T as Godmother

Waterbear · May 22, 2017, 03:39 PM

So I think I have finally realised how I see my T. I see her as a godmother figure. I never knew my Godparents, as my parents fell out of touch with them when I was very little. Thanks parents!

I see a godmother as someone that is there, but at a distance. Someone who is there when you need them and when you approach them, but who doesn't get 'involved' in your life. They know you well enough to support you but not well enough to advise you. They are rooting for you from the sidelines and really do want the best for you. They are someone that you can turn to when there doesn't seem like there is anyone else. Someone with life experience. Someone who can help you through life's troubles. Someone who can help you see a different perspective. Someone you can talk to about all of those things that you wouldn't talk to anyone else about.
Someone who won't judge you.

That's how I see a godmother, and that's how I see my T.

atisketatasket · May 22, 2017, 03:52 PM

I think many people have little to do with their godmothers. Kind of an underutilized resource, you're right.

Mine is my aunt. We only see each other on holidays.

May 22, 2017, 04:37 PM

I barely knew my godparents. My sisters would say the same. We just weren't in the same area to get to know each other. It's a nice thought, but perhaps a bit more of a fantasy than reality.

May 22, 2017, 06:15 PM

Yeah, I agree with ATAT. I, too, have nothing to do with my godparents.

Actually, I don't want anything to do with my godparents! My godfather is some guy named John and he has 7 (yes, seven) kids and all their names start with the letter Y. (Who the f_ck names their son "Yardley"???) He walks around knocking on people's doors asking if they want to convert to Christianity, and he hands them a free copy of the bible "to consider it". I am NOT joking.

I even told him politely that I'm not religious when he kept asking me when the last time I went to church was. He said, "do not worry. It is never too late to talk to the priest about your feelings. God bless." Then I got a bible in the mail 2 weeks later. :/

So I guess you never know what you're "missing"

atisketatasket · May 22, 2017, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Yeah, I agree with ATAT. I, too, have nothing to do with my godparents.

Actually, I don't want anything to do with my godparents! My godfather is some guy named John and he has 7 (yes, seven) kids and all their names start with the letter Y. (Who the f_ck names their son "Yardley"???) He walks around knocking on people's doors asking if they want to convert to Christianity, and he hands them a free copy of the bible "to consider it". I am NOT joking.

I even told him politely that I'm not religious when he kept asking me when the last time I went to church was. He said, "do not worry. It is never too late to talk to the priest about your feelings. God bless." Then I got a bible in the mail 2 weeks later. :/

So I guess you never know what you're "missing"

Actually I think the technical job of a godparent is to look after the godchild's spiritual side, especially if the parents fall down on the job. So, hey, yours is on the ball!

My uncle was my godfather. He cheated on my godmother aunt (this only came out because my seven-year-old cousin walked in on him having sex with someone not my aunt), they divorced, he died of alcoholism. Don't think my aunt goes to church much anymore either.

BayBrony · May 22, 2017, 08:12 PM

I don't even know who my godparents were....

stopdog · May 22, 2017, 08:44 PM

I have no idea who my godfather is I don't think my parents kept in touch with him. My godmother was my mother's best friend starting from junior high on. She is okay but not someone I really know nor do I talk to her or anything. She sends me a xmas card and I last saw her about 5 years ago at my remaining parent's house.

I see the therapist as more like the wicked witch of the west

ruh roh · May 22, 2017, 08:58 PM

I'm glad you're in a good place with your therapist, wb.

junkDNA · May 22, 2017, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BayBrony

I don't even know who my godparents were....

not everyone has godparents. isnt it a christian thing

BayBrony · May 22, 2017, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

not everyone has godparents. isnt it a christian thing

I was raised Catholic though so I must have had them. Maybe it was one if my aunts??

anais_anais · May 22, 2017, 09:26 PM

I think it's a christian thing

I don't have any. I remember asking my mom why, and that I wanted godparents, but she said we couldn't have any.

But if I had godparents I'd like them to be like my Ts. I guess they are sort of like that in function. They are the same ages as my biological parents and have known each other since high school and have jokingly referred to themselves together as my "therapy parents"

Waterbear · May 23, 2017, 01:05 AM

Of course it is a fantasy. It is, in my mind, what would be the case in a ideal world. I forgot about the obvious main part, the religious aspect, but to me personally, that but isn't as important.

I am in a good place with my T, thank you, except that I can't be that open, vulnerable, free flowing with her. I think I am trying to find ways of thinking that will help, because I want to be able to be that way.

It was only in my darkest times that I would have wanted someone to reach out to, because I felt that there was nobody. Each possible person had reasons attached why I could not, and if I had known my Godparents then maybe I would have had someone, because I might have seen it as their responsibility. One they accepted years before.