Feel

Feel like T doesn't care - sorry, it sent before I'd finished typing.

I sometimes feel like my T isn't as invested as I am and it hurts. Sometimes she's so busy she can't see me every week so I have to miss a week. She doesn't do any evening appointments or weekends, and I really feel if I just cut contact maybe she wouldn't even notice.

It hurts so much because she's the best therapist I've seen. In my last job i did shift work so I could see her on weekdays but now I'm starting a 9-5 mon-fri job and I don't think she'll be able to see me, and I honestly think it will break my heart to not be able to see her anymore. I don't think I could handle losing her.

I don't know what to do.

Well - your therapy is the most (or one of the most) importang thing in your life, but not in your T's life. It can hurt, but it's true.

But i'm sure if you cut contact she would notice and worry about you. Do you have a lunch break at work? Is it possible to see T at this time? Or can you leave work earlier once a week? Hope you'll reach a compromise!

I would find a T that understands how important it was.
A T that offers regular slots. A T that understands from the work undertaken, what needs to be put in place.

Is it working shifts that is causing you to be unable to take a regular weekly spot.
My pdoc is a single parent so he can't be flexible with his time either.

Really hope you find a compromise. Have you spoke to her clearly outlining the problem?

If she really is unable to meet you halfway, then maybe ask if she could recommend another T?

Good luck and all the best.

Try to hang onto your T if you really like her. Good T's are very, very, hard to find. At least that's been my experience.

Thanks you for the replies.

I feel so let down my by T. She couldn't see me last week because she was all booked up with appointments. I txt last week asking her to remind me when my appointment is this week and didn't receive a reply. I think it's tomorrow but needed to make sure as I wasn't sure so txt again asking if she could let me know when it is and have still received no reply.

It is so so upsetting and it also makes me angry. I told her before I'd felt abandoned by a previous T and now it's like it's happening again. I don't know how she could do this to me. For some reason she can't offer me a regular weekly slot so it always feels unstable. It's really hard for me as she's the only one I clicked with after trying for a long time to find a good T. What should I do?

Did she say if she will get you into a regular time as soon as one opens? I had to wait for that with the one I see now. It was stressful having to book week to week, but it helped knowing that I would get a regular time eventually.

The therapist could have some issues of her own going on that influence how she deals with her patients. Who really knows.

With the work conflict issue, I'd see about finding a compromise through your work if at all possible. Take away some time on one day to go to the appointment and make up that lost time on another day, or something. Your employer wouldn't need details. You could call it 'personal time' or prior commitments -- something to that effect.

She doesn't have a receptionist or an office staff or anything that you can call?

I see a counselor on a regular basis, and I wouldn't rely on her for remembering my appointments at all, let alone reminding me about them. She's a very good therapist, but she's previously entirely forgotten about an appointment (she booked it, then forgot to tell her receptionist about it), so maybe not so reliable administratively (hence having someone else handle it).

This would just be a matter of her triaging her patients.

I would definitely have this discussion with her, if it hasn't happened already.