[SecretGarden]

Hi folks. I am heading in to therapy again or moreso, have been in the search. I have made an appt but not sure how I feel about the space. In my many years of therapy I have always gone to an office that was relatively private. One therapist, or one therapist and a lawyer. This new place has like 8-10 therapist and that will make it more public. What is your place like and how do you feel about private vs semi-private? In today's society it seems like we should not worry about being "out there" but it still makes me antsy.

[sunrise]

Hi, SG. Congrats on moving forward! What made you choose this therapist? Is it one person of several you will check out?

I have had 2 therapists. The first one had a waiting room shared by 3 therapists. There was no receptionist, and these 3 Ts were allied just by virtue of sharing space; they were not part of the same clinic. I was OK with it. Sometimes I would see another client in the waiting room. I never saw anyone I knew.

My second therapist has his own office and waiting room. No receptionist. I am very comfortable in his waiting room and sometimes fall asleep there while I'm waiting. (I don't think I'd feel comfortable enough doing that if it was a shared waiting room.) The only times I have waited there with other clients is when he has accidentally double booked. I have always liked his other clients that I have met and enjoyed talking with them. I have never intersected with anyone I knew.

Conclusion: I've had an OK experience with both private and semi-private. I don't think I would like it much if there was a receptionist. I would rather keep all my dealings with my T.

Good luck! Kind of exciting. I hope you will share more about the therapist and how you chose him/her, if you feel ready. Is it a him? Is it a her?

[Mouse_]

SG, I don't office therapy and am now in private therapy, I mean real private she works from home. For me I prefer it as private as I can get it and a receptionist wouldnt feel to comfortable for me.

My 1st two therapists worked out of their homes. I didn't like that. It distracts me too much. Gives me more stuff to think about that I don't want to think about!

My current T works out of a psychoanalytic center. Therapists rotate rooms depending on what is available. It really doesn't make a difference to me. I've been going there for two years so I am very familiar and comfortable in all the rooms.

I like this situation much better because as much as I'm beginning to not see T so much as a blank slate, I still prefer to see him in a blank slate-like setting. It's also just a cool environment because it's right here in the city (don't wanna have to drive out to the suburbs for therapy), and it's also a school that trains psychoanalysts.

I don't really care so much about feeling like I'm being put "out there" because it's more of a public environment. I even ran into one of my clients from my job in the waiting room once. It is nobody's business why I am there, I could be doing an internship for all they know.

The receptionist thing doesn't bother me at all. She doesn't even call T to let him know I'm there.... I used to be able to just go up to the room because we had the same one each week. Now that I've switched days we switch rooms from week to week so I wait for T to come down and get me.

Also, the receptionist does not deal with T's schedule. I only had to go through her when I was using the center's pdoc because she keeps his schedule... but all scheduling with T is done directly with him and does not involve a receptionist.

my therapist works with maybe... three or four others. i don't mind that. i figure that other people who might be in the waiting room (and that happens only rarely) are likely to be just as embarrassed about being seen there as i am.

before that i was mostly with community mental health. not so private at all lol. but same saga, we are all there for the same thing.

i did see a couple people for once off interviews in their homes. i didn't like that at all either. i figure it is more about feeling comfortable with the person, though.

[Perna]

I sometimes like the reassurance that there are "others" out there and I can "blend in" like it's nothing but other times when I'm a mess and doing the worst of my acting out :-) I prefer it be more private. When my T was away the first time for 6 weeks, I "forgot" when I was supposed to see her again. I figured out which day (I had been seeing her twice a week) and then took that day off work and went really early and sat in the hallway (it was in an apartment building), leaning against "our" door until she showed up! I think one would get too many comments if you tried doing that with a lot of people around :-)

[RACEKA]

I've been private and now I am out there. I feel more comfortable being out there. They do have appointment clerks, you can call or stop by for appointments. You pay before your appointment. You wait in a common waiting room. They have 2 adult rooms and a childrens room. It is a christian counseling center so you can also use the chapel.

It is very relaxing and calming. I feel very safe there. They have about 15 therapist and 1 pdoc. When you first call and tell them what you are looking for and you find the therapist you like then that's the therapist you continue to see. They have their own office so you will see them in their same place. The therapist will come and get you in the reception area when they are ready for you and take you to their office. They then walk you back when the session is over.

Being in a group like this the therapist has other therapist to consult with. He's not stuck with just what he knows. When he consults he doesn't say who's he's consulting about in anyway so it's definitely confidential. There's also a crisis counselor at all times in case of an emergency.

They also have speakers come in and have seminars so they can always be improving their expertise. They also have some kind of 2 year internship training. They are working now on starting group therapy's.

I just feel places like this have more options. When your in a office with one person your only learning from that one person.

I've been in all different kinds of situations.. as far as waiting rooms...
The really huge practices with a couple of waiting rooms that were inter-connected.. I didn't mind that at all very pleasant.. lost of magzines.. and you just gave your first name and your T and time to the receptionist.. so it was private.
The worse was a T in private practice.. in a building with no other therapists - there was a small computer company, massage therapists.. other businesses.. so you never knew what type of people you were going to encounter.. it was a shared waiting room..the walls were paper thin.. and you sessions weren't "private"..

The one I have now, he is in practice with another... and I love it.. they stagger there appointments so you don't run into people.. the exit is completely separate from the entrance.. also his office has a gas fireplace.. and his chair.. is a comfy.. recliner type deal.. but not all puffy.. smooth.. so he looks relaxed.. and there is a leather.. comfy couch for his clients.. it just makes me more relaxed..
I love it..

my pdoc is a huge, huge pratcice... but they make it very comfortable.. and they insure privacy from the actual offices by placing.. brick.. half walls.. and the people that wait there.. it just is comfy... magazines.. coffee.. the placement of waiting chairs and such... all is good..

[smiley1984]

I've been to both, and both are fine for me.
At the big centre at uni, I met one of my classmates in the waiting room one day (we were both skipping class to be there) but I think we both thought the same thing, instead of being interested in the fact that the other was there we were like oh my god she knows I'm here. We said hello and didn't say much but I am confident neither of us would gossip about it. If I told someone I saw her there, I would have to explain what I was doing there.

[MissCharlotte]

Hi Secret,

When I first went to T, he had the office suite on his own. Now he shares it with another T. I make my appointments with him only, and I don't ever even see the other T. I just know she's there because I saw her cards and her door was closed one week.

I wouldn't mind if he were in a group as long as I saw only him. What I would mind is if I had to go through a receptionist to make appointments or speak to him. That would definitely not work for me.

If I were shopping for a new T I would try to get a personal recommendation from someone. I would also try to make sure that the T practiced the type of therapy I am comfortable with.

Best of luck.

Peace

[SecretGarden]

I do not know Sister. I am nervous.....as is the norm these days. I have a feeling I do not want this person but maybe it is just the brand of therapy. I have had like 2 decades of psychotherapy and the hospital folks say I need to go in a new direction. But I need support and I am SOOOOO confused.

I am also so angry at my last pdoc and at myself. I digress.

I have a new thread-a-coming. I just know it. Cling-ons... the title. Stay tuned.

My last doc gave me recommendations but they are more of the same. I got this gentleman recommended by my EAP when I mentioned DBT.

[SecretGarden]

I do not like the idea of a receptionist either and this place has one or three I am sure. I am not sure what I want and how to shop Sunny. Maybe I need to go in a different direction...sorry nervous.

How does one shop and how does one know what works. I thought it was working with my last pdoc but now I know that there were somethings that were not working. I sure did not know it nor (I think) did he.

HELP. It is thought that I need to wait a bit but I am finishing my partial program I think next week and I am afraid of being out with no support.

However..... I am embarrassed to say that with this illness I have a tendency to glom (?) on to people.....and I am having problems not doing this.

Did you shop and how did you do it? I do not have a private office at work so this is difficult tho folks do know pretty much without saying why I have been out.

The thing about a him or her.... that scares me too. I have had 2 hims but have lots of mother issues so not sure if I want a her. I just really want to just become sane again.

[SecretGarden]

That rotating room thing would wierd me out Pink. I have thought that before when you have mentioned it.

This guy does his own scheduling but I do not know about contacting him. I have talked to the scheduling/intake person 3 times so far and I am not sure about asking anything else.

[SecretGarden]

This was interesting in that I gave them info like dx and ins and work and home address and she said I will call and let you know who you get. There is some comfort in that and some worry. But this guy had been recommended to me earlier.

Thanks for your thoughts Raceka. I do like the idea of the different expertises in the practice though I also do not want everyone knowing my business.

Gee this site is good for working things through.

[sunrise]

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SecretGarden said:
I have a feeling I do not want this person but maybe it is just the brand of therapy.

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SG, why did you choose this person if you think you don't want him? What is the brand of therapy? You can always go meet him and ask his ideas for therapy and see if they resonate with you.

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Did you shop and how did you do it?

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No, I didn't shop. With my first counselor, I was too far gone. I needed immediate help and support and went through my EAP and took the first person who agreed to meet with me. Frankly, I could have talked to a dog. With my second (current) therapist, I was done with the first, out of therapy for a while, but profoundly stuck and needing to move forward. A family member found his name through a friend of hers who is a divorce lawyer. The lawyer gave her my therapist's name and number as someone who had helped many people take the first steps toward divorce. Sounded like what I needed so I called. What was there to lose? I liked him immediately. I asked him very few questions because I didn't know what I needed. I relied on a lot of intangibles, such as how he made me feel, and his warmth and empathy. He projected confidence and gave me hope at the first session, which helped my depression; he talked about healing, which I liked; and he had some insights into why experiences from my childhood were affecting my ability to end the marriage. So, really, what was critical for me was getting a good recommendation, and what I learned from my T at our very first session. I think it is good the guy you will see has been recommended to you.

[SecretGarden]

I could talk to a dog right now too.

I feel overwhelmed in many areas and hope that this will work out.

I need to keep my job but am burned out. Help.

[Perna]

I would maybe do a few sessions of online work to help me sort things out enough to not glom on to just anyone (or a dog :-) and to figure out the "order" I wanted to do things in and maybe a schedule plus how to be comfortable enough with my job, make the burn out lift enough, long enough to get some other stabilities so I could address that problem and other practical ones like it, etc.

http://www.etherapistsonline.com/ (http://psychcentral.com/resources/detailed/2338.html)

http://www.metanoia.org/imhs/ongoing.htm (I've used this listing twice with good results)

http://www.asktheinternettherapist.com/e-therapy.asp

[SecretGarden]

Do they take insurance?

I do not know how to not glom on to someone. It is like a confession and not one to be proud of.

[ECHOES]

I have had both, but mostly I have gone to groups or clinics with common waiting rooms. In my experience, the common waiting room is fine. Often there is a television in there that nearly everyone focuses on. And as all waiting rooms there are the piles of stupid magazines available (whoever decided that I want to read about Golf or fly-fishing while waiting for my session?!?) ...

The staff I've dealt with has been very pleasant and professional. They are there for the business part of it; appointment scheduling, insurance matters, collecting copays. The one community clinic I went to in Ohio had a great receiptionist who I enjoyed talking with very much. She was very upbeat and made me smile.

The others in the waiting room.. are nervous, contemplating their appointment about to take place, sometimes talkative, always pleasant. Just like you!

Where I go now it is a group of therapists and a pdoc or two who rent offices there and some share the administrative staff. My therapist doesn't share the staff and there is no signing in or anything; I just sit till she comes out to get me. I don't much care to talk to others there, so I have a book with me or simply sit and think and often practice some breathing exercises because being relaxed helps me think and helps the session be more productive.

How to shop. You have shopped for now, I think. You went to EAP and shopped that way and got a recommendation. Give give him a try? I think seeing the person a few times is part of the shopping. Do you remember when I saw Dr M? It took a while but I discovered she wasn't what I wanted so I refined my search then, knowing more about what I wanted.

You can go with this new T now and make changes whenever you might want to, if you find you want to. This is about you and what feels good to you and what works for you.

((((((( SecretGarden )))))))