[passionfruit3]

I just was wondering if anybody heard of there therapist do this and what they did about it.so in the last two weeks my therapist has been going online and at first she was showing me clothes on a site for herself.asking me what would look nice on her and stuff we spent that whole hour talking about that I was so bored.and today she askes me how I'm doing and I start then she goes and interrupts and says I'm sorry what brand is your purse and I'm like I don't know. And she's like check inside.and I'm like it came from the flea market.and from there it got crazy we started looking at girls dyeing there hair which I wanted to do but still then we went to look at clothes and shes like pointing dresses and pants out to me saying I should get my eye brows done.im about ready to run out of the office.finally someone knocks on the door and it's another therapist to tell her they have lunch.she says we can focus now on hygiene instead of self harm cause I look like I'm doing better.what she missed last session I was trying to tell her but she clearly didn't pay attention I tried to buy pills online but my mother caught me and I told the truth so how am I doing better?I don't know what to do ?cause words often get trapped in me or don't come out the way I want to say them.

[Nammu]

Sounds like she is trying to use distraction to distract you from your issues? Can you try writing a letter that this is not helpful and you are not feeling better. Maybe ask if you can see someone else?

None of that sounds right or ok. You are not at a slumber party, you're in therapy....I can't even imagine! I would feel weird about all that too. Is she like the chick in single white female looking to copy your style right down to your purse? I don't know, maybe Nammu is right and she's just trying to peak your interest and distract but perhaps telling you she's doing so would be more comforting.

My therapist tried to sell me on a mood charting App that cost over a hundred dollars...for an app! I suspected she might hold stock in the app developers or something. Letting this therapist know of your concerns seems critical. Good luck.

[Hairball]

U are paying her good money to listen to you, not talk about herself. Remind her of that fact.

Leave her, and find someone who'll listen to you better

[WrkNPrgress]

Wow. NO.
"bored" is the key word here. I had a therapist for a short time that tended to end up chatting about her own interests. I left her. Any time you get that bored feeling listening to someone who is paid to listen to you - Leave. Get a new therapist.

A therapist's attention and time should be spent LISTENING and responding TO THE CLIENT. Period. The therapist should NEVER make the session or the conversation within that session about THEM.

For the first two years of my sessions, my current (good) therapist never brought up her own life and never her own opinion except in very sparing instances when it was applicable to my situation— and every time she would parse it carefully and add "Is that okay to tell you?"

Furthermore, the phrase "You should..." alone is a red flag in this context, IMO. The therapist should also not be suggesting ways for you to change your appearance! they can compliment you on something, yes. Affirms your self-image, yes. The ultimate goal is self-acceptance! If you want to change something and need encouragement for that, yes, but suggesting something based on her own ideas of beauty? Oh, hell no.

She sounds utterly incompetent. Find a different therapist.

[lucozader]

That... doesn't sound like therapy at all to me.

This would make me run in the opposite direction (I'm not someone very interested in discussing fashion with others) but had an experience with my last T that was a bit similar. That T and I had many similar interests and both of us have reading as one of our favorite activities; we figured we liked many of the same topics, authors etc. So naturally, when these came up, we often got excited and would engage in passionate discussions that could be very enjoyable but not therapy for me even if we relate it to psychology. He also liked to share his own experiences as they related to mine and I loved that but sometimes it would take too much space. I had to remind him of this quite a few times and in the end just decided not to engage at all and keep the focus on what I was paying him for.

Gosh that isn't right .. you are paying her to help you with your issues and the focus should be on you .. I would find a new therapist

[passionfruit3]

Originally Posted by Xynesthesia

This would make me run in the opposite direction (I'm not someone very interested in discussing fashion with others) but had an experience with my last T that was a bit similar. That T and I had many similar interests and both of us have reading as one of our favorite activities; we figured we liked many of the same topics, authors etc. So naturally, when these came up, we often got excited and would engage in passionate discussions that could be very enjoyable but not therapy for me even if we relate it to psychology. He also liked to share his own experiences as they related to mine and I loved that but sometimes it would take too much space. I had to remind him of this quite a few times and in the end just decided not to engage at all and keep the focus on what I was paying him for.

I know i need to speak up when it comes to my therapist.i don't want to get rid of her.but i find speaking up for myself hard.im sure she wouldnt get mad if i told her what was on my mind.i just am not able to cause the words dont come easily.

Originally Posted by passionfruit3

I know i need to speak up when it comes to my therapist.i don't want to get rid of her.but i find speaking up for myself hard.im sure she wouldnt get mad if i told her what was on my mind.i just am not able to cause the words dont come easily.

But this isn't therapy. You are wasting time and money here, and you need much more professional help.

[Wonderfalls]

I agree with the others. That isn't therapy in any sense of the word. Quit paying for this. I wouldn't spend my time that way for free.