The Couch 147: Maximum Break!

Haha! You rock <3

I feel like ****. I feel like ****. I was trying to make small talk with a man and he cut me off and said I needed to get a life. I feel stupid and dumb and uninteresting. People have said this before I don't really understand what it means.

Interesting article on transference love and erotic transference - http://www.continuingedcourses.net/a.../course084.php

As far as I can tell, that phrase means "I'm insecure and the only way I know to make myself feel safer is to make someone else feel bad."
You have never come across as stupid dumb and uninteresting on here. Don't let this guy dictate your sense of who you are.

It's usually people I really want to impress like managers and senior workmates. I didn't realise people took that much notice of me here

I did sleep much better than yesterday, thank you. Velcro, I'm sorry that you can't sleep.

Hugs. Once a bus driver snapped that at me too and said I'm crazy. Some people are judgmental asshats.

Bcm, people at work will cut you on purpose if they think you are competition. If they think they can get away with it, and if they think it will give them a leg up. And you are smart and beautiful.

My notes are being morbid, they don't like themselves, lol.

What's happening here? I can't understand the plot

No plot, just

i wish. this will be the longest day ever. i realized at 5 a.m that i didn't take my Seroquel.

This is the 3rd or 4th time I haven't taken it (the other ones were tests to see how i'd sleep without it, and this was the first time i forgot), and I literally can't sleep...at all. Is this normal with Seroquel if you don't take it?

I also had a headache all night, that seems to have abated with some Aleve, so I pray that it stays that way.

i am so exhausted.

Definitely. It's one of the main reasons it's so hard to come off. Takes a long time once you come off it to be able to sleep properly again. Personally I've never been able to sleep without help (restoril and restavit) since I stopped taking it. I gave up trying. Some people manage it though - but it's hard.

I'm super angry right now
It's difficult to explain... but i'll try.

My phone number was in a business account of my previous employer.
I left this job in NOVEMBER, but they didn't delete my number so everyone kept calling me almost EVERY DAY.
Of course, i asked my ex-boss to delete my number. Again. And again. And again. No result!

Finally, today she answered: "There is NO your number. You're WRONG. STOP asking"
I lost patience... and tried to login myself. And... they didn't even change the password!

So i deleted my number. Finally. I was super angry and could do anything i wanted with their account and their buisiness. But i just deleted my number.

Now i hate my ex-boss.

I woke up with the flying theme song from E.T. stuck in my head

It's an epic and inspiring way to wake up I guess but it's a little too intense for what I want, which is just to curl up and go back to sleep

Morning couch. No response yet from t of course, I'm glad I stopped checking and went to bed last night. Now we'll see what today brings. I re-read the email I sent her, and it didn't make me cry like it kept doing last night. I feel settled about it. I do still wish she would just talk to me. I hate the feeling that somethings up with her but not knowing and because of that blaming it all on myself because I don't know what else to do. Anyway enough of that for now.

Sending hugs to those who want/need. Have a good day/night, couchies! I'm off to work shortly.

I thought she wanted to talk to you about the situation. I doubt she will talk to you about herself - but about the situation with you seems to be something you should be able to do in an appointment and that from what you wrote - she seemed open to doing.
You don't have to blame yourself or take it on yourself no matter what the therapist does. You each are, in my opinion, responsible only for your own reactions. No one can (or in my opinion - even should - I think it is both folly and overstepping to even try) stop another from their reaction. Taking care of yourself is not the same as hurting someone else. Therapists can take care of themselves.
I find that when people want to take care of my reactions - it is usually because it is something they are trying to control that is not theirs to control and/or they are trying to focus on me instead of themselves - and sometimes even because they want me to do the same at them. It seems so much simpler and direct if everyone just took responsibility for themselves and not someone else.
I don't know if I have written this in a way that makes sense.

Art - I hope today is more peaceful for you.

I know I know. She said she wanted to talk to me about scheduling. I just hate it all. Just venting. Sorry, y'all.

No need (if you were) to apologize to me. Venting is fine with me. I was just trying to say you can't control her (or anyone else's for that matter) reactions - only yourself and you can choose to not go into you are guilty nor do you need to apologize to her or here etc.

Really? That sucks. Good to know I'm not totally crazy in that I couldn't sleep. I really like it for sleep, and have been on it for years, and quite frankly don't ever feel like changing that.

You have my sympathy, Velcro. I take a different med for sleep and on the rare occasions I forget to take it, I can't sleep at all. The next day can be so hard because your body reacts not just to the sleep deprivation but also I suspect to the changed levels of the drug in your system.

I hope you get through the day okay.

I am waiting for my MRI & someone in the waiting room is clipping her nails. Maybe do that later?? Ugh.

My boss clips his at his desk. The sound drives me crazy.

Spouse is at work and I have 12 peaceful hours left of doing whatever the hell I want to try and get out of this hole.

This is a late reply, but we have a wire dog crate that we cut a cat sized hole in, and the litter box is in there. The crate keeps the dog out. The dogs would be quite confused if we ever used the crate to keep them in.