Ex-T called me a b***h twice! Hurting. :(

I am in agreement, that taking a break would be a sensible idea. You seem far to focused on your old psych, to gain anything useful from trying another and another and another.
A lot like when you break up from an intense relationship you need time out to heal and put your house in order, to decide what you really want from a relationship.
Your rebounding from New to old, and until that desire to seek out your old T wears off I think you will keep sabotaging these relationships with any new T.
Your old T was a fantasy, he wasn't real, therefore no-one can live up to that expectation.
I wish you all the best. Take care and be gentle with yourself.

Perfectly stated! Thank you.

Believe it or not, but I am glad that interaction happened because it put me in a place where I feel that I can finally move on. It is unfortunate that it took such a painful interaction to get me there, but I'm there.

Excellent thoughts. That is very true!

I am going to at least go in on the 26th to talk to T. I'm going to explain my fears of rejection and abandonment and I believe that's why I couldn't make it work with any of the past Ts that I tried. I'm going to apologize for pushing him away and ask him if he's still willing to work with me.

So sorry to hear that, that is so unethical. You probably could report her/him if you wanted to.

Hope, I disagree with those who suggest you might consider dropping therapy. I don't know where you've been in the past, but possibly you'd do better with a therapy situation that was more frequent, since you seem to need more contact than you're getting. And possibly a therapy situation that is more populated, so that you are less dependent on one person for support.

When you go on the 26th, perhaps your therapist would have ideas for a day program, or group therapy options, or support group, to supplement your individual therapy?

Hope, if you have OCD, ruminating and contacting him may be due to it. Having said that seeking reassurance from your new therapist and your former psychiatrist (by contacting him) would be the compulsive portion of OCD.

I know it can be really hard to deal with; it would be like trying to fight an addiction.

Anyway, Behavioral therapy might be worth trying. You could also read and follow the steps in the book called, "Brainlock." It is by Jeffrey Schwartz. It is for people whom suffer from OCD. You may find it helpful.