Do you ever struggle to articulate your feelings to your T?

Elio · May 13, 2017, 09:48 PM

Sometimes there are just crickets (like, I'm supposed to be feeling something), sometimes there are too many different things I'm feeling to give them words, sometimes I don't want to say what I am thinking so I don't want to talk at all to answer her questions.

She does accept I don't know or I can't find the right word for it. And she acknowledges that sometimes there might not be words for it or that words are sometimes hard to find.

Quote:

"I feel like a cucumber."

She accepts all kinds of things as feelings so she would accept this statement...granted she'd follow that up with .. what is that like for you?

annielovesbacon · May 13, 2017, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaleidoscopeheart

All. The. Time.

I told T that I am fine until I get into his office and suddenly I forget what words are and can't seem to articulate what is in my head. It's sooooo frustrating. I have started writing about what I need to talk about, usually as though it is a character in a story, and bringing that along. I also text myself thoughts and feelings throughout the week so that helps some too. I still end up saying "I don't know" A LOT and, sadly, he is no longer accepting that as an answer.... at least until I get frustrated. Then he backs off.

I do the same thing. And sometimes T is right, I say "I don't know" when really I just don't want to answer. So it's good that she pushes me to answer because that's helpful in the long run. But sometimes, I really do not know!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Argonautomobile

I've found this useful, too. I thought I had a good emotional vocabulary until I went to therapy and started saying things like "I feel like a cucumber."

Spending some time looking at a feelings wheel helped.

Lol, the cucumber thing is so relatable -- yesterday I told my T I felt like a pizza drifting in the ocean. She looked at me like I was crazy but nodded and accepted that as an answer

annielovesbacon · May 13, 2017, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Oh yes, I can really relate to this. T used to get very frustrated at me. She would give me a menu of feelings of which I had to pick a few. She would say I can't help you if I don't know what you are feeling and that used to make me more distressed.
I find writing in a journal a great way of expressing myself because I am a better writer than speaker. In my head thoughts are easy to understand but expressing them is frustrating and people often don't understand me especially ex t. New t is better with this and has often said, maybe there are no words. She gives me lots of time to sit with the feelings. She has often brought out toys, art materials and clay I get so excited that I end up not using them.
I find the words will come when they are ready to leave you rather than being forced out.

I agree with your very last sentence. Sometimes, if I sit there awhile and think, I can come up with an answer. But when T asks a question, I feel pressure (from myself, not from her) to answer right away. So maybe if I practice letting myself sit there and answer when I'm ready, that will help.

Sarmas · May 13, 2017, 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by annielovesbacon

I get so frustrated with myself (and I worry my T gets frustrated with me, too) because I can never express how I feel. I feel like a little kid or maybe someone who can't speak the language -- it seems like the only words I have are "bad" or "okay" or "I don't know." She presses me to explain, and it's so hard.
The thing is, I know conceptually how I feel. But I don't have words for the feelings! I want to tell her that I am feeling [feeling], but I literally do not know how.
Does anyone else struggle with this? Can I get past this? I feel so dumb and frustrated.

I struggle with this all of the time. Sometimes I give up and just don't say anything. I suppress lots of things and sometimes I don't realize that I do. When I try to explain myself I think to myself that it will sound stupid so I don't say anything. I find myself at a loss for words.

Perhaps you can try to prepare prior to your season and find the words then in order to be able to communicate and be able to express yourself in session.

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Do you ever struggle to articulate your feelings to your T?

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