Boundaries???

SKkip ahead for the real question lol

Hey guys, so I'm in therapy (I've only been in therapy for about 3 months now) and I'm still have a lot of trouble opening up to my T. She's super sweet and friendly and warm but I'm incredibly intimidated by her because she seems like such a successful, healthy and athletic person. Sometimes (most of the time) I feel bad about myself and I'm even more embarrassed to actually get to the nitty gritty of my actual problems that I keep getting scared and just talk about things that honestly don't really even bother me. I'm also worried that if I talk about certain things it'll cross certain boundaries, and I'm really bad at actually saying what's on my mind. I haven't really touched on my self esteem and eating issues, or have played them off as more of a trait of my OCD rather than an actual eating problem or because of how bad I fee about myself. I'm too scared that she'll tell my doctor what I say and that they'll end up teaming up on me or something.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, how far CAN you go with your T? Am I allowed to ask her questions about her?? How far is too far with the information you tell your T??

I tell my t anything and everything. we talk easily about amy subject.
i ask her a lot of questions about herself, and she always answers. sometimes she is vague, but still answers somehow.

I have been in therapy for almost a year and I am just beginning to open up. Although some of the conversations we have had I am glad she is sworn to secrecy. Be kind to yourself it will come out whenever the time is right.

You are allowed to ask questions about her but she may not answer them but don't be disappointed because she may just be a private person.

I always go into my sessions thinking I'm going to bring something up but once I'm there I can never get it out. So we talk about school, or weird little habits I have and ignore the more serious things like suicidal ideations and past attempts or other "darker" subjects. It's frustrating because I'm scared she thinks I'm there for no reason when I know I have a reason to be there but I just can't get it out.

In my experience with current t, the relationship between her & i has been central to my healing. and that therapeutic relationship takes time to develop... 3 months isn't a long time, be kind to yourself and know that you will be able to talk when you're ready. I doubt your t is frustrated... they know it takes time.

For me, as long as I have a t I get along with and trust, there are few limits. I am really nosy about t's personal life. I can ask questions but he can reserve the right not to answer. But so far he's answered everything.

I've been seeing current t for less than a year so I have more to tell him. I've touched upon the darker stuff but nothing in depth yet. It takes time to unfold naturally

I don't think there are any limits on what you can tell your t. Obviously if they think you might harm yourself or others, they have to act. But ts hear all kinds of stuff from all kinds of people. If your t has experience in the field, they have heard about SI and attempts and abuse and shame and sex and love and fear and anxiety and depression and horrible parents and more.

I'm pretty sure your t knows that you are working toward bringing up the "real" reason(s) you are there. It is very common for people to feel like they need to build a relationship before they can say painful stuff.

For me, there are things that are hard to talk about regardless of the length of time I have been seeing a t. I usually have to make myself talk about those hard things. Some people prefer to blurt stuff out and get it over with, others prefer to take it slowly.

I guess that would be the question I would ask myself. Do I want to speed up the process? If yes, then talk about the stuff I am avoiding. If I am ok with the speed things are going, then give myself permission to talk about minor issues.

What your T will answer varies a lot, but you can ask whatever you want. If it helps you open up to her, then by all means, go for it.

As to concern about her telling your Dr, your T legally can't discuss anything from therapy unless you pose a threat to yourself or someone else.

With my T, I can talk about pretty much anything. The only thing we don't talk about is her personal life. But we often talk about our relationship. Just ask your T if there's any topic off limits. You can use generic topics like eating disorder or sex or self-esteem. Whatever the topic may be. And unless you signed a consent that your T can talk to your doctor, then she can't communicate with them. If you did sign a consent, then tell your T you wish for it to remain confidential.

I can and have told my therapist everything, in fact it's almost impossible for me to keep anything from her I will go into a session thinking "don't tell her about that" and halfway through the session I'm blurting it out.

Asking her things is a completely different thing, questions about her are really off limits. I once asked her what her favorite color was, and she didn't respond, then she finally said in a somewhat puzzled tone "you really want to know don't you?"
I said "YES"
Then she said "well I always tell people it's green, I guess because of all of the shades it has" so never really sure if that was the real answer or not

I dont think anything is too far. I think it would be insightful for her. I think that telling her about you - nothing would be wrong.