[Bluebellacotta]

Hi,

I ask this because Ive been told this by a friend that their T would be like or act like their conscience?

Is this a normal or true statement

[atisketatasket]

Not for me.

I wouldn't say that was a therapist's role, either.

[stopdog]

I've never found anything to be normal when it comes to therapists. But people do seem to use them in all sorts of ways.
I would certainly never look to a therapist to become my conscience. To me that is utterly ridiculous.

[MobiusPsyche]

I hear T's voice saying things sometimes. Usually telling me I should be doing something I don't want to do. I don't consider this to relate to conscience, though, because these aren't matters of right and wrong. They're more like "hey you haven't been out of the house in two days, maybe you should go do something."

[Elio]

I wouldn't say she has or will become my conscience, I have found myself talking to others using phrases and communication styles that she has.

[velcro003]

I definitely don't see my T as my conscience, but sometimes I can hear her voice loud and clear, telling me something she said in session when I am about to do the opposite.

IE:

"Alcohol will always negate the effects of anti-depressants" as I pour another drink.

Okay...that is the only thing I can think of right now...as I am drinking

[Daeva]

I've had this happen to me, it's very useful. Conscience pertains to more than right or wrong to someone else, it also pertains to yourself. If you put yourself down, thats wrong and my T conscience would tell me not to and it's wrong and I shouldn't do that because of this and this.

Or even saying the word Should, which was a no-no word for us. There's tons of examples i can use but i think we all get the point.

[cinnamon_roll]

With former T, I'd quite often imagine in difficult situations outside of therapy what she might say to me now. Which was helpful. a bit like an "internalized presence" - but in a benevolent and positive way.

"Conscience" for me has more a connotation of feeling guilty, bad conscience if you like. With present T I keep having moments like that. I'm struggeling a lot with feelings of guilt and shame anyway. So having T's voice coming into the mix is not really helpful. At the moment I think there's a lot of negative transference (from my side) going on. So for now I take it as a sign that things are moving somehow and that I'm getting closer to the underlying feelings that cause me to view my T as the "bad conscience voice" sitting on my shoulder.

But I'm finding it tremendously difficult and upsetting to be dealing with those feelings. Bringing it up again and again is incredibly painful. And I feel so incredibly stupid and like an alien, because rationally I know that my T isn't scolding me when she says xyz, or makes a remark about something. But somehow my brain is hardwired to read those rather innocent remarks as her rebuking me, or reproaching me...

[lucozader]

No, I would never expect a T to be my conscience. Not sure exactly what your friend meant by it, but it seems to suggest that I would look to him for moral instruction - to tell me what's right and wrong? I can do that already just fine.

[skeksi]

Not so much my conscience as my inner voice.

But, when I think about it, he has changed the way I see "right" and "wrong." I used to judge myself a lot more harshly and categorize a lot of my inner workings as wrong or defective. I'm much more accepting of myself now. That's not conscience, exactly, though.

I guess not. I'm not even sure what that would look/feel like. My therapist doesn't do my thinking/feeling for me.

[cinnamon_roll]

Originally Posted by skeksi

Not so much my conscience as my inner voice.

But, when I think about it, he has changed the way I see "right" and "wrong." I used to judge myself a lot more harshly and categorize a lot of my inner workings as wrong or defective. I'm much more accepting of myself now. That's not conscience, exactly, though.

Yeah, it was/is a lot like that with former T...
It's a bit like the question what would I say to a good friend who is in my situation? Since I treat myself much more harshly than I would treat any friend... So telling myself what my T might tell me in certain situations helped/helps me to view/treat myself with more self-compassion.

[Bluebellacotta]

Hi there,

Thankyou for your replies. Its an odd question but I think when it was said to her. It was very much left to interpretation and its one i dont get. Im new to this and not many ppl i know have seen a T so its hard to know what is standard and not

But thankyou for your replies