[Soccer mom]

Some of you have followed my journey so I thought I would report that I delivered my closure letter to my ex-therapist a little over a week ago. I told her I had something I wanted to give her in person. To my surprise she agreed to stop by my work.

After a few words explaining why a letter and why now, I held out the letter and she asked "are you sure you want to give it to me". I immediately told her that I almost backed out the day before. Later I got upset she even asked me that question. I explained that the letter explains what I think happened and I was worried she would be upset after reading it. I told her I have no hard feelings, am at peace and am moving on. I said I hope when I see her next everything is ok. She told me I wouldn't know if it isn't. I was irritated that she was making me question reality when I see her. After some small talk, she left my office. I felt great, at peace and like I could really move on.

I saw her several days later at a school function and she blatantly ignored me despite my effort to make eye contact. It didn't bother me as I thought she may have been embarrassed after reading my letter. Ironically, I used advice she used to give me and assumed her behavior had nothing to do with me.

I haven't seen her since but have come to terms that I may have completely ended the cordial manner in which we used to interact when we saw each other. I chose telling my truth in hopes of getting closure. My therapist and I are now moving on to talking about my deceased mom.

Anyway, for those who have been terminated and think you will never improve, you can. I had great help from the next therapist and realized where my last therapy went wrong. Once I figured out why I had all my feelings, I could slowly put them in the past. My ex-T will probably forever be in my mind but it was a very profound experience. Most importantly - I no longer let her or that experience define me.

[ruh roh]

That's great. Even better that you can claim peace about this on your own, without her. You got your power back.

[kecanoe]

Good for you!

[LonesomeTonight]

That's great! I'm glad you've found closure... and if she can't deal with what you had to say in the letter, to the point that she can't even look at you, that's on her, not you.

[Merecat]

Well done - great that you're able to move on. I'm not surprised she might not want to acknowledge you though, you've told her your sense of what happened and she doesn't have the opportunity to reply or explore that with you. In those circumstances I'd probably keep my distance too. I'm not saying that because I think there was anything different you could have done but to explain why she may just not want to be around you.

[Out There]

I'm glad you got closure - it seems you're the bigger person than Ex T , unfortunately some people can't accept where they went wrong.

This is really great you are getting closure and moving forward. It seemed like such a dire situation, and you came out the other side stronger than before.

Her change in behavior says a lot, too, I think.

It sounds you did the right thing, and are content with your decision.

[Soccer mom]

Originally Posted by Merecat

Well done - great that you're able to move on. I'm not surprised she might not want to acknowledge you though, you've told her your sense of what happened and she doesn't have the opportunity to reply or explore that with you. In those circumstances I'd probably keep my distance too. I'm not saying that because I think there was anything different you could have done but to explain why she may just not want to be around you.

Actually I told her in person and in the letter that I would welcome talking to her about it if she wanted. I said In the letter that I know it's my perception but it is what mattered. I also told her I have absolutely no hard feelings and am at peace

[Soccer mom]

I've seen her again since I wrote this and she ignored me trying to make eye contact. As in therapy, she is giving me a consequence for sharing my feelings. I'm sure she doesn't realize that her current behavior was part of my issue under her care. Thanks for the support!!!

[ruh roh]

Very affirming, in a painful way, but affirming nonetheless. Good for you.

[MBM17]

Wow, way to go! You did hard work and persisted, and you've found peace. That's wonderful.

[velcro003]

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

I've seen her again since I wrote this and she ignored me trying to make eye contact. As in therapy, she is giving me a consequence for sharing my feelings. I'm sure she doesn't realize that her current behavior was part of my issue under her care. Thanks for the support!!!

Wow. That is crazy-pants to me, but clearly your ex-T has some issues of her own. Glad you got closure and feel at peace with all of it!

[chihirochild]

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

I told her I have no hard feelings, am at peace and am moving on. I said I hope when I see her next everything is ok. She told me I wouldn't know if it isn't.

I realize I am very late posting this (it took me a while to catch up on the previous posts). But for heaven's sake! Soccer mom, your ex-T sounds like a passive-aggresisve crazy-making snot. I am so so sorry that someone you went to for help is treating you like this. I wish she could behave like a therapist, or at least like a grown-up.

I know I sound very derisive but I am very angry with ex-T on your behalf. I'm really glad to hear that your current T is working to give you the care you deserve.

[Soccer mom]

I haven't updated but we are now talking. In fact we keep running into each other in a public place and she is talking more than she used to. Like nothing ever happened. So perhaps she needed time to process. Either way it all turned out how I hoped. We are friendly and cordial and I got to finally tell her about my experience. I couldn't ask for a better outcome!

Glad it worked out for the best. It must be a good feeling to not have any bitterness lingering from either direction.