[thesnowqueen]

When I talk about things that get me down, my eyes run. So, they do that a lot during session. And when I think about some things, even on my own, the same thing happens. Basically I cry 'soundlessly'. Last session something odd happened. My eyes were already streaming continuously but suddenly my throat got sore and sort of choked up and it felt 'dangerous' to continue. I mentioned my throat at the time but wasn't sure what it meant. I wonder now whether I might have started 'sobbing' if I continued, and this was the danger? Do others cry during session? And what kind of crying?

I cried during my very first visit to my pdoc. Kept asking me if I had any friends or family who cared about me. Nope. No friends; family treats me like s***. I started sobbing because I had never came to that realization before.

Also cried during one visit to my therapist (only one). I was severely depressed (maybe in a mixed state? don't remember) and I was being violent at home. Intentionally destroyed plenty of my belongings in a fit of rage. Therapist asked, "what was that thing you wanted to show me on your phone from last session?" Couldn't do that. Broke my phone out of rage. "You said you had it on your laptop too, right?" Nope, broke my laptop. Out came the waterworks

[thesnowqueen]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I cried during my very first visit to my pdoc. Kept asking me if I had any friends or family who cared about me. Nope. No friends; family treats me like s***. I started sobbing because I had never came to that realization before.

Also cried during one visit to my therapist (only one). I was severely depressed (maybe in a mixed state? don't remember) and I was being violent at home. Intentionally destroyed plenty of my belongings in a fit of rage. Therapist asked, "what was that thing you wanted to show me on your phone from last session?" Couldn't do that. Broke my phone out of rage. "You said you had it on your laptop too, right?" Nope, broke my laptop. Out came the waterworks

Just wanting to give you a ginormous hug

[Argonautomobile]

This topic made me think of all the synonyms for "cry," and the subtle differences in tone between them: weep, cry, sob, snivel, Ugly Cry, etc.

There's lots of different kinds of crying. I've done them all, in therapy and elsewhere, but not enough to really say if particular emotional states accompany particular types of crying. They must, though.

One doesn't "snivel" with joy, after all.

Anyway, I've experienced both the silent eye-leaking weep and the sore throat/choked-up feeling. For me, the latter is usually a sign that the Ugly Cry is coming if I don't buck up.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I cry sometimes. Mostly at home at night when I'm all alone. But I have cried with my T and ex-Pdoc. I don't cry often anymore because of my meds. I don't remember why I've cried in therapy. I'm sure I cried a ton over ex-T. I also cried when T told me ex-Pdoc was going to be leaving. I think I cried when T first brought up reducing. But I really haven't cried over my past. I've already processed it enough that it doesn't hurt that bad. Most of my crying is either just tears or quiet sobbing.

[growlycat]

I've gotten teary in session but Ugly Crying scares me. On the few occasions I have ugly cried, I feel out of control and kind of scared. But if t handled it well and is comforting then I sometimes feel out of control in a good way, that t is there to catch me if I fall too far.

I had this same feeling a number of weeks ago after my mom went on an alchoholic bender while visiting me. After she left I was exhausted drained and in so much pain. I choked back a sob as Kashi gave me a hug. I felt out of control
but safe with him. It felt like it was from a very young place. Like a parent picking you up while you are in mid tantrum. Part of me wants to ugly cry to get it all out but my dignity usually says "nope. Not on my watch."

[thesnowqueen]

I've not heard the term ugly cry before. I think this might be what I mean by sob - very audible and heaving from the chest?

[growlycat]

... Often involving snot bubbles. You get the idea

[rainbow8]

I've never cried, not once, in all my years of therapy with 5 different Ts. I want to but can't. As soon as I'm out the door I can cry, and at home by myself. Sometimes my T asks me what the tears would say if I could let them come down. I think it's my inhibitions, something I grew up with, not "letting go" with other people.

Early on, I never cried in session. The last time through I cried quite a bit. Yup, sometimes way too much snot and tears. But my therapist seemed to take it all in stride.

[WrkNPrgress]

I've outright bawled, maybe twice. I don't cry easily and not ever in front of others. when I do, it's big ugly cries . So both times it was big thing.

[stopdog]

I have never cried at, with or near a therapist.
I rarely cry in general and would never do it around the woman.
But many people seem to do so

[captgut]

I cried during our first session. And that's all
I want, but I can't

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I'm dealing with having to put my 2 cats to sleep weeks apart and really struggling with grieving. I don't feel safe crying anywhere but my therapist's office and then it takes reminders I'm safe and it's ok to do it.

I had not cried at all in the 2 weeks since my 2nd cat died and then really cried a lot with him. I went through an enormous number of tissues but my nose was completely blocked up and when I swallowed my ears popped really painfully. He looked worried and asked what happened. I thought it was because I had winced; he had actually heard my ears pop from clear across the room.

I've cried the last 3 weeks but when the grief is a bit lighter I will go a long time without crying again. I honestly have come to look forward to days that I can go in and let him know I need help to cry. Sometimes my meds make me numb, sometimes it's PTSD, but it's so much easier when I have reminders it's all ok to cry.

[bounceback]

It took me many years to be able to cry in session. I would talk about painful feelings for years and feel nothing. I was emotionally numb for about the first 5 years of therapy and then I got a therapist who was very thorough. She helped me get to the inner layer. Once I started being able to feel and cry in sessions it was like I always did and never stopped. I have had all kinds of crying mostly silent crying but also hysterical crying. I have experienced a few deaths in my family while in therapy also and feelings around grief brought up all kinds of pain and tears. Growing up I was taught it was stupid to cry. Most of the times when I would start crying I would get mad at myself for being weak also I would wave my hands in front of my face to try and turn them off. Now i know tears are a sign of strength. It takes courage to be that vulnerable with someone.

[iheartjacques]

I've done the ugly cry a few times. Most of the time I hate crying because I get snotty.

[thesnowqueen]

Thanks for the different accounts and experiences everyone. The ability to cry at all seems like quite a victory to many. When I started therapy 16 years ago I had been in a psychotic depression for some months and had got to the point where my eyes would start running just about anywhere and anytime. My nose starts to run also sometimes, but I don't remember sobbing or 'ugly crying' in the presence of anyone - even a T. I guess I learned to 'silence' it fairly early.

[SoConfused623]

Unfortunately, I'm very sensitive and I cry very easily! I have cried several times in session which I guess would be called sobbing. I have cried twice in front of my boss, kind of a hysterical type of cry out of frustration about my job. I cried the other day when I felt so bad for something that didn't go right for my niece. I cry at home a lot. I cried the other day in a class I was taking because we were watching something very inspiring about a miracle that happened. That was more like a silent cry with tears but no sobbing. I am just a big cry baby! This is on my list of things to talk about with my T.

[junkDNA]

I've "ugly cried" numerous times in front of my T. Most of the time I'm just silently crying tho

[rockabyebaby]

I'm very emotional and almost anything can make me tear up. I cry in every session with T. Sometimes it's just a few tears or it could be a sob or ugly cry. Every spectrum of the term cry will make an appearance at one point. It's embarrassing for me but I've leaned to accept it.

[Daisy Dead Petals]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I'm dealing with having to put my 2 cats to sleep weeks apart and really struggling with grieving. I don't feel safe crying anywhere but my therapist's office and then it takes reminders I'm safe and it's ok to do it.

I'm so sorry about your kitties. Losing pets is so difficult.

[lucozader]

I'm definitely a big crier. With my last T I once spent the whole fifty minutes just sobbing. I guess I really needed it.

There's rarely a session in which I don't cry at least a little bit - often it's quiet, just tears rolling down my face whilst I talk. Sometimes it's a lot messier.

ETA: Snowqueen, it really strikes me that you seem to be detached from your tears, the way you describe them as your "eyes running". Like it's just a physical thing...

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by Daisy Dead Petals

I'm so sorry about your kitties. Losing pets is so difficult.

Thank you. It has been really hard.

[MessyD]

I have never cried in session. At the beginning of my therapy my eyes got watery and to my surprise my therapist noticed right away. Few sessions Later he said that it would be beneficial for me to cry and I think my councioussness and unconsciousness went Hell no! Not gonna happen! And I actually didn't even cry alone, turned out it might have also been because of depression and being numb. Now, about a year later, I learned to somewhat trust the guy since he has been pretty awesome, and now I wish I could cry with him, and we talked about it few times, but every time I get close I just freeze, I know he can see it but I just can't let go, I stop feeling and start thinking and that's it. I think I worry it would start with a tear and end with big ugly cry

[MessyD]

Oh, and closest I got was when my cat died, but i felt so guilty that I couldn't feel grief