While Waiting For Reply From T

I think I would rather not get a reply at all rather than get one that just says "k".

I only respond to texts or emails with "K" when it is someone I don't particularly like,just as a way to let them know that what they say is so unimportant to me that I can't even be bothered with putting an "o" in front of the "k" to make the word "ok".Or to let them know I don't really want to be communicating with them at all but since I feel obligated to I will put the least amount of effort into it as possible.

If my T ever responded with "k" I would be very hurt and feel so invalidated.

I am sorry you have experienced that.

A lot depends on context and the relationship. To be honest it didn't have a really negative effect on me and I am pretty sensitive. It just felt like the most efficacious way to indicate assent. It wasn't as fulfilling as I had hoped, but not hurtful. Artemis-W may have felt differently.

I got over it quickly. T and i have a very positive relationship.

Well I can finally say yay!

I got a reply from my T.It took 5 days for a response,it has never taken that long in 7 years.I don't know why,whether he had been busy,out of town,sick or something,but I guess that doesn't matter now.

I think I am done emailing him.If something is so urgent that I need to contact him,I think I will just call.Waiting for an email is too stressful for me and I am the one that makes it stressful,not him.It takes me to places in my mind that I just don't want to keep going.

Perhaps you could also ask him in a session for a timeframe of when you can expect a response by?

Why oh why did I send another email to my T and do this to myself again?Won't I ever learn?It's my own fault.

Why is that urge to have contact so hard to resist?I can understand when it's an emergency or even important,but my god,why do I keep doing this for no reason at all other than wanting to hear from him,the only reason I sent one yesterday.

I need to control myself better.

Should have came back here and read this again before sending another one!

I have the same issue, so I get it. I think part of it is just wanting to make contact, make the connection. It can be difficult, especially after an intense session. I think it's only natural to want to touch base instead of waiting a week for another appointment.

But you're right, that waiting for a response is tough. Even if it's an e-mail where I don't feel a huge need for a response. My T will only respond sometimes (otherwise will discuss in session). But there are times when she'll write back to several in a row, so I expect her to do that with the next one, then if she doesn't, I'm concerned I'm annoying her or she's sick of me. Same with my marriage counselor--waiting to hear something back from him right now (after a session Monday when we talked about whether we should keep seeing him--so feeling a little nervous about it.)

Hope you hear back soon!

Here is my last real email to t...so I get it... I so get it!

No pretense ... no BS.. right to the point.

Yeah,that was definitely to the point Elio.Did you get a reply?

I still haven't received a reply for the last one I sent.I am trying my best to not let it get to me.

i actually deleted my Ts phone number from my phone on wednesday. we had a rough session. i deleted his contact info and all the texts, so i wouldnt have a way to contact him. i dont have his number memorized

anyway at 7pm that night guess who texted me?
now i have his number again. im thinking about deleting it again

I feel the same way with my T. She doesn't reply to all my e-mails, but she somehow senses which one needs replies, and which ones don't. And if she is wrong, and I really am not doing well, I will e-mail again, and she then replies.

I also know other ways of letting her know it is more urgent (I only text her when I need a phone call), but the stability and her being the exact same always is what helps me not freak out if she doesn't respond.

I'm sorry you haven't had a reply, that must be hard. I don't email my T but I do text her and she always replies, usually right away, I think the longest I have had to wait is an hour or 2 but I know she will always reply as soon as she can so I'm guess I'm lucky in that respect. I would find it hard if the next day I was still waiting

Oh yes, that's me exactly. And every single time I promise myself I won't email her ever again. Lol. Lol lol. Me? Not emailing T? Not gonna happen. She used to reply within a day or 2, but recently quite often she's like "sorry I didn't reply, my computer was down and when I got it running again it was 1 day left till appt, so I thought we'll talk about it" or "it somehow went to spam folder, I only saw it yesterday". I don't buy that. That's BS. She's lying. Why doesn't she just tell me that from now on, no emails. So I'm testing her. Quite deliberately. I write an email after each session (this not unusual for me, but frankly could survive without it) just to see what happens. yeah, I'm a mix of mean and stupid. I don't care.

Yep, I got a reply about 2 hours later. I've kind of figured out her usual availability to reply to emails. Maybe that is not a good thing because if she doesn't reply in that window it might start the "waiting cycle". On the flip side, it does give me some level of reassurance that ... ok I emailed at x time.. don't expect anything until y time. That might be 1 hr away or 23 hr away. So, I emailed her early enough in the morning to hit that window within 3 hours.

Her reply was simple. She thanked me for writing and stated that sometimes an email is what helps us get through.

I do the "oh I don't know what feeling I want to attributed to this"... but I'll sit with the emails open for a long period of time (like hours) and periodically return to it and reread my email and hers. It helps though, so maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself about it.

Thanks Elio,I sent another email after reading about your no BS,right to the point one,so I am expecting to hear back soon.

(not sure how I will feel if I don't get one)

I sent my T an email, and asked them not to reply, and still checked my email every minute.. So I'm going to say that what you're experience is normal!!

Needless to say, T responded, and I don't know how I feel about that now because I asked them not to reply? Like, I'm glad they did, but also not....... Life is weird. o_O

I did the "no need to reply" statement a few times and she replied to most of them, the only ones she didn't is when I bcc'd her on something going to another party and then followed up with her to let her know why I bcc'd her and that I didn't need a reply. I find it reassuring that she still replies. I haven't out and out said "don't reply" so I don't know what I'd feel if I did that and she replied.

Yeah I think it's good that they reply despite what we may request.. Kind of shows a bit of commitment and support I guess.. My intentions for requesting a no reply was because of the way I wait and wait for her words.. It's a bit easier to get on when you're not expecting a reply I guess.. But it wasn't all the effective anyway haha!