Shocked that T "Knew"

So, in session this week I was telling T that there was something that I did but didn't want to talk about - it was too embarrassing and humiliating.

Then she asked, "Was it this?" ('this' meaning what it was about) She hit the
nail on the head.

I was stunned into silence and quickly changed the subject. But, boy, did it rattle me. It was like she was mind reading.

I guess when you've seen a T for more than 6 years they know you pretty well, but still...

Has this happened to anyone else - when the T 'guesses' your secret?

Today my t started to list off the big secret I always allude to. The first thing he said hit the nail on the head too so I just admitted it yes that is it. He seemed stunned that I actually opened up about it today. I was not planning on doing any big work today either.

Do you think you hinted around enough so it made it easy to guess?

No, but I've only gone for 8 weeks so far. However on week 2, he was like "you are a very agreeable person" and that kinda threw me, like I barely know you and I am quiet here and you know this already?

If you're talking about a general topic (e.g., kleptomania), I don't find it surprising at all. Certain issues cause certain symptoms in a client, plus they've probably seen it before in others.

If you're talking about something more specific (e.g., you rob banks), then it's probably something they've put together from interacting with you, and then maybe taken one final leap to arrive at.

I don't think any of us are as inscrutable as we like to think and wish.

Kleptomania = I look at current T's Coach handbag (it's a rather hideous beige, btw) surreptitiously?

Rob a bank = I display great knowledge of the varieties of ski masks + tunnels + street maps (my knowledge of bank robbery is entirely from B-grade movies)?

It has not happened to me. The woman cannot even guess correctly at the things I have directly told her.

Purses are too big for kleptomania. Rather, one is constantly picking up small objects, turning them over in one's hands, looking like one will put them in one's pocket, and then quickly, hastily putting them down.

And for bank robbery, your boyfriend or girlfriend looks like Warren Beatty or Faye Dunaway.

Actually, I didn't want to mention more triggering issues, and then I felt I needed to continue the theme.

My great uncle was a kleptomaniac. I only met him once because the only time he visited, he stole a silver candlestick holder.

Anyway

This happened to me once with M. I could sort of see how he could extrapolate based on certain habits and deficiencies and signs that I showed. But it was very specificly worded and shocking nonetheless.

my t does it quite often. i find it comforting as well as a bit freaky.

Never happened with my first therapist. Instead, he often misinterpreted me and my stories. With second T, there were many general things that he saw or guessed correctly, I think mostly due to a lot of similarities between the two of us, which he also brought up frequently. But nothing like guessing or knowing some big secret that I was trying to hide in general.

I experience this much more often with close friends that know me very well than any therapist, but I've never been with a T for years.

The first thing that popped into my mind was mirror neurons.

I'm not sure how many weeks ago that it happened, but I was trying to find a word to describe what I was feeling. I was straining to understand the feeling and the word to describe it.

It finally came to me and as I was saying the word, I looked at my counselor and he was saying the same thing.

Not sure if that's related to what you are saying.

It was pretty cool.

I don't believe I gave any hint - just that I did something I was ashamed about.

Oh no! What a terrible thought.

Not as of yet.

It has happened on occasion but I can't recall any specifics. It does feel kind of creepy.

Do therapists actually go around looking for their clients to have some sort of hidden secret? Are they hoping to be counseling a big time thief so they can be featured in a movie? This is very odd.

The only thing I can think of is that T knows when I look guilty it means I've been Googling her or crossing a boundary. I can't hide my feelings from her. I think T's who do SE or other type of mind/body work are very much attuned to subtle clues. Of course in my case, I have a very guilty look when I do something I want to hide.

Of course not. I'm the one who said I couldn't talk about it yet and she replied, "Is it about 'x'"? I confirmed it and then changed the subject.

She probably thinks that since I brought it up, I actually DO want to talk about it but don't yet have the courage.

I was just shocked that she zeroed in on what it was.

It kind of happened to me, but that is because I really exhibited a number symptoms that lead my t to believe I was abused in some way. So, it wasn't really all that hard.

T guessed one of my secrets, but I was taken off guard and denied it because I wasn't ready to talk about it. Now I regret it because I feel like I can't bring it up without admitting that I lied.

If you told him you denied it because you weren't ready to talk about it, I bet he would understand.