[slbest]

Hi there! I am need of some advice! I have been in individual psychotherapy for a total of 9 years with different therapists. I have been with my current one for a little less than a year. At the beginning he was great (or so it seemed). Now I am not feeling much of a difference from my sessions with him. I can't quite put my finger on what I am feeling. Has anyone her experienced this? I feel like I have tons of buried feelings and traumas I need to work on but can't seem to get myself to open up anymore when the session comes around reach week! Feedback and your experiences would be appreciated!! I feel like I am at a total loss as to what to do!

[Out There]

Have you considered a trauma specialist if your T is not one ? Sometimes we need a multidisciplinary approach , I work with two T's for different aspects. Or , hey T I want to try to get into this trauma - maybe he's waiting for an opening ?

[Elio]

I found weekly sessions allowed me to rebuild my walls. Have you ever done more frequent sessions?

Can you open up with yourself through using a journal?

[slbest]

Originally Posted by Elio

I found weekly sessions allowed me to rebuild my walls. Have you ever done more frequent sessions?

Can you open up with yourself through using a journal?

Hmmm. So your saying more frequent sessions helped you? At the very beginning I was seeing my current therapist 2x a week for a bout the first 2 months but then stopped because I couldn't afford it! Interesting thought though!

[slbest]

Originally Posted by Out There

Have you considered a trauma specialist if your T is not one ? Sometimes we need a multidisciplinary approach , I work with two T's for different aspects. Or , hey T I want to try to get into this trauma - maybe he's waiting for an opening ?

Thats a thought! I have always been curious about EMDR. Have you tried that before?

[guilloche]

Originally Posted by slbest

At the beginning he was great (or so it seemed). Now I am not feeling much of a difference from my sessions with him. [snip]... feel like I have tons of buried feelings and traumas I need to work on but can't seem to get myself to open up anymore when the session comes around reach week!

Have you tried talking to him about this? Is he the type of T that would be receptive to looking at what's going on between you guys, in the room?

How "safe" do you feel? What you said about not being able to open up about the traumas could be a safety thing (it is for me). How long have you been seeing him - less than a year? Do you feel comfortable talking to him? Do you feel like you can trust him to not judge you, to be on your side, to respect you/your boundaries/your confidence?

If you like him, and he seems to be good/qualified - I'd try talking to him about it. Maybe you can figure out what the missing piece is that you need?

Good luck.

[slbest]

Originally Posted by guilloche

Have you tried talking to him about this? Is he the type of T that would be receptive to looking at what's going on between you guys, in the room?

How "safe" do you feel? What you said about not being able to open up about the traumas could be a safety thing (it is for me). How long have you been seeing him - less than a year? Do you feel comfortable talking to him? Do you feel like you can trust him to not judge you, to be on your side, to respect you/your boundaries/your confidence?

If you like him, and he seems to be good/qualified - I'd try talking to him about it. Maybe you can figure out what the missing piece is that you need?

Good luck.

Thanks for your reply! Yes he is very open and receptive to talking about our therapy relationship. I have brought a person of this issue up with him before and I didn't really feel we got anywhere with it. I do feel comfortable talking to him (or so I thought)

[Elio]

Originally Posted by slbest

Hmmm. So your saying more frequent sessions helped you? At the very beginning I was seeing my current therapist 2x a week for a bout the first 2 months but then stopped because I couldn't afford it! Interesting thought though!

Yes, I think it helped because I still feel open to her on the second visit of the week. I see her M and W. So come Wen I'm still feeling pretty open to her. On Monday, I have just started to block her little. After a few weeks/months, I pretty much am an open book all the time to her. Sometimes though it feels like we are moving too fast. Another advantage of the 2 times a week is that I can feel like it is ok to take a session here and there to be nothing but surface talk and bonding stuff.

[guilloche]

Given you're feeling pretty comfortable with him, and he's open to talking about things... I think I'd (personally, just me!) stick it out a bit and keep talking.

It would likely be easier if you knew what was causing the problem (like, if there was something specific you could point to - i.e. "T, it's hard to open up when you keep interrupting me - it makes me feel shut down and less likely to talk at all!") - but it's not necessary (b/c we don't always know the problem).

Do you think it could be some sort of unconscious defense on your part? I've been thinking about psychoanalysis lately. I don't know a lot about it, but I believe a big part is that a lot of what we go through comes from our unconscious, and part of that is our unconscious helps "protect" us from bad feelings (like the type that might come up if you started to talk about past traumas)... one way it might do that is make you feel bored or "blah" with your therapist, as a way for you to quit therapy or think it's not helping... thus painful feelings successfully avoided!

(I've been thinking about this, b/c I'm starting to catch on that my unconscious is possibly quite clever, and very heavily defended! )

I might be way off though... just something to think about!

Did your T not have anything useful to say on the subject? Could you tell him you're feeling honestly confused by what's happening, and would like his help in figuring it out? I'd describe what you feel/notice, and ask him if he has any ideas/theories on what might be going on... Maybe directly tell him, "I'd like to do more work around some of my previous traumas... but here's what's getting in the way. What do you suggest for an approach?"

Just some more thoughts... I hope it works out for you!

[slbest]

Originally Posted by Elio

Yes, I think it helped because I still feel open to her on the second visit of the week. I see her M and W. So come Wen I'm still feeling pretty open to her. On Monday, I have just started to block her little. After a few weeks/months, I pretty much am an open book all the time to her. Sometimes though it feels like we are moving too fast. Another advantage of the 2 times a week is that I can feel like it is ok to take a session here and there to be nothing but surface talk and bonding stuff.

Oh wow! Really interesting! That really makes a lot of sense!!!

[Out There]

Originally Posted by slbest

Thats a thought! I have always been curious about EMDR. Have you tried that before?

Yes , I'm on my second round of EMDR and do well with it , helps enormously with the trauma.

[slbest]

Oh wow, no you're totally on target with what you're saying! I totally think it's a subconscious thing that I'm doing like you're saying. Somehow I just can't get to the core of things. I've heard of psychoanalysis but have never met or worked with a therapist that does it. I think I might look into it. And yeah I don't really know exactly what is going on so I might just bring up to my therapist that I'm not sure what issues I'm having and then that maybe would start the conversation?

Originally Posted by guilloche

Given you're feeling pretty comfortable with him, and he's open to talking about things... I think I'd (personally, just me!) stick it out a bit and keep talking.

It would likely be easier if you knew what was causing the problem (like, if there was something specific you could point to - i.e. "T, it's hard to open up when you keep interrupting me - it makes me feel shut down and less likely to talk at all!") - but it's not necessary (b/c we don't always know the problem).

Do you think it could be some sort of unconscious defense on your part? I've been thinking about psychoanalysis lately. I don't know a lot about it, but I believe a big part is that a lot of what we go through comes from our unconscious, and part of that is our unconscious helps "protect" us from bad feelings (like the type that might come up if you started to talk about past traumas)... one way it might do that is make you feel bored or "blah" with your therapist, as a way for you to quit therapy or think it's not helping... thus painful feelings successfully avoided!

(I've been thinking about this, b/c I'm starting to catch on that my unconscious is possibly quite clever, and very heavily defended! )

I might be way off though... just something to think about!

Did your T not have anything useful to say on the subject? Could you tell him you're feeling honestly confused by what's happening, and would like his help in figuring it out? I'd describe what you feel/notice, and ask him if he has any ideas/theories on what might be going on... Maybe directly tell him, "I'd like to do more work around some of my previous traumas... but here's what's getting in the way. What do you suggest for an approach?"

Just some more thoughts... I hope it works out for you!

[slbest]

Originally Posted by Out There

Yes , I'm on my second round of EMDR and do well with it , helps enormously with the trauma.

Oh wow! Didn't realize you're doing EMDR. I've read a lot about it but don't really know what it is. Would you mind describing it to me a bit?

[Out There]

The link is my favourite way to describe the bilateral stimulation that's experienced when using headphones in EMDR ( which I do ) , it's not EMDR music but it's close and pans across the brains hemispheres with the beat ( and people report it makes them feel good. . ). The main part of EMDR after preparation work is to target a traumatic incident , but the EMDR distracts and stimulates so the trauma isn't experienced at full force and can be processed. It will go to other connections and " clusters " of feelings and some connections are surprising. It's hard work like any trauma work is , but it's very worth it. My EMDR T is a consultant clinical psychologist with 10 years experience in EMDR.

[slbest]

Originally Posted by Out There

The link is my favourite way to describe the bilateral stimulation that's experienced when using headphones in EMDR ( which I do ) , it's not EMDR music but it's close and pans across the brains hemispheres with the beat ( and people report it makes them feel good. . ). The main part of EMDR after preparation work is to target a traumatic incident , but the EMDR distracts and stimulates so the trauma isn't experienced at full force and can be processed. It will go to other connections and " clusters " of feelings and some connections are surprising. It's hard work like any trauma work is , but it's very worth it. My EMDR T is a consultant clinical psychologist with 10 years experience in EMDR.

Interesting!!