[BlueJeans00]

I can't get my therapist out of my mind.
He always in my mind. Part of me doesn't want to let go of the transference I have for him, because that means I have to face my reality.
But for once I would like to have a break thinking about him.
I don't know if anyone has experienced this or if there is some psychology subconscious trick to the client. But my therapist has been wearing the same clothes for past 3 weeks. Every time I see him its same jumper with same shirt and pants and shoes. Why it bothers me, is because the past 10 months he hasn't been like this. Its always different clothes. So Im thinking why is he wearing the same clothes? Is it to affect my subconscious.
The way he dresses reminds me of my dad or some schol teacher or my grandad. Its actually annoying me now.
I know its sounds all trivial but seriously its getting my nose out of joint.

Does anyone know whats going on?

[Salmon77]

It seems unlikely to me that your T's clothing choices have anything to do with you. Maybe he gained weight and that's all that fits, maybe it's his favorite, who knows.

Might be worth talking about why his clothing bothers you, though.

[anais_anais]

M wore the same yellow plaid shirt, blue pullover, and khaki pants for about a month. It seriously started messing with me. It felt like one big long session when I tried to think back. But now he's wearing different stuff again.

It's coincidence of course. But still weird.

[stopdog]

I have to be willing to expend energy (which I am often not willing to do) to pay attention in order not to wear the same clothes in the same order each week. On Wednesdays I usually wear X pants with Y shirt - and that is mostly because I read someplace that one is not supposed to wear the same clothes (even if clean) every day. Also, I have about 4 pairs of the same pants and 4 of the same shirts. So it looks like I am wearing the same even when I am not.
Is it possible he just doesn't pay attention to what he is wearing?

[BlueJeans00]

Originally Posted by Salmon77

It seems unlikely to me that your T's clothing choices have anything to do with you. Maybe he gained weight and that's all that fits, maybe it's his favorite, who knows.

Might be worth talking about why his clothing bothers you, though.

Yeah, I just feel stupid to even mention it.

[BlueJeans00]

Originally Posted by anais_anais

M wore the same yellow plaid shirt, blue pullover, and khaki pants for about a month. It seriously started messing with me. It felt like one big long session when I tried to think back. But now he's wearing different stuff again.

It's coincidence of course. But still weird.

You sure its just coincidence.
Its happening to me now. What you've experience.
I mean why do it all of sudden. I mean wearing the same clothes for a month its take effort. Washing.the same clothes every day!

[growlycat]

It's worth mentioning. Sometimes the little things open up conversations about the big things.

I have a bad habit of wearing certain clothes on certain days too. It takes effort to change up the order

[anais_anais]

Originally Posted by BlueJeans00

You sure its just coincidence.
Its happening to me now. What you've experience.
I mean why do it all of sudden. I mean wearing the same clothes for a month its take effort. Washing.the same clothes every day!

I think it's like what SD said. You get in a cycle of what's clean and what isn't. And then the cycle shifts I guess. I'm pretty sure my students think I have like, two shirts. Also when I get a new shirt that I really like, I will wear it as much as I possibly can. As fast as I can get it to dry.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by BlueJeans00

Y I mean wearing the same clothes for a month its take effort. Washing.the same clothes every day!

Really - it is possible to have more than 1 of the same clothes. I really have 4 of the exact same blue and 4 of the exact same white shirts and I really have 4 of each of the colors - and 4 khaki pants - same brand, same style - bought all at the same time. It does not take any effort - zero - at all to wear the same clothes every day. That is why I do it.

[growlycat]

When I like a piece of clothing I will sometimes buy multiples too because good style and fit are a pain to find. When I really like a pair of shoes I usually by two pairs at the same time

[BlueJeans00]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Really - it is possible to have more than 1 of the same clothes. I really have 4 of the exact same blue and 4 of the exact same white shirts and I really have 4 of each of the colors - and 4 khaki pants - same brand, same style - bought all at the same time. It does not take any effort - zero - at all to wear the same clothes every day. That is why I do it.

But wouldn't that get boring wearing the same.clothes?

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by BlueJeans00

But wouldn't that get boring wearing the same.clothes?

Why would it?

Especially if this is a man. The ones I know do not find clothes all that interesting.

[ruh roh]

What kind of jumper does a man wear? All I can think of are the onsies with bell bottoms that women wear. If that's what he's wearing, I think there's more going on here than the fact he wears it every day.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

What kind of jumper does a man wear? All I can think of are the onsies with bell bottoms that women wear. If that's what he's wearing, I think there's more going on here than the fact he wears it every day.

I was guessing it was jumper as a synonym for sweater?

[growlycat]

I think a jumper is what we would call
A sweater. Not this.....
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects...-summer-outfit

[ruh roh]

Originally Posted by growlycat

I think a jumper is what we would call
A sweater. Not this.....
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects...-summer-outfit

oh--ahahahaha. thanks for that.

"Jumper" must be a regional term.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by growlycat

I think a jumper is what we would call
A sweater. Not this.....
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects...-summer-outfit

I would totally see a male therapist if he dressed like the dude in a squat wearing mirrored aviators and a fur jacket.

OP - why not ask him why he wears the same outfit so often?

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by growlycat

I think a jumper is what we would call
A sweater. Not this.....
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects...-summer-outfit

I quite involuntarily pictured my T in this outfit. It was awful

I agree with Stopdog - totally possible to have identical outfits.

[BlueJeans00]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Why would it?

Especially if this is a man. The ones I know do not find clothes all that interesting.

Whats weird is, it was all of.sudden. I been going to therapy for 10 months always different shirt but now they wearng the same outfit every Thursday I see him for 3 weeks!

[BlueJeans00]

Originally Posted by growlycat

I think a jumper is what we would call
A sweater. Not this.....
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects...-summer-outfit

I meant this https://goo.gl/images/S7ZQRK but grey!

What Im getting at is, im concerned he trying to do some visual psychology subconscious thing to me.

[velcro003]

I highly doubt that this is some technique he is trying on you. If you can, I would try to bring it up with him, because it is obviously bothering you!

I couldn't tell you any outfit my T has ever worn, bc I never really look at her much She is also always cold and wrapped up in various shawls like an old lady, except she's not.

[BlueJeans00]

Originally Posted by velcro003

I highly doubt that this is some technique he is trying on you. If you can, I would try to bring it up with him, because it is obviously bothering you!

I couldn't tell you any outfit my T has ever worn, bc I never really look at her much She is also always cold and wrapped up in various shawls like an old lady, except she's not.

Oh I noticed every detail tp everything. I once recognise that my T was carry a some what see threw white plastic bag. I said "Oh you have a cold" since I recognise the brand of medicine in the bag. He said "Oh you notice every detail" I said well if something happened and I had to report to the police. I will give more information than anyone else.
I will even recognise the style of socks he wears. But Im like this with everyone, not just my T.

[Ms.Lizette]

I notice my T has different brands and flavors of mints on his desk every time. It doesn't bother but it distracts me, which is in a way, pleasant....

Why does he need mints? Does he have constant dry mouth? Could it be he is on some type of medication which makes him have dry mouth? And why different flavors and brands? Can't he find one he likes? Is he testing brands? Why?

And so on.

Sometimes I get quiet and he asks me what I am thinking about and I find myself thinking about his mints. I haven't told him either.

I think in my case it is just some sort of compulsive distraction that my brain uses to distract myself from what I should focus on: how I am feeling about the topics we are talking about.

[BlueJeans00]

Originally Posted by Ms.Lizette

I notice my T has different brands and flavors of mints on his desk every time. It doesn't bother but it distracts me, which is in a way, pleasant....

Why does he need mints? Does he have constant dry mouth? Could it be he is on some type of medication which makes him have dry mouth? And why different flavors and brands? Can't he find one he likes? Is he testing brands? Why?

And so on.

Sometimes I get quiet and he asks me what I am thinking about and I find myself thinking about his mints. I haven't told him either.

I think in my case it is just some sort of compulsive distraction that my brain uses to distract myself from what I should focus on: how I am feeling about the topics we are talking about.

Thank you for sharing your experience.
Im relieved Im not the only one experience this.
I will agree with what you mentioned about its an distraction, from our feelings.

But yeah Im thinking why is he wearing that shirt? Why does he wear it every appointment I have with him?
Oh wait, he changed pants to.jeans and now he is wearing different shoes.
On the shirt under his jumper is different than other appointment. Does he make sure this jumper is always clean and wears it? I mean it is cold. Im sure he has different other shirts or coats. Is it new?

I am generally quite comfortable with any topic in therapy but something like this, for me, would be beyond what I would feel appropriate to bring up, it would feel like intruding on his private matter. But maybe a therapist would not mind.

I would ask myself the question why it is important and/or is bothering me that he has been wearing the same kind of clothes for a few weeks? Is it primarily a curiosity about him or because you feel it has something to do with you?

I agree with those posters that suggested it's pretty unlikely that his clothing choices have anything to do with you. Are you the only client he sees on those days? if not, it's not only you that meet him in those clothes. I personally never owned identical sets of the same clothes/shoes but I know many people that do - it simplifies life and style for those that do not care much about fashion/variety and prefer to stick with a few pieces that they like and find comfortable.

This is not to sound invasive, but from your various posts, it sounds like you often speculate and imagine things about your T and not really ask the question why you imagine these things? Perhaps that would be a productive way to look at your fantasies and why they come up, focus on your side of it?