Perfectionism and punctuality

I walk into to the therapist's office exactly 1 minute late according to my watch.

You are not driving yourself thus you are not in control of when you get there. Who knows how long the taxi will get to your place, etc.

Due to the transit schedule here I would arrive about 50 minutes early to my therapist. She too practically ordered me to stop coming that early. When I informed her I had no choice she suggested I do something else instead of wait in her office. I pointed out it was -25C outside at the time. Was she going to pay for said activities? If she didn't like me in her office, I said, perhaps she should schedule me according to my availability.

I mostly bus it to my appt and I'm usually 15 mins early if I do. It's just recently it's been 25 mins cause I had to taxi it. Plus my town is full of road works etc

Does she have a white noise machine in the waiting area? I dont understand. The waiting room is for waiting!!! The white noise machine should make it so clients cant hear each other.

I think there is a distinction to make between clients who arrive very early out of an excessive anxiety or a sense of compulsion, and clients who arrive very early because that is how the logistics work out. If there is an excessive anxiety or compulsion, in my view a therapist might well want to address it in the manner being discussed here.

Bill3 your right, its part of my compulsion I must always be early for everything. Today I spoke to my Community Worker and she laughed and said I understand. She says its cause I am needing to be early out of panic.She says this is a way for me to not have control which is what I want and need. She says my Psychologist will tell the receptionist about me arriving late so not to worry about that. All my mental health team work in the same building so they know my face/name been going for years. I'm starting to get nervous now about it. I am thinking of getting there 5-10 mins late no later than that.

I don't see how this is helping you at all. Seems to be creating even more anxiety. I think your therapist needs to let this go. It's ridiculous.

I guess it makes some sense to be late and see what happens, sort of like exposure therapy. On the other hand, it makes more sense to me to just work on the things that I actually want to change. I don't mind being early, being patient and waiting is not an issue for me. So that is not something I would work on changing. But maybe t is on to something if it is causing you to be anxious about being 5 minutes late when your t has specifically said to do that.

Do you believe that the receptionist will not block you from seeing t?

PS: I think 5 minutes late is plenty.

I do believe the receptionist might have something to say but my community worker says she will tell the receptionist I'm to be late. So I'm not to worry at all

I usually show up about 30-40 minutes early. My therapist commented on it once, I explained that because the office is so far away and my appt time is just an hour after work, I don't want to just wait around and kill time for 20 minutes only to get stuck in rush hour traffic. If I waited, the rush hour traffic would make it a longer, more annoying commute. I'd rather just drive to the office and wait outside, read a book, make notes or get a tea and collect myself down the street before session.

For me, however, it's not really about fear of being late. If my appt were on a Sat. I'd probably time my arrival a lot closer to the appt time. Google Maps is great for this, btw. I know the directions but I love using the feature to tell me when I should leave by to get somewhere on time.

I don't think the idea of 'testing' late arrival is a bad thing but I would just make it about 5 minutes, not ten. That eats into your paid time.

Hey guys, so my session went great today. I was 5 mins late YAY!! I talked it over with my friends and CPN and they reassured me that I'll be fine and nothing bad would happen. Nothing bad happened at all. I'm to be late next time too it's all about making me less anxious

Great news!

Glad it helped you!

I'm happy for you!

I've tried being late or on time and not losing my shyt over it, and even though there were no consequences and the world didn't cave in, and the loss of "control" didn't kill me, I still can't for the life of me be late. Even being on time counts as late in my book...

For three weeks I've gotten to work on time or 2 minutes late due to traffic.

I just couldn't stand it anymore. The anxiety was stressing me out, I need to be early, at least by half an hour, hour max.

I started leaving home at 5:30 yesterday to get to work by 7am (bus commute sucks)....

Sorry didn't mean to ramble, I just envy you at the moment and I'm genuinely happy for you.

Hey Trippin,

Awww that sucks about the bus commute. I get it as I have to get from college to my Psychologist in 30 mins that's never going to happen if I commute by bus. I have to taxi it as I would be more than 30 mins late.

*....Is habitually 20 mins late, for everything.*