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  #26  
Old Jun 10, 2017, 10:18 AM
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AllHeart AllHeart is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueJeans00 View Post
I can't get my therapist out of my mind.
He always in my mind. Part of me doesn't want to let go of the transference I have for him, because that means I have to face my reality.
But for once I would like to have a break thinking about him.
I don't know if anyone has experienced this or if there is some psychology subconscious trick to the client. But my therapist has been wearing the same clothes for past 3 weeks. Every time I see him its same jumper with same shirt and pants and shoes. Why it bothers me, is because the past 10 months he hasn't been like this. Its always different clothes. So Im thinking why is he wearing the same clothes? Is it to affect my subconscious.
The way he dresses reminds me of my dad or some schol teacher or my grandad. Its actually annoying me now.
I know its sounds all trivial but seriously its getting my nose out of joint.

Does anyone know whats going on?
Similar thing happened to me a while back (thread:Repeat Pants Offender). Old t was wearing the same unique pants repeatedly. Got my "nose out of joint" too and I had no idea why. Drove me crazy. Eventually she stopped wearing the same pants and the thoughts stopped. I completely forgot about the whole perplexing ordeal until now but come to think of it, I don't think I ever saw her wear those same pants again. Weirdorama!
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Thanks for this!
BlueJeans00

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  #27  
Old Jun 10, 2017, 12:04 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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I could not tell you what the woman wears. It is fully possible she could sit there stark naked and I might not notice.
I could not tell you what I wore yesterday (although probably some version of a blue or white shirt and khakis - just from habit)
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  #28  
Old Jun 10, 2017, 12:28 PM
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velcro003 velcro003 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
I could not tell you what the woman wears. It is fully possible she could sit there stark naked and I might not notice.
I know you claim to never know what the woman looks like, but you must admit you do have eyes and would notice a naked woman sitting in the same room as you.
Thanks for this!
BlueJeans00
  #29  
Old Jun 10, 2017, 12:32 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Seriously - I really might not. I have failed to notice students who had shaved their heads, acquaintances who were 9 months pregnant, and a client who partially disrobed in court while sitting next to me.
I really just don't pay that much attention to what others look like or are or are not wearing. I do not believe I would recognize the woman out on the street. I do not look at her. Her personage is irrelevant to me
Eyes are not the question - why would it matter to me what she is wearing or not wearing?
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Thanks for this!
atisketatasket, BeyondtheRainbow, growlycat
  #30  
Old Jun 10, 2017, 01:04 PM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Partially disrobed client? And they say lawyering isn't sexy.

I also can not notice fairly drastic changes in people I interact with regularly. And I recommend the French film La Moustache to anyone who's ever been in that spot (man shaves off mustache, wife doesn't notice, existential crisis ensues).
Thanks for this!
Argonautomobile, stopdog, unaluna
  #31  
Old Jun 10, 2017, 04:08 PM
BlueJeans00 BlueJeans00 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xynesthesia View Post
I am generally quite comfortable with any topic in therapy but something like this, for me, would be beyond what I would feel appropriate to bring up, it would feel like intruding on his private matter. But maybe a therapist would not mind.

I would ask myself the question why it is important and/or is bothering me that he has been wearing the same kind of clothes for a few weeks? Is it primarily a curiosity about him or because you feel it has something to do with you?

I agree with those posters that suggested it's pretty unlikely that his clothing choices have anything to do with you. Are you the only client he sees on those days? if not, it's not only you that meet him in those clothes. I personally never owned identical sets of the same clothes/shoes but I know many people that do - it simplifies life and style for those that do not care much about fashion/variety and prefer to stick with a few pieces that they like and find comfortable.

This is not to sound invasive, but from your various posts, it sounds like you often speculate and imagine things about your T and not really ask the question why you imagine these things? Perhaps that would be a productive way to look at your fantasies and why they come up, focus on your side of it?

Thank you for your response.
I appreciate it.
I believe its because his clothes reminds me of my dad and my granddad. I feel now he is my therapist where as before I had or still having a lovw transference. So it annoys me. One time he didn't wear these clothes and I fwlt relaxed but then when he wore these shoes that reminded.of my grandad I felted angry. Because it kinda sets off my transference. Im quite a visual person so I work on visually than say others would be by hearing.
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  #32  
Old Jun 10, 2017, 04:11 PM
BlueJeans00 BlueJeans00 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AllHeart View Post
Similar thing happened to me a while back (thread:Repeat Pants Offender). Old t was wearing the same unique pants repeatedly. Got my "nose out of joint" too and I had no idea why. Drove me crazy. Eventually she stopped wearing the same pants and the thoughts stopped. I completely forgot about the whole perplexing ordeal until now but come to think of it, I don't think I ever saw her wear those same pants again. Weirdorama!
This is really interesting. Because you and another person including myself has experienced this and Im wondering whats going on in out minds.
Thanks for this!
AllHeart
  #33  
Old Jun 10, 2017, 08:10 PM
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velcro003 velcro003 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
Seriously - I really might not. I have failed to notice students who had shaved their heads, acquaintances who were 9 months pregnant, and a client who partially disrobed in court while sitting next to me.
I really just don't pay that much attention to what others look like or are or are not wearing. I do not believe I would recognize the woman out on the street. I do not look at her. Her personage is irrelevant to me
Eyes are not the question - why would it matter to me what she is wearing or not wearing?
Well I meant you must at least look in the direction of your T, or do you not? Like even in peripheal vision, a flash of overwhelming skin may pass your unwilling eyes!

(joking, but this topic fascinates me)
  #34  
Old Jun 10, 2017, 09:12 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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It would be more - is this info I need to register or is it not? The therapist's physical appearance falls into the latter category. As long as she is not getting within 3-4 feet of me - her physical appearance is simply not something to which I need give any attention.
__________________
Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
  #35  
Old Jun 10, 2017, 09:21 PM
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growlycat growlycat is offline
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When I first started therapy I was too shy to look at my therapist. There are a lot of reasons why someone may not directly look at a therapist.
  #36  
Old Jun 10, 2017, 09:55 PM
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velcro003 velcro003 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat View Post
When I first started therapy I was too shy to look at my therapist. There are a lot of reasons why someone may not directly look at a therapist.
oh, i almost never look directly at my T.
Thanks for this!
growlycat
  #37  
Old Jun 10, 2017, 10:19 PM
awkwardlyyours awkwardlyyours is offline
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I just wanted to add that I've worn the same set of trousers -- with spackle paint included -- for every single session since October of last year (and I've been going twice a week since Jan).

T has never commented on it.

I also mostly rotate between the exact same two t-shirts (Hanes $5) -- one black and one grey -- but unfortunately, if I don't get around to doing my laundry, I have to pick other ones. T only commented once when I wore one (accidentally) with stuff written on it related to what I was talking that day.

So, no, I don't find odd at all to wear the exact same clothes. For work, I have four sets of the exact same type of jeans and button-down shirts that are different varieties of pretty much the same thing.

As for T, I notice the rotating variety of her glasses (I'm slightly obsessed with glasses although I don't wear them myself) -- most of which suck but one's kinda awesome -- and tell her so. And, she's sometimes said that when she's getting ready in the am, she's thought I'd comment on her glasses when she picked them (yes, we have rather awkward conversations......as is the case with the rest of my life).
Thanks for this!
atisketatasket, BlueJeans00
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