feeling exhausted with sharing

I feel so tired of sharing my personal life with strangers--my therapist, my lawyer, now this therapist I saw yesterday who will be our child specialist as we split up our marriage and households.

I met with her for four and a half hours yesterday. (I kind of lost track of the time and forgot to be mindful that this is costing a lot of money!) I liked her A LOT, but today I'm still feeling exhausted. I had to tell her really personal stuff. There is none of this holding back and waiting months to develop a relationship. I guess we spent about the first 2 hours developing our relationship, then got to some of the hard stuff. It was like developing a therapeutic relationship at warp speed. It was also interesting to realize how great and helpful she is and appreciate the value of a fresh set of eyes on a problem. (I am used to the eyes of my therapist of one year's time on some of these same problems, and a different perspective was helpful.)

I am just so tired of people knowing my personal life. This feeling is growing since yesterday and the experience of having to expose myself to her. Now I feel like I want to draw back from everyone, including my therapist. I feel like canceling our appointment next week. In our session earlier this week, I shared a dream with him that made me feel really vulnerable, and now I wish I hadn't. I'm just tired of sharing. I need some space and distance from everyone and to reclaim some of me for just me. Does that make sense?

Oh yes that makes sense! Do something nice for yourself today, and just enjoy who you are! ((()))

Yes, that makes lots of sense. Can you call and talk to your T and tell him how you feel and that you'd like to cancel and get his take/"okay"? I always feel better when I "warn" people I'm coming up on overload :-) instead of surprising them or leaving them in the dark for a bit.

(((((hugs))))))))) I know how you are feeling. Like your emotions are worn on your shirt and your life story is written on back. Maybe a break isn't a bad thing, my T says that as long as things are stable, a break now and then is a good thing.

Sunny if we knew each other, we could schedule a spa day together, I need one too...

Schedule one for yourself right now!

sunny, that sounds so intense and very very difficult.

Yes I can imagine after something so overwhelming as having to share such personal things with someone new would be so exhausting.

Time for yourself sounds like just what you would like and it's okay to do just what you like. That makes perfect sense and sound very self-caring and self-comforting.

Why not keep the appointment for now, knowing how feelings change; you can always cancel closer to the appointment time if you wish to.

Sunny, I'm sure that was an exhausting experience. Congratulation for taking the step to meet with her even though it was a challenge.

Thanks, everyone, for being so understanding. I felt like you all "got me." I will take the advice here and try to carve out some time for myself to take care of me.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I know how you are feeling. Like your emotions are worn on your shirt and your life story is written on back.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">confused, yes, that is it exactly. I think I need to go change my shirt to a brand new all white T-shirt -- a blank slate.

almedafan, I would love to go to the spa with you!

I will keep the appointment for now and cancel Monday if I am still feeling the same way.

I had some good news today at work that cheered me up. I have been working on a book with some colleagues dating back to 1999, and today we got back proofs of the cover from the publisher. It has taken us so long to finish this project, and to see my name as an author on the cover just made my day.

Yay,.........good for you on the book, and on keeping the appt. But don't get on yourself if Monday you feel you need to cancel, a break isn't the end of the world, but just alittle time out for self healing!!

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I will keep the appointment for now and cancel Monday if I am still feeling the same way.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Yeah! The opportunity to discuss these feelings with T may prove to be very healing.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
to see my name as an author on the cover just made my day

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Woo hoo!!!! Congratulations, this is awesome news...

i can relate to how you feel. I need a new T but the thought of starting over again is holding me back.

On the positive side i am happy for you that your new T was so helpful and you were able to relate so fast. Maybe 4.5 hours is a good length of time for a 1st session?

On an even better note CONGATULATIONS on the book. It shows that you and your collegues are very perseverant and that is a very good thing.

Linda

I am so happy for you, being an author!!!!!!

You are such a good writer, as evidenced here on PC!!!

Congratulations on your book! You are an amazing writer, so I'm not at all surprised! In fact, I printed your Rupture and Repair post to reread a second time. It was such a perfect description of how to work through anger -- it should be in a manual for therapists in training.

Anyway, I understand your exhaustion and sometimes it helps to shift into another mode for awhile to regain balance. You have a lot going on! Take care.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
On the positive side i am happy for you that your new T was so helpful

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
bpdsufferer, she actually won't be my therapist, but she is a therapist by training. She will work with my children during the divorce to make sure their needs are heard and represented. As part of that, she interviews both me and my husband to hear our concerns. She is really great, and I like her a lot.

Whoa, you guys are so wonderful with the supportive comments about my book. Really made my day.

I want to also thank those of you who said I was a good writer. That double made my day!

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I printed your Rupture and Repair post to reread a second time. It was such a perfect description of how to work through anger -- it should be in a manual for therapists in training.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Wow, Caramee, that is a cool thought!

I think we have so many interesting experiences here in our forum on psychotherapy, we could put together a really good collection of what works and doesn't work for the client in psychotherapy. There is so much information out there on psychotherapy from the therapist perspective, but not so much from the client. Sometimes I think both therapists and clients could benefit from hearing more of the client perspective on therapy.

I am feeling better now. I will definitely not cancel my appointment with T. I have a little space and distance for myself and feel stronger now. But I think when I go for my session, I will keep the talk away from the relationship, though, and stick to things he can give me his insights and advice on. He is very useful for that (has so much experience)--we don't always dwell on the relationship.

Congratulations on your book. What a wonderful accomplishment.

As far as feeling exhausted with sharing.... I am right there with you. Especially when I am depressed.... there have been sessions in which I have been silent for the majority of the time.... I tell T, "I just don't have the energy to even conjure up something to tell you, let alone say anything." I hate that feeling.

Then when I went to see my new pdoc-- my 7th pdoc-- Underneath it all, I was excited at the possibility of something working out, but outwardly I was thinking, "Nooooo... not again... I cannot start over and share my story again."

Exhausted is absolutely the most perfect word for the feeling.

(((((sunrise))))) I sure can relate to your feelings. Maybe take a little time for yourself. A hot bath or a quick walk can do you a world of good. It seems that our life situations are quite similar. Exposing yourself is very difficult. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever have imagined discussing such intimate details of my personal life with virtual strangers. It is exhausting. Take care of yourself, you deserve it.


Peace

I understand the overload Sunny. Have you made time for you this weekend? I feel this way about starting a therapy search.

Hey, congrats on the book. How does fame feel?