[20oney]

This may have been asked before, I am not sure. But, do you think a therapist intentionally triggers you, so to open up old wounds and 'heal' them more effectively..? Or something...?

I am really really struggling with a lost session due to poor scheduling.. I don't think I have experienced this strong a feeling from any part of therapy. But it has really really messed me up good. I was going well, had motivation, my walls were coming down a little. Then I got rescheduled and I basically felt the walls shoot back up and have been a hermit for the last 2 days. My first instinct is to run, cancel all future session and move far far away, because without T, there is no one else for support anyway.. This isn't going to happen obviously. But. Mmmm.

Has she triggered something or what? How do I get through this?! I need to be productive, I cannot continue to hermit for the next 2 weeks until I am
able to go back. We have briefly emailed 'wait it out, it will pass' was what I got. It has not proven to be helpful. I don't know if she gets the impact it is having on me, or if she is trying me..

Help. Plz. Anyone else experienced being triggered and left?

I'm sorry you have been triggered. It sounds to me like your T has triggered abandonment feelings in you. I'm sure your T didn't do this to you on purpose, but I do sometimes wonder if T's realise just how things like appointments & rescheduling actually affects us so badly? Please stay with the process & see your T next time, but I would definitely tell your T just how badly this has affected you. She needs to know! Good luck.

[ScarletPimpernel]

It was probably just a scheduling error. I doubt she meant to trigger you. My T had a scheduling error on my very first appointment! She double booked me! I have never let her forget it either. It really traumatized me (but then again ex-T had just abandoned me 4 weeks before). Tell your T how much this has bothered you. And if you need to and are able to, reach out to her again.

[Elio]

I wonder at times too if she does things on purpose to trigger or assess where I am... then I think I am just being paranoid and I still have a ways to go in this process. My T has told me several times that she does not do that. From some of the books I have read, they have said that a T doesn't need to do that because just the fact that they are human will result in these types of things to occur when looking at things over a long enough time period.

At the same time, they call what the do for us ... interventions and suggest changing techniques/methods as needed for specific interventions. So why wouldn't intentionally doing something that is potentially triggering be considered just a form of intervention?

If you've been following my story, you'd know that my T is moving from clinic to private practice and I will be going with her. I have wondered if the last Wednesday's session of telling me that she couldn't see me on what will be my first regular session day after the move wasn't done just so that she could come back with a.. 'look, we can meet. see me take care of you or show you that your needs are important' intervention.

There was also something done with the chairs in her office on this past Monday. I'm still writing up the session notes on it; but basically, I get in the office and the only chair for me to use is one that I've had issues with in the past and pretty much refused to sit in it. So, did she purposely take out the chair I usually use? Did she purposely not locate me a different chair when she noticed there was only the one chair? Did she not even notice until I got in the room and stood there a bit hesitant as to how to proceed? (btw, she is in a shared office clinic so who knows who moved the chair)

I am sorry that this has triggered you. I have been there before - the urge to run far away (run away from home?) to protect myself from the pain, hurt, and other not fun feelings. I don't have words of advice on how not to be a hermit. There's been times where that is all that happened for the time period and other times some random thing would happen and all of a sudden the emotions are gone/deflated, possibly put into perspective of being self induced drama. This is not to say that the feelings are not real. Because they are very real, very painful, and very hard. It takes courage to allow yourself to feel these things and to decide to live through them and not run from them.

[stopdog]

Yes - I believe they intentionally mess with clients. I also believe they would deny it or say it was an intervention (their psychobabbly crap is both amusing and empty in my opinion).

I wouldn't frame it as intentionally triggering, but as Stopdog mentioned, interventions are meant to have an effect on the client or to get a reaction. Messing with someone's schedule purposely doesn't sound like an intervention and I don't think a sound therapist would do that purposely.

I wanted to comment on what Elio said-I've had 2 therapists that moved chairs as 'interventions'. Chair spacing and related interventions are mentioned in therapy books. and naturally, people may feel intruded on if the chairs are spaced too close; others may feel too distant if chairs are spaced too far away.

Similar things are written for job interviewing techniques and for other purposes in other types of business.

I agree with SD and Blanche. I think that Ts do things to illicit certain reactions in order to promote conversations and healing (hopefully). I guess my struggle is in the way the question was asked in the title. "Intentionally triggered." I don't know that I would say that this is the goal of the T.

I would agree with you that the scheduling has brought up abandonment feelings within you. I'm dealing with some pretty strong abandonment feelings surrounding my T right now. Do I think that he took a 5 week vacation to open old wounds within me? Do I think he forgot to schedule me when he said he would to help me heal? No to both.

However, I think these moments can be really instrumental in a great dialogue about the feelings you're having. I was an emotional disaster in my last session talking about the vacation, but it led to a really cathartic release about some of the parental abandonment feelings I have. It illustrated to me how deeply that feeling of loss influences my life in some really unhealthy ways. So it's given me something to work on, and hope that it can get better.

[anais_anais]

it seems like M has done this a few times, usually in the form of asking me for details about a memory that i bring up. sometimes I do think it's a useful exercise, therapy being a safe and controlled environment. but a few weeks ago he took it too far, i was a total mess. next time i saw him he said that we did not have to "go digging for things" anymore.

so there's a danger in it... but some of my most useful information has come from the times when he's done it skillfully. i think in a way, it's like hosting a kids' birthday party... you have to be able to sense when to change the activity while everyone is having a good time, otherwise before you know it everyone is screaming.

but in this case, it really does seem like a scheduling error. those happen too

[InnerPeace111]

This is just my own personal experience, but the answer is no. I do not feel my T has ever tried to intentionally trigger me. Not at all.

[20oney]

I agree with many of you, scheduling issues happen, and it was most likely not her intention on triggering me. I don't even know if I am "triggered" as such or it was just one extra thing on top of the rest.. The feelings that it has brought up have just been so relevant to what we have been discussing.

We have had a couple of scheduling dramas before, one which resulted in the same amount of time apart, but it was on me - I was the one who cancelled with good reason. T has good reason on this count, but she cancelled which I guess I wasn't ready for.. I donno. It'll all be fine.

Thank you to everyone for your responses!! It is good to hear from others about this stuff