[mcl6136]

My T seems to have taken up smoking. I have asthma and it's triggered by smoke. It was never an issue before, because her office was never smoky. It sucks to walk in there!

A few weeks ago, I had a meltdown in the therapy, which I have covered in another string of threads. This new development just seems like the last straw, actually. I feel like saying, "hey, I never would have started therapy with you if I knew your office would be a cigarette; I could not have handled it. But now, this kind of forces me to quit."

No question here; it's just kind of ironic that this is going to tip the balance for me to leave therapy with this T, after making it through the awful "misunderstanding".

Sigh.

[Deejay14]

No its about your health!!

[unaluna]

Oh i would be gone in a flash. Wth?!

[maybeblue]

Is she actually smoking in her office or is it coming in on her clothes/hair? I wonder if there is any chance that a client right before you came in with it on his/her clothes.

In any case I don't blame you for considering quitting. I'm not even allergic, but it would bother me a lot to try to sit in a stinky room for an hour.

I wouldn't be able to handle the cigarette smell either. Ugh. My t usually has at least one candle lit but they're not scented ones.

Well, she'll sometimes have a little sage burning for smudging, but I do that outside on the step before going in. I love that smell. So calming.

But cigarettes? No. Sorry you're dealing w that.

[mcl6136]

Clarification: Not actively smoking but the office STINKS!!

I know this sounds crazy but I feel like it's kind of a passive aggressive thing coming from her. She knows that I have asthma and it has flared up during the sessions, haha.

I'm really at my wit's end. Thank you for hearing me out on this rolling cluster that my therapy has become!

[ElectricManatee]

How long have you been seeing this T? I would be really surprised if an adult suddenly took up smoking out of the blue. My money is on the smell lingering from a previous client.

I am not allergic or asthmatic, but I would really be bothered by the smell too. Have you commented about it to your T?

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

How long have you been seeing this T? I would be really surprised if an adult suddenly took up smoking out of the blue. My money is on the smell lingering from a previous client.

I am not allergic or asthmatic, but I would really be bothered by the smell too. Have you commented about it to your T?

I have been seeing T for more than two years. Things were great and then got rocky. I haven't commented. I can't imagine that it's a previous client unless they were actively smoking in the session (it seems to be in the air) Some adults go back to smoking after kicking the habit, don't they?

I don't want to bring this up but I am going to have to.

[LonesomeTonight]

I'm also wondering if it could have been from a previous client--I noticed a smoke smell in my T's office last week, but I know he doesn't smoke--I assumed his last client was a smoker, so the smell rubbed off on something in the room.

I'd say something to your T--just mention the smoky smell (don't accuse her of smoking) and see if maybe she could bring in an air purifier to run so that you're comfortable. If it is a client, maybe you could switch times or days (or see if she can have that person switch so it doesn't smell in the office?)

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Oh i would be gone in a flash. Wth?!

yeah....wth??? I am just so exasperated!!!

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I'm also wondering if it could have been from a previous client--I noticed a smoke smell in my T's office last week, but I know he doesn't smoke--I assumed his last client was a smoker, so the smell rubbed off on something in the room.

I'd say something to your T--just mention the smoky smell (don't accuse her of smoking) and see if maybe she could bring in an air purifier to run so that you're comfortable. If it is a client, maybe you could switch times or days (or see if she can have that person switch so it doesn't smell in the office?)

I think suggesting another time and seeing if it is still an issue is a potential solution. Thanks! This is the second session of smoky air. I'm scheduled to go back in two weeks and this, along with the melt-down, has really taken the wind out of my sails.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by maybeblue

Is she actually smoking in her office or is it coming in on her clothes/hair? I wonder if there is any chance that a client right before you came in with it on his/her clothes.

In any case I don't blame you for considering quitting. I'm not even allergic, but it would bother me a lot to try to sit in a stinky room for an hour.

Yeah; it's a drag, m-b. I'm so discouraged.

[Thalassophile]

I would just inquire if her previous client smokes and highlight how it is aggravating your asthma and see if there are any changes. I find smokers can get very defensive about smoke and are never able to smell it the same as non smokers

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

I think suggesting another time and seeing if it is still an issue is a potential solution. Thanks! This is the second session of smoky air. I'm scheduled to go back in two weeks and this, along with the melt-down, has really taken the wind out of my sails.

I would still ask if its her.

Maybe youll have to febreze her and the room before every session? Idk. Im getting anxious just thinking if i had to deal with it. I dont like people walking by me on the street with their cigs. If my nose hairs get a good dose of smoke, thats it for me, i get bronchitis.

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

Clarification: Not actively smoking but the office STINKS!!

I know this sounds crazy but I feel like it's kind of a passive aggressive thing coming from her. She knows that I have asthma and it has flared up during the sessions, haha.

I don't think you sound crazy but there are times when I think that understanding the possible benign interpretation of someone's behavior causes one less pain. I would add that in my experience I am rarely correct about why someone else behaves in a particular way, and lots of the time, it's actually not about me.

My T's office smelled like cigs once. Turns out the person before me was a heavy smoker. He took out a can of that natural orange spray and let me spray the room as I liked. Then he rescheduled that person for a slot on a day other than mine. Never smelled it again.

I'm really sensitive to cigarette smoke. I told my H I would not marry him unless he quit smoking (he did) and while we lived together before we were married (shock of shocks), he always smoked on the covered porch off his office. And he was a pretty light smoker, less than a pack per day. He kept his clothes in his office closet but there were times when I thought the entire house smelled like cigs. After he quit, he would occasionally smoke. I could always smell it and said so. One day, I made a comment and he said that he hadn't smoked that day, but hung out with a colleague who smoked. I could still smell it.

[ruh roh]

You have so much more tact than I do. I would have said the place stank like an ashtray, and could we go for a walk so I could breathe.

[ruh roh]

Smokers don't seem to get that they smell bad.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

Smokers don't seem to get that they smell bad.

Well, it kills your sense of smell, plus you get used to it, so it smells normal (I used to smoke years ago, but only like a half pack a day). And it used to be lots of places allowed smoking inside, so it was more of a common smell to be around--now, not so much...

Edited to add: This is not me at all defending smokers...

[stopdog]

What is wrong with defending smokers? I don't smoke anymore but I don't see it as a moral failing or that smokers are a group it is okay to pile disdain upon. It is fine to want to avoid it smoke or the smell -but smokers are not subhuman. They aren't therapists for example.

I can sometimes smell cigarettes on people and sometimes I cannot. Sometimes I dislike it and sometimes it is comforting because it can remind me of my mother. I have had appointments where I could still smell the cologne or perfume or aftershave of the previous client - usually I don't like it but it is not that huge of a deal for me.

I think trying a different time slot is a good plan. My guess is it is another client and not that the therapist suddenly started.

[MessyD]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

Smokers don't seem to get that they smell bad.

That was actually one of the reasons I quit smoking, i didn't like how the smell stayed on everything. And even though it's true that smokers don't smell it as much, even when I used to smoke , I wouldn't want to sit in a room that smelled like cigarettes.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by Anne2.0

I don't think you sound crazy but there are times when I think that understanding the possible benign interpretation of someone's behavior causes one less pain. I would add that in my experience I am rarely correct about why someone else behaves in a particular way, and lots of the time, it's actually not about me.

My T's office smelled like cigs once. Turns out the person before me was a heavy smoker. He took out a can of that natural orange spray and let me spray the room as I liked. Then he rescheduled that person for a slot on a day other than mine. Never smelled it again.

I'm really sensitive to cigarette smoke. I told my H I would not marry him unless he quit smoking (he did) and while we lived together before we were married (shock of shocks), he always smoked on the covered porch off his office. And he was a pretty light smoker, less than a pack per day. He kept his clothes in his office closet but there were times when I thought the entire house smelled like cigs. After he quit, he would occasionally smoke. I could always smell it and said so. One day, I made a comment and he said that he hadn't smoked that day, but hung out with a colleague who smoked. I could still smell it.

I'm just not going to be able to be in that space ....regardless of how it's getting that way. Also, I can tell the difference between the smell of stale smoke and smoke hanging in the air. If there was an orange spray option, that would be a good one.

I wonder if it would be too intrusive to bring my OWN ORANGE SpRay???

[UnderRugSwept]

Hi mcl,

I have had a similar experience a few times, and the smoke smell was caused by the client before me.

I had given my T some Lysol, because I am a germaphobe and he was using only Febreeze on the couch (ick, no), so I sprayed that all over the place, which solved the issue.

I think you should bring whatever works for you to help clear the air and won't set your asthma off.

[awkwardlyyours]

OP -- I don't have an issue with cigarette smoke (father's an inveterate smoker and so, I barely even register the smell).

But, I am extremely sensitive to most other strong smells (and asthmatic too) -- E.g. heavy duty perfume, lotion and the like.

There's a client before me on specific days who, I dunno, bathes herself in some gawdawful perfume or something and it's like an assault on my senses. I just tell my therapist about it and she's like "Yeah, that person wears that flowery scent" and I make my displeasure clear and we move on.

But, if I was actually having a hard time breathing -- like you do -- I'd request to move elsewhere (outside / a different room) or basically, just say that this isn't working for you. What do you have to lose, really?

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

OP -- I don't have an issue with cigarette smoke (father's an inveterate smoker and so, I barely even register the smell).

But, I am extremely sensitive to most other strong smells (and asthmatic too) -- E.g. heavy duty perfume, lotion and the like.

There's a client before me on specific days who, I dunno, bathes herself in some gawdawful perfume or something and it's like an assault on my senses. I just tell my therapist about it and she's like "Yeah, that person wears that flowery scent" and I make my displeasure clear and we move on.

But, if I was actually having a hard time breathing -- like you do -- I'd request to move elsewhere (outside / a different room) or basically, just say that this isn't working for you. What do you have to lose, really?

Thanks...and whether it's a neighboing office, a prior client or my T, it's a deal-breaker. You're right...what do I have to lose? As the American Lung Association says, When You Can't Breathe, Nothing Else Matters.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

You have so much more tact than I do. I would have said the place stank like an ashtray, and could we go for a walk so I could breathe.

This is my fantasy solution!!