[AnxiousGirl]

I know it's my second post but usually after therapy I'm still in like shock or something so I don't come to my senses until like 3 ish hours later so then I post here (sorry everyone lol).

But yeah had a session today and usually I go every Monday but since the past Monday was family day we moved it to today (Wednesday) so if I go it would be in 5 days rather than the full week. So at the end my T was like "should we keep the session next week or skip it?" I was like whatever you want to do (even though I wanted to keep it) so she's like "okay how about we skip it next week and you come in the week after" Im like sure (smiling even though I'm crying inside lol). Now I came home and I have no idea how on earth I can manage that long especially during this time (I'm having a horrible time with my health anxiety) and I feel like I'm slowly able to open up to her. But like either way online she has this calendar thing that shows open appointments and there is one a week today I don't know why she didn't even offer that one (maybe I lied to her face saying that I didn't want the Monday one she thought why not SKIP THE ENTIRE WEEK). She told me that I shouldn't feel bad about emailing her about anything on my mind because whenever I start an email to her it's like "sorry for emailing again but...."

If I were to ask for the session next week it would make me feel SO needy and ashamed that if I were to I would just say I have work the following week so next week is the only free time I have between the next 2 weeks.

What do I do guys I don't want to be like I want to come in then feel needy and go in and not say whats on my mind even though I'm dying to. Ugh this is actually so confusing.

I haven't been in therapy very long so not sure I will be any help but I also had to change from a Monday to a Wednesday one week as my T was away. She also asked me if I wanted to miss a week or come in a few days later. I said I wanted to come a few days later instead of asking her. Maybe she thought by saying whatever she wants to do she was just suggesting what she thought was best. Maybe email or call your T and say actually you feel a bit anxious about missing a week and can you have the following Monday after all? I wouldn't worry about feeling needy .. I think a lot of people in therapy are and I am sure your T understands that. If you say you need to work the week after then does that mean you would then miss that week and feel the same as you do now?

[AnxiousGirl]

Originally Posted by SS1971

I haven't been in therapy very long so not sure I will be any help but I also had to change from a Monday to a Wednesday one week as my T was away. She also asked me if I wanted to miss a week or come in a few days later. I said I wanted to come a few days later instead of asking her. Maybe she thought by saying whatever she wants to do she was just suggesting what she thought was best. Maybe email or call your T and say actually you feel a bit anxious about missing a week and can you have the following Monday after all? I wouldn't worry about feeling needy .. I think a lot of people in therapy are and I am sure your T understands that. If you say you need to work the week after then does that mean you would then miss that week and feel the same as you do now?

Basically when my T asked if it was okay to skip a week I just shrugged it off like sure no biggy, which is why she just moved on and was okay to skip it, I know it was entirely my fault.

Only issue is I don't know how to actually email her, I've never been in a situation where I was asking for a session, maybe because I haven't felt this bad before I have no clue.

Also about the work thing, yes basically I would so I guess you're right, I should be straight forward about it.

[AnxiousGirl]

Just sent the email basically asking if I could go in next week and explaining why I agreed to skip it while in session. If she already gave the appt away theres not much I could do there but hey asking for a session is something I've never done before so I guess thats progress? ..

I totally get that .. I think at one point if my T had asked if it was okay to skip a session I would probably have reacted the same as you and then thought she didn't want to see me anymore. But now I would be able to say actually I would rather not skip one but sometimes it's so hard to say how you really feel in therapy isn't it.
Well done you on sending the email and it's definitely progress :-) .. I hope she still has the appointment available and comes back to you soon

[AnxiousGirl]

Originally Posted by SS1971

I totally get that .. I think at one point if my T had asked if it was okay to skip a session I would probably have reacted the same as you and then thought she didn't want to see me anymore. But now I would be able to say actually I would rather not skip one but sometimes it's so hard to say how you really feel in therapy isn't it.
Well done you on sending the email and it's definitely progress :-) .. I hope she still has the appointment available and comes back to you soon

It is hard you're right. Glad I have the email outlet though. Hopefully she replies soon.

[AnxiousGirl]

T emailed back basically saying the only reason she offered the week off was for me because things were getting rough. But she said to absolutely come in next week. Phewwww.

[skeksi]

I'm glad you asked for the appointment, you wanted it and it's okay to ask after the fact.

I have sometimes gone along with my T. It became fodder for our sessions: why don't I think what I want matters, why am I afraid to state my needs, etc. it's okay to have difficulty with this. From what you say of your T, she will work through it with you.

[ruh roh]

Yay for you! Glad you emailed and asked.

That's great news :-)

[Erebos]

Glad u had the strength to ask for what you needed. Even better that you didn't make up some excuse, and were honest about your needs.
Good job.

[AnxiousGirl]

Thanks for all the replies everyone Made me feel okay for asking!

Erebos, ive noticed that I usually have pride take over what I actually need and I think that's been the reason I've been guarded in therapy for 2 years but lately I've been putting my pride aside and being honest (slowly) more than I have ever been. It finally feels nice and my T definitely doesn't mind it!