[rainbow8]

For about 4 years T was on my insurance and I paid around $20 per week copay. Then my insurance changed and I had to pay out-of-pocket. T asked what I could pay and my H said $75, which is half of what she charges. I saw her every other week until my H got sick. Then I needed weekly sessions.

I've been paying her the reduced fee for 2 years but feeling like it's not fair to her. When I hired the organizer person this week, I told T I wanted to pay her more, so I will be paying $100 weekly. I never was in charge of our finances; my H did it. I have someone I trust helping me, but it's new to me though I must say I'm doing very well at learning.

I told T I'll start the new fee next week. It's a lot of money but like with the organizer, I can now afford it. Money brings up issues like my never having a career and earning barely more than minimum wage. I will probably be okay but I was just thinking about it. T earns her money and gives clients a full hour so it's only right I pay her more. It's still not her full salary, but she thanked me and said she appreciated it. Has anyone else gotten a reduced rate and then raised it?

[ScarletPimpernel]

I have a reduced rate with my T. She charges $150 and I pay $100. When my fiance got a job, we talked about paying my T her full rate. But he lost his job soon after, and hasn't gotten one since.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Why do you ask?

I'm just curious. No one has to share.

[velcro003]

I only pay a co-pay, and literally could not afford it if she didn't take my insurance. That being said, she just said to me last week (because i'm going through some financial stuff):

"I literally will not take your co-pay until you feel like you are ok. My T has helped me out in the past, and she told me that if it was my sanity vs $25 bucks in my pocket, i'd take your sanity."

<3

It is pretty awesome of her, but I still will try and pay anyway, because I know she doesn't get her full fee even with insurance.

I think if you can afford to pay her more, you should, as long as that is what you want to do.

[1stepatatime]

I pay a reduced rate , I've paid the same amount for a very long time. My therapist is very fair about that. I recently told her I wanted to pay her a bit more, because I could AND she deserves it. She is out of network so she emails me a receipt every month and I get back 70%.

[growlycat]

Kashi has given me a get out of jail free card ...good for one free session. He said he did not want me to skip a session just for money reasons. I don't want to get in that situation but it was a nice gesture.

[Gettingitsoon]

I respect what you're doing.
You can now pay more, you want to, so do it.

I would not be able to pay even half regular fee. I'm grateful to have a low copay so even when I need to see t twice in one week, I can manage it.

[junkDNA]

my T charges around $100 for a session, but he lets me pay $25 for a session. he knows i am pretty poor... i hope to pay his full rate when i get a new job, new insurance. currently he cant take my insurances (medicaid, medicare). i do feel bad about paying such a low amount...especially because i can be pretty difficult and needy

I pay zilch. Insurance pays everything, no copay.

In my country you can choose for a cheaper health insurance policy wherein you can only go to approved doctors/therapists/hospitals, or you can pay extra and have free choice. I (well, my parents) pay extra.

[BayBrony]

I have been paying a reduced fee for quite a while now. It basically allows me to see her twice a week instead if once a week. She has told me repeatedly she really doesn't care and has encouraged me to seek other help ( body work etc) even while i am paying a reduced fee ( its about half normal fee).
She basically said if she didnt want to do it she would not do it so dont worry about it.
I hope to be able to pay more but as a small business owner we are constantly struggling with expenses.

[ruh roh]

I've only paid a reduced fee once, with a therapist many years ago. And then I wanted to buy a new car and couldn't reconcile doing that and paying the therapist so little, knowing I had bought the new car, so I told him I was buying a car instead of therapy, and I quit.

I can't honestly talk to a therapist about my life and would feel guilty and embarrassed to talk about taking classes or buying a home or doing things that clearly cost money, all the while paying her a reduced fee. It's just me, though, and how I am. I'd feel I couldn't talk about those other things, and it would weigh on me. I know people who are genuinely broke--like, on SSI and seriously struggling. I would want them to get good help at little or no cost. I have no doubt that my therapist sees people who can't afford therapy. I would hope they pay her when they get on their feet. It just seems like an honorable thing to do.

I'm impressed, rainbow. I'm sure your therapist really appreciates it.

eta: just want to add that I am not swimming in money. I just live very conservatively so that I can afford therapy. Not judging anyone else who takes a reduced fee. Everyone's situation is different. Just saying how I feel it would keep me from talking about other parts of my life, like I would be wondering if my therapist is thinking...wow, ruh roh, you are doing all these projects on your home and paying workers their full fees? So, it's just how I am.

[CyclingPsych]

I pay a reduced fee because of money issues w. family. It was once a week for 75 (normally 120+) but he added another session free. So, two sessions for 75.

Rainbow, there is a little of movement with you lately. You are doing some really good work with your t. Something in you has become unstuck and you are taking back some control of your life, how does it feel to take control of the finances? I think you are putting s value in the work you both do together and you are giving yourself permission to value the work but emotionally and financially

Good for you, Rainbow!

[brillskep]

I may be wrong, but to me this process sounds like it's actually therapeutic and empowering for you - like now you are learning and in charge of your own finances and you made the decision to pay more. Which sounds wonderful and if you feel it's good for you, I'm glad you can do it!

I am paying a reduced rate too. I think I have from the beginning, but back then I was a student and my therapist asked for a certain fee and I agreed; I don't know what he charged others back then. But he increased my fee twice in almost 7 years, and both times he told me his full fee was more. My understanding is that he works with a sliding scale and he probably increases the whole scale at a time.

[Wonderfalls]

My pdoc/therapist of 15 years has never charged me a copay and once when my company changed insurance (yet again) he picked up that insurance. When so many pdocs are now taking only cash he says he takes insurance, with all the trouble and the low pay, because he feels it's his social obligation to make himself available to people who couldn't otherwise afford him

When my insurance changed the last time it was to a provider that he just can't take. Still he had his accountant bill it for the little out-of-network it would pay and then take the trouble to send it on to my secondary insurance, which almost no one takes.And he accepts full payment for that, with no copay.

Now I have to change doctors and the ones I've seen haven't even give me a useable receipt to self file to my secondary insurance after the in-network pays whatever pittance it's going to. So here comes an argument with them and their staff.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Rainbow, there is a little of movement with you lately. You are doing some really good work with your t. Something in you has become unstuck and you are taking back some control of your life, how does it feel to take control of the finances? I think you are putting s value in the work you both do together and you are giving yourself permission to value the work but emotionally and financially

Thanks, Mona. I think you are getting unstuck too! Yes, something is shifting but it's a little scary. I'm hiring people to help me, which in my case shows strength, not weakness. Taking control of my finances is empowering but it seems so weird, so unusual for me. I feel sad about paying T $100 though. That is a lot of money to pay each week. It makes it clear to me that I'm her job. TBH, it makes me feel terrible. Maybe I will break down and cry when I give her my check next week. I don't think what I do in my session is worth $100. I ended up paying my former T $100/session so I saw her monthly. I was so glad when I quit her and found my current T who I only had to pay $20 or $25 a week. I don't know what I am going to do! I wanted to do the right thing and pay her more. I didn't know how it was going to affect me.

Originally Posted by brillskep

I may be wrong, but to me this process sounds like it's actually therapeutic and empowering for you - like now you are learning and in charge of your own finances and you made the decision to pay more. Which sounds wonderful and if you feel it's good for you, I'm glad you can do it!

I am paying a reduced rate too. I think I have from the beginning, but back then I was a student and my therapist asked for a certain fee and I agreed; I don't know what he charged others back then. But he increased my fee twice in almost 7 years, and both times he told me his full fee was more. My understanding is that he works with a sliding scale and he probably increases the whole scale at a time.

Yes, it's empowering and therapeutic but at the same time I feel so depressed about it! I wish I could go back in time to when I first started seeing my T. The price was right and she was wonderful. Maybe 7 years is long enough. I'm crying so I can't write any more.

[hopealwayz]

My Ex-T gave me a reduced fee for a long time and then raised it because he said the discount was leading to feelings of resentment.

[brillskep]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Thanks, Mona. I think you are getting unstuck too! Yes, something is shifting but it's a little scary. I'm hiring people to help me, which in my case shows strength, not weakness. Taking control of my finances is empowering but it seems so weird, so unusual for me. I feel sad about paying T $100 though. That is a lot of money to pay each week. It makes it clear to me that I'm her job. TBH, it makes me feel terrible. Maybe I will break down and cry when I give her my check next week. I don't think what I do in my session is worth $100. I ended up paying my former T $100/session so I saw her monthly. I was so glad when I quit her and found my current T who I only had to pay $20 or $25 a week. I don't know what I am going to do! I wanted to do the right thing and pay her more. I didn't know how it was going to affect me.

Yes, it's empowering and therapeutic but at the same time I feel so depressed about it! I wish I could go back in time to when I first started seeing my T. The price was right and she was wonderful. Maybe 7 years is long enough. I'm crying so I can't write any more.

I'm sorry to hear it's so painful for you. I hadn't really gotten that from your original post. I understand that, too. I think the fee I am paying my therapist now is overpriced for what he does for me most sessions, even though it's reduced and less than what most therapists ask for and need. Then there are sessions which I would think are worth more. But I think therapy is very, very hard to put a price on - I get both the need not to feel like just a job and the therapist's honest need for the money. It's a difficult situation. I hope it goes better for you this time, with this therapist, and that you can at least reap the therapeutic gains from exploring whatever this change is bringing up for you.

Also, remember that you are the one who had the initiative, your therapist didn't ask, did she? So maybe it might be helpful for you to reframe this as appreciation and respect for her rather than you just being her job. Maybe I'm wrong - for me this works though. It works to think that my therapist needs this money to keep learning to be a therapist and to take care of himself so that he can better be there for me.

I'm sorry you're hurting right now - hope it gets better

[ruh roh]

"I don't think what I do in my session is worth $100."

Is the issue of worth stemming from what you do with the hour or what she offers? Because if it's the first, then that's a change you can effect.

It's interesting that paying a therapist you like their full fee is making you cry. I'd say that's good material right there.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by brillskep

I'm sorry to hear it's so painful for you. I hadn't really gotten that from your original post. I understand that, too. I think the fee I am paying my therapist now is overpriced for what he does for me most sessions, even though it's reduced and less than what most therapists ask for and need. Then there are sessions which I would think are worth more. But I think therapy is very, very hard to put a price on - I get both the need not to feel like just a job and the therapist's honest need for the money. It's a difficult situation. I hope it goes better for you this time, with this therapist, and that you can at least reap the therapeutic gains from exploring whatever this change is bringing up for you.

Also, remember that you are the one who had the initiative, your therapist didn't ask, did she? So maybe it might be helpful for you to reframe this as appreciation and respect for her rather than you just being her job. Maybe I'm wrong - for me this works though. It works to think that my therapist needs this money to keep learning to be a therapist and to take care of himself so that he can better be there for me.

I'm sorry you're hurting right now - hope it gets better

Thank you. I am conflicted about it because I have issues about money. T deserves her full fee or at least closer to it, but I think Ts are overpaid. I know a lot of teachers who work at least as hard and they get much, much less because teachers are underpaid! Not in public schools, maybe, but in private schools. I didn't teach but I never earned more than $18/hour in my whole life! With a Master's degree. That's not T's fault. I know. It's all my issues.

Also my H never wanted me to be in therapy so I felt guilty when I saw my former T who took insurance at first but then stopped. When insurance paid most or with the reduced fee, I didn't think about how much I would have to pay without it.

Yes, it was totally my idea because I want to be fair.

Originally Posted by ruh roh

"I don't think what I do in my session is worth $100."

Is the issue of worth stemming from what you do with the hour or what she offers? Because if it's the first, then that's a change you can effect.

It's interesting that paying a therapist you like their full fee is making you cry. I'd say that's good material right there.

I don't pay my medical doctors $100 a visit because I have insurance! I don't spend that much on anything except food. It makes me realize I am using my T as a friend or sister. I shouldn't be paying her to look at my artwork or photos of my grandchildren. Yes, the money raises a lot of issues for me. It's a Catch 22. I'm not through working on my issues so I have to pay for the therapist. I had problems with paying most of my Ts, mostly because my H wouldn't let me go if I didn't get a reduced fee. What a mess.

[ruh roh]

About comparing to teacher's salaries: Being self-employed, a professional takes a lot of financial risks and uncertainties--no retirement, no health benefits (the individual market is unbelievably craven), there is the added cost of paying employer's taxes (about 8%), state and local business taxes, a percentage to a billing company if they use one to bill insurance, plus regular operating costs. It's a lot of work with no job security.

And it has nothing to do with the worth of teachers who are underpaid and underappreciated.

Sorry. I get upset when people look in other people's pockets and determine their worth.

You are of course right to question if your therapy is of value to you. That's really important. And since you pay out of pocket, you especially need to question the value to you. Just know that any private practice or self employment is a huge risk and endeavor. I've had to leave my career recently because health insurance shot up to $800 month--that's what insurance companies do to those of us who don't have group or employer's insurance. And all the state and local taxes which just gouge me to death. No protection. No income security. I had to let go a long time ago people who raised an eyebrow at my hourly fee. They just have no idea what;s involved. And that doesn't account for the cost of my education and the years of training and experience.

[UnderRugSwept]

All excellent points, RR...I could not agree more.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

About comparing to teacher's salaries: Being self-employed, a professional takes a lot of financial risks and uncertainties--no retirement, no health benefits (the individual market is unbelievably craven), there is the added cost of paying employer's taxes (about 8%), state and local business taxes, a percentage to a billing company if they use one to bill insurance, plus regular operating costs. It's a lot of work with no job security.

And it has nothing to do with the worth of teachers who are underpaid and underappreciated.

Sorry. I get upset when people look in other people's pockets and determine their worth.

You are of course right to question if your therapy is of value to you. That's really important. And since you pay out of pocket, you especially need to question the value to you. Just know that any private practice or self employment is a huge risk and endeavor. I've had to leave my career recently because health insurance shot up to $800 month--that's what insurance companies do to those of us who don't have group or employer's insurance. And all the state and local taxes which just gouge me to death. No protection. No income security. I had to let go a long time ago people who raised an eyebrow at my hourly fee. They just have no idea what;s involved. And that doesn't account for the cost of my education and the years of training and experience.

I hear you! I'm sorry I brought it up. I'm wrong and I admit it's my issue and I stand corrected.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by Elsewhere

All excellent points, RR...I could not agree more.

Okay. I'm wrong and I forgot about expenses of being self-employed. It appears to me that $150 hour seeing 25 or 30 clients ( I forgot exactly what T told me) a week is a lot of money. My daughter said she should have become a T instead of a teacher!

But please could people not post about fairness of salaries in this thread? I'm feeling bad about my stuff right now and a debate on salaries is not going to be supportive for me. I would appreciate that.