[hopealwayz]

I just sent my therapist an email telling him that I wont be back. Every other week isnt going to work for me. I really like him too but last session, he didn't really feel attuned to me.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

I just sent my therapist an email telling him that I wont be back. Every other week isnt going to work for me. I really like him too but last session, he didn't really feel attuned to me.

There are going to be times when you don't feel attuned to your t. I worry that you are self sabotaging in this case.

If t were to call you and ask you to return, would you? If the answer is still no them maybe this is the right decision. But if the answer would be yes....well... Maybe you should call him and ask for a few minutes to air your concerns. What if his receptionist gets your email and just deletes you off the schedule? T will not be aware that you are having difficulty.

I think that's good given the negative effects you are experiencing and also how he first stated he could do weekly sessions then 'took it back'. Unless he had a change in his life, reduced his schedule or something else, it sounds really shady.

Not that this is true for everyone, but my therapist said there's no point really in going every 2 weeks. He said it would be a waste of money. I don't totally agree with him, but i do think it's true for people with certain issues doing exploration in depth therapy.

On the other hand, going only every 2 weeks can lessen transference and all the intense feelings that go with it. But that wouldn't allow you to get as much accomplished in my opinion.

[growlycat]

There is still the possibility that this is receptionist error. Or that t forgot you need once a week or maybe t is working on his schedule to get you in but it won't happen right away.

When I did stuff like this my long term t called it "having an argument without me".

[LonesomeTonight]

Did you actually say to him in session that you wanted to come weekly? If so what did he say? And I agree with Growly that a T isn't going to seem completely attuned to you every session. He could have had personal stuff going on or wasn't feeling well, or something like that, which had nothing to do with you. Plus if you were feeling defensive and hurt, you may not have been open to letting him in.

How did you leave things at the end of the session? Did you make another appointment with him? I think it's worth contacting him to discuss your concerns about scheduling before totalling writing him off...

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

I just sent my therapist an email telling him that I wont be back. Every other week isnt going to work for me. I really like him too but last session, he didn't really feel attuned to me.

Good decision. Find a T that understands what it takes.

[itisnt]

If I'm reading your post correctly, I think it's interesting that this T originally indicated that he was open to meeting with you once a week, and then he seemed to change his mind. I'm wondering if when you began therapy with him and began to discuss the difficulties you experienced with your previous T, he changed directions. I wonder this because there is a therapeutic approach that some T follow regarding people "they" deem as having significant attachment issues. I know that things were pretty rocky between you and your previous T, and he really caused you some significant pain and anguish with his inconsistent and poor therapeutic approach. Some Ts think that they can avoid over attachment with clients by scheduling appointments on a every other week schedule. Personally, I think that's ridiculous and too authoritative on a T's part. I'm not saying that this is his reason for keeping you to this schedule but it's a possibility. If this is his reason, he should man up and talk about why he thinks this is a better schedule for you and then spend some time talking with you and finding out why you aren't on board with that approach. I hate when T just make a decision and never talk about it with the person who is paying them for their SERVICE! I'm sorry this hasn't worked out for you, especially since I know from your posts that you were really hurt by your previous T's failures.

[satsuma]

I really hope you will find another good T who will be able to offer regular weekly sessions.

[AllHeart]

Originally Posted by hopealwayz

I just sent my therapist an email telling him that I wont be back. Every other week isnt going to work for me. I really like him too but last session, he didn't really feel attuned to me.

Sorry to hear this. I know the occasional misattuned session does happen and it normally stinks. I thought you were initially set up to see this t every week then went to every other because you couldn't afford it, but, I might be thinking of someone else. What was this t's reasoning for not working with you weekly? Did he respond to your email?

Wishing you the best as you move forward with next course of action.

[Erebos]

I suspect that hope is always going to find problems until she settles in.
There are any number of reasons he may have offered you a once fortnightly slot. Including thinking you weren't interested, once you began cancelling. Not to mention the fact you took the fortnightly appointment he offered instead of refusing point blank and insisting On your weekly slot as originally agreed.

He may even have started another client around the same time as you with fortnightly slots and there been a mix up at reception. There are any number of reasons.
But without asking you won't ever know.
You have this habit of self sabotaging between appointments. Which is sad and worrying as you said there weren't many options last time you were looking for a T.

Obviously if your unhappy your best to move on, I really hope you find someone better suited to your needs.
All the best Hope, and take care.