New T not managing our time very well..

So I recently started seeing a new T and had a session today at 415pm. I just think that is a weird start time for a session...my sessions over the years have always started on the hour and I know that when it's 10 minutes to the next hour that my time is up.

So today, I did a time check and asked how much time we had left and she said "16 minutes" and I was slightly taken aback by the precision of it as if a bell was going to ring and we'd have to end mid-sentence. I was mildly annoyed but just made a joke out of it.

For some reason, there is only one clock and I have to be a contortionist to see it as it's sort of hidden behind a lamp, so I make a mental note that she will track the time and I needn't worry since she's got it down to the minute.

So it feels like 45/50 minutes have passed and I said something like, "Next time, I'd like to talk about one of my sisters" and she asks me a question about it, so I answer it very broadly thinkng that she just wants the headline or highlight. So then she asks me another question and I answer that one. And then she asks me more questions and now we are off! We are completely discussing my sister and she's really interested and keeps asking questions. I think to myself, "wow we have got to be over time!" but I don't say anything because we are right in the middle of my situation and I figure that it's her responsibility to manage time since she is the only one that can see the clock easily.

I probably should have said something but didn't and all of a sudden she looks at the clock and we had gone a full 15 minutes over our time! She looked bewildered over how the time could have flown by and I just shrug my shoulders and remind her that I can't see the clock to which she completely agreed. She wasn't trying to blame me or anything.

It then dawned on me that she could have another client after me and she confirms that she does. Now I feel bad and am thinking that this client is going to be annoyed with me. But, when I left, there was no one in the waiting room so I have no idea what happened.

I get home and start to think that next week she's going to subtract the 15 minutes to make up for the overage and email her saying that it's fine with me if she bills the insurance company for an hour and that I'd prefer that to having a shorter session next week. She wrote back, "They are now allowing us to bill for sessions as long s 53-60 minutes, so no worries. I would never subtract from future sessions as it is my responsibility to manage the time during our sessions."

Just thought that I'd share this slightly humorous story. Curious if others would have mentioned the time or not?

There are like a bazillion clocks in my purview in my T's office, though I try not to look at them, bc it only makes me more anxious. Now that I am the last client of the day, and she generally gets a ride with her H after I leave, she is pretty conscious of the time. Though she does have lax time boundaries.

I usually have my bag in hand five minutes before time is up (going by my watch). CW doesn't seem a real stickler for finishing on the dot. In fact, I think that the more obviously anxious I am to leave, the more any therapist is determined to keep me there.

I didn't encounter 15 minutes after the hour appointments until I started using insurance (45 minute appointments are what they cover). Makes me think of a line in "The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie," about how people who make quarter-hour appointments are trying to intimidate whoever they're meeting with.

My T is pretty good at managing time. She sometimes will talk a little too much and then realize at the end of session that I haven't gotten to talk as much as she wanted. I don't mind, I like just listening, but she wants me to talk more. But in general she's good at wrapping it up right on the hour.

My T is good at managing time but so am I. I'm always aware of what time it is.

My t generally manages time.. I every once in a while I will see him glance at the clock too. I will as well just so I have a general idea of how much time has gone by.

My t is terrible at actually being in time. My appointments start about 20-30 mins later than what they are scheduled. T and I talked about that last week because he called and asked if I could come in an hour earlier on the day of my appointment. I agreed and thought, great he will be on time today. Nope! He made a comment that perhaps he should of kept me at my regular time. And apologies and says he doesn't like to let his clients Goni till he feels ready the session ready to be wrapped up. Sometimes that means ending early, other times that means going over.

in the early days i would let my T go on as long as he wanted. i knew it was way over time. my T has less time now because of his job change.. i know when to wrap it up

With me, it varies. T1 has two offices, the one I usually go to I can't see a clock. I figure it's up to him to keep us on time. Usually we do 60 min, occasionally a few minutes less. More often over. Sometimes he has clients waiting-but since I can't see the clock, I don't know if they are early.

T2 has gone over once, I think. Maybe a couple of times. But she usually does 60 min sessions.

T3. Well. Never starts on time and is always at least an hour, usually more. Tonight I had an 8:30 appointment. We probably started after 9. I walked out at 10:23. It's just how she rolls. She wanted me to be her last appt of the day so we can go longer. But even when I was her first appt of the day we would start late. If she wasn't good at what she does...But she is.

My T keeps track of the time. There's no clock in my view. She always ends on time. To her, 5 mins over is late. I like that she's so punctual.

Group T however.... Well, it was my first time last week. We started 10mins late and we ended half hour late. My fiance was waiting for me in the car. He kept texting and even called to check up on me. I felt bad. But I told him what did he want me to do...one of the women was crying. I can't be like "Hold the tears please. I have to take this call". I may not go back just because of the time issue.

My T keeps track of the time. I always wear a watch but I never look at it during my session and I appreciate knowing that I don't have to worry about the time. Most of the time my sessions last about 10 mn more than they should, a few times when I was talking about something very difficult they lasted twice the time they should have. I felt really bad for the person waiting after my appointment, but my T said I didn't have to worry about it, that he was the one responsible for it. It's good to just go in there and forget about the outside world. Most of the time I can sense when a session is going to end, by a change in his tone, or when he just sit back up instead of lying in his chair. End of the session is also the time when he talks the most, he lets me do the talking (or at least try as I'm very silent) and then he talks, he explains things to me or develops things I've said and tells me what I need to work on sometimes.
I don't think it would be fair for your T to substract those 15 minutes as it wasn't your decision to go over time and in my opinion keeping track of the time is the T's job, not ours.

I'm actually kind of jealous that you got an extra 15 mins with your T. My T always starts and ends sessions on time. Last session I was about 10 mins late and T didn't give me any extra time. I know it is my fault I was late and I shouldn't expect T to make up for my lateness but it still makes me upset.

My time is at 15 minutes past too. It used to be on the hour but he asked to move it because he needed more time between the two appointments. Personally I'm glad he doesn't rush himself and takes the time he needs.
I manage time. My T has a clock in my view and I moan at him when it's out of sync with the other clock in the room (it's a wind up clock). I stop when the hour is up. If there was no clock in my view I would probably either ask for one or take a watch.
As for going over, that is on her. T1 used to do that often, but personally I like fixed times better because I know where I stand and how to pace the session.
Also, don't worry about the other client, she probably leaves large time gaps between sessions, which I personally take as an indicator of good self-care.

my t has a clock facing her . she use to have a clock on her desk that i could see and would get ready to leave when my time was up .she would tell me that it is her job to keep tract of the time .now the clock is facing away from me when i get there

If the woman did not have a clock I could see, I would simply use my watch. I gauge 50 minutes by the clock on her table and stand up and leave when the 50 minutes are up. More time or not at the end coming from the whim of the therapist would not work for me.

Super bizarre!

XT-had one clock I could see up on the wall and one clock she could see up on the wall. She was never really stickler for time, but I would get mad when she would come in 10 minutes late and announce she needed to stop on time. During one of the last few times I saw her when she did that...I said...well, I was in your waiting room for 10 minutes so if you weren't back there chit chatting with your T buddies maybe you would've noticed I was here on time! She really didn't know what to say to that and her eyes widened. I'm glad you emailed the T and the acknowledged it.

Sometimes sessions go over. I don't think that is particularly unusual. It happens. That is one reason I was never really bothered if my sessions started a few minutes late. On occasion my own sessions ran over so it seems perfectly normal that might happen for other clients also. (I'm pretty laid back about session start times within about 15 minutes give or take.) Sounds like she handles it well actually. She knows it is her responsibility, not yours. That 16 minute thing seems normal to me, particularly if she was looking at an analog clock. I'm a teacher and think in terms of precise minutes when I glance at the analog clock on my wall.

My first therapist was super punctual, always starting and ending right on time. The second one was sometimes a couple minutes late starting but routinely went ~10 mins over the officially 45 minute sessions.

If it's bothersome, I would discuss time management and its meaning with the T. I did with the one who was not so strict about it and it was interesting. He said that he gauged it individually, some clients struggle to even fill the 45 mins and he tends to give extra to people like me who are very talkative in session and obviously enjoy the interaction. He even used the term "special treatment" for it, which I did not like because I don't want to be special to a therapist and don't like discrimination in a professional context. Yet I always took the extra time he offered as I did enjoy it. I also told him that quite likely if he gives extra time occasionally, but not other times, some people that are sensitive to this might interpret his withdrawing the extra negatively.

My first, very punctual, T told me once without my asking that he thought professionals who often go over the time with clients (we were talking about how I handle my students) may give out mixed signals that some people people interpret as a sign of more than professional interest. I don't feel that way about it but can imagine it's true for some.

I think if a T was very erratic about time management, I would definitely comment on it and would do it myself. I would also be bothered if my T often started me late because of another client before me, or because he needed time between clients. Or, if I knew that another client was waiting outside and the T gave me more time and took from theirs.

I would have said something as I don't like going over. I had one t who went over all the time and I finally started stopping her, mid sentence if I had to, so I could get out on time. I had another t who always went over with everyone which meant my session always started late. I would give her 15 minutes, but at the 15 minute mark, if she wasn't in the waiting room to get me, I'd leave. I think it's rude. T didn't think it was a problem bc she'd always give me the same amount of time even if she got started late, but I have things to do too and couldn't stay over.

If I couldn't see a clock, which with one t I couldn't, I'd ask them to move it so I could (which this t did do for me) or I'd wear my watch. I don't like leaving it up to someone else to tell me when time is up. If it's getting close, I like to know so I don't get into something that would need more time than I had.