I ran into my ex-T who abused me today just outside a store. We were within about 20 feet of each other and as soon as I saw him my legs became weak and I began to shake. It was like all the strength in my body drained out of me instantly. It's 4 hrs later and I barely can stand without my knees almost giving out.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Ypu know... I had to think about this.. there was someone that abused me.. not a T.. but a person in power.. a manager.. for 3 years.. so it was 3 years everyday verbal and psych.. abuse.. of working on a 20 man team me the only woman.. walking into "crap" each and everyday and then thank goodness.. I parted from the company.. I would have "parted" sooner.. but my son was in/out of hospital..and I needed the insurance....without the pre-existing condition... and this manager knew this.. and he exploited it.. made my life hell..

So.. this doesn't come even close to a power of a T... but it was the only thing I could relate it to.. so sorry.. if this is a bad example..

The first couple of times I ran into him I had a meltdown.. shaking.. sick..

And my therapist.. did her "thing"... talking about what a jerk he was.. and to take my "power" back..

So the next time I saw him in the post office.. yes the post office.. and I just started in on him (totally and completely not me).. told him what a jerk he was and exactly what he did to make him a jerk.. and how I thought he was a jerk..

and he calmly said "I thought that I treated you well"..

I was speechless.. and it ended..

Then.. fast forward...

I saw him at a big grocery store chain and you guessed it..
my therapist had been working on me expressing my anger.. cause I turn my anger into my eating disorder,, I wanted my "life" back from what this man had put me thru..

and I just started yelling at him.. what a "xxx" he was.. how he had caused me so much stress I had an eating disorder... how much I truely disliked him.. how he abused his staff.. and on and on..

and it was loud... yepper.. very loud... lasted a few seconds.. and he wanted to crawal someplace and hide..

BUT I felt better... I felt like I "owned" my life again.. that a huge weight was gone...
And I have seen him since.. and I am "done" with him..and yepper.. he "cringes" when he sees me.. he was a bully.. and he got called out....

Don't know if this in any way helped.. as I said.. T hold some much more power.. but it was the only thing I could think of...

just wanted to try and help ((((hugs)))))

Hi Freewill,

By the way I love the name. Thank you for trying to relate to me...and it did help. I just about froze in total fear....I could barely keep myself from puddling on the ground. I didn't want to show him how badly it actually affected me but it did. I would love to go off on the man but I'm scared I might take it to the physical level and I don't wanna do that. Also, things are still being investigated and I don't want to screw up my case against him. I can't believe how badly this is still effecting me....it's like 8 hrs or more later and still just vibrating.

Anyways thanks again...

[smiley1984]

when I get scared about something, my legs get weak and shakey and I fell down the stairs because of it last week - lol I'm usually very co-ordinated
and I can't fill up my coffee cup because I shake so much I spill it, and when I'm making it I spill coffee all over the bench because I'm shaking so much that it spills of the spoon.

So I can sympathise with the shaking and legs collapsing bit - it is not abnormal. My partner calls me a vibrator!!