Tell us about your good T 👧

My T and I ended our time last week as she's moving out of town but she is a 'good one.'

Found my through a coworker/friend.
LPC. About 15 years experience, I believe. She worked at a rehab clinic for a while and got her Masters later in life.
I paid a copay but I think her actual fee was about 150 an hour.
Mid 40s. About my age.
She is gestalt and Humanistic(?) I think. She does children's and play therapy.
She does a lot of 'body' work, mindfulness breathing and 'asking what (that body part) is saying or 'needs' kinda thing. I never really could get that down but It taught me to be more aware of the stress cues in my body and to 'listen' to them.

The first few months of sessions felt very 'blank slate' she would just listen and affirm and feedback for the most part. Later on she lent some personal anecdotes, at first very cautiously and only in context of the subject matter. Towards the end it felt more friendly and our last chatting was very friendly and informal.

All sessions were very informal. No set plan. Just whatever was on my mind. She would never 'call back" to a previous session unless I brought it up. Sometimes she didn't even remember details of my life but did remember big themes and the things that hurt me.

End of session hugs were a regular thing.
Any contact of the physical kind was very boundary conscious and step by step permission asked only. "Can I sit next to you.... ?" etc.

She was pretty damn intuitive about a lot of things. I barely had to speak for her to read me. i really do feel almost like we had a non-verbal connection. There were times I could read her as well, and sometimes would ask if she was okay — but she'd never let on - or allow the focus to be on her.

I came to make friends with someone she knew from a previous job, and it turns out know a few people in common. I wouldn't say we had common interest but common sensibility about stuff, if that makes sense.

Both my Ts are good enough for me in different ways.

L is a zero-nonsense lady, psychology PhD. 61 years old. Her full rate is $200 but she charges $100 or sometimes less depending on my situation. My insurance does not cover. I found her in a strange circumstance- I'd been inpatient and hated the pdoc they'd assigned to me for aftercare, and I knew a professor of mine who was in therapy, so I asked her who she saw. So now we both go to L. I love her, she's this great mix of tough and compassionate and uncoddling. She has killer style and goes to Burning Man every September. I have absolutely no clue what her modality is, we just sort of talk, centered around analysis. I do know her research is in sexual trauma and she only has a few clients- most of her work is as an expert witness in court cases. Once we did hypnosis. Occasionally she does some CBT-style behavior/routine changing type things when she notices I'm starting to get depressed or hypomanic. She just told me she's moving across the country next summer so we'll be entering a termination phase. I'm devastated, but I've also worked with her four years and have gotten the sense that I'm just about nearing the extent of the work we can do together, so maybe the timing is perfect.

I want to cook dinner now. Maybe I'll come back and write about M but you guys hear about him all the time.

Haven't read through this thread yet...but answering anyway.

Where did you find them? Like all my T's, through my insurance company. Though, for my current T, I contacted the T who's office she shares with. That T didn't have any openings when I could come in, but suggested my current T. I am so glad that T didn't work out, because I love my current T.

How much do they cost? I pay the co-pay for my insurance, which is $25 per session.

What training? I've previously only seen Phd T's, and was a bit worried because this T was "only" a social worker. I am glad that I went to that first session, anyway.

What modalities? No clue, though today she did say she takes a more humanistic approach to psychotherapy. She also has mentioned Jung a few times in reference to the shadow.

How old/experienced are they? She is 7 years older than me, 42, so relatively young(ish) for me. I think she's been practicing for about 14 or 15 years.

I've been in therapy with her for 2 years, and a lot of it has been riding the waves of depression, but she did encourage me to try out a sport and whole social network that I did for about a year. I don't think I would have done it without her encouragement and continued encouragement whenever I faltered and wanted to quit. Unfortunately, I still did, and she is workign on trying to get me to go back, because she thinks it was good for me.

For me, "progress" is a slippery thing. I've never had a goal I was trying to work towards, which drives me batty...but I have no sense of myself in the future. It is very complicated, and something we are trying to work through.

That being said...I knew after the 1st session that I liked her. I did not feel that way previously with my last long-term T (I questioned it the entire 5 years of therapy), or my EMDR-T, though she was nice enough. They both were.

My current T understood where I was at really quickly, and maybe because she's closer to my age, is super laid back and chill, but also relatively open about her life and isn't afraid to bring herself into therapy. My last T was much more blank slate, but was SO even-keeled and silent on her thoughts that I projected so much of my fears on her, but she could never make me feel better about, mostly because I sat in silent fear all the time.

My current T draws me out with humor, or sharing a story from her life, and generally asking more questions. She knows I will avoid most things at all costs, and has been able to get me to open up much more, more quickly by letting me know all topics are okay. She has brought up some hard stuff that she suspected, and was so cool with the topics, that has made it easier for me to continue talking about. See the In Session thread from tonight to see an example.

Yes! My T too. Her memory is AMAZING, about 1,000 times better than mine.

Misquote (but I'm not mad)

Thanks for clearing that up! I.e., that its your t that remembers stuff; blanche was just at the top of the quote. Sometimes the delete button gets away from me in quotes and i just say eff it.

I've been in and out of therapy a lot over the years, but I never really found one I clicked with until my current one.

She specializes in sex therapy and has been in practice for 16 years. She has her PhD and is a LCSW. I actually found her because she writes for a magazine and I just happened to come across her article that was relevant to my life.

She was the first T to see past my false exterior and see that I actually had issues. I also felt unhappy and off and she was able to help me figure out what the issues were and she's been fantastic in helping me through them.

She genuinely cares about my well being and she's rigid, yet flexible with boundaries enough that I can trust her but not so much that I'm ever worried about abusing her flexibility.

She's also willing to work with my quirks and insecurities (I assume more Ts should do that, but she's really the first person to embrace that in a way that's healing).

She charges $130 for a session (sessions are generally 50-90 minutes depending on topic covered), doesn't take insurance, but for the work that I'm accomplished and what I've gained, it's well worth it.

Current T is an LPC masters level practitioner. She was a nurse before. She's been practicing 20+ years and is in her early 50s.

Her rate with my insurance is about $72 but my copay is only $25.

I can barely remember the first session. I thought she was a little woo woo for me but something made me come back. A very non woo woo friend had recommended her.

She's got the unconditional positive regard down pat. She does actually care about me. She can handle my strong emotions and has handled my SI and SH in the past. Nothing I did or said during the first six months fazed her so then I decided to trust her with what was really going on. We're moving towards three years working together. I'll probably stay another three years.

She is available by email most days and that is important to me although I have only contacted her outside of session on a handful of occasions.

Oh and she remembers everything we talk about, which makes me feel heard.

My previous T, who terminated the relationship, gave me a few references. I chose the one who was the most empathic and understanding when I talked to him on the phone. I have insurance and I pay $ 20.00s a session. I am not sure how much he charges without insurance. I believe he is in his late sixties and I believe he has been practicing over at least thirty years.

He has a PHd. in the psychology field, (I think it's in clinical psychology).
As time has passed in these four years or so, we both feel that we work well together as we both have said this out loud. I have BPD (unfortunately), depression, anxiety, and he generally works with people with D.I.D. He is very empathic, kind, and understanding. He understands my diagnosis which helps me feel understood. He is never shocked or upset by the way I feel. (Well, lol, he may be but doesn't say it or show it). He validates my emotions. He listens to me. I am allowed to text him and he consistently responds to me (Which I haven't done in awhile). I am truly getting better, although I will never be cured.

I started seeing my first wonderful T when I was a graduate student, aeons ago, so cost isn't relevant as I was a student, and later in his private practice paid very little on a sliding scale. A faculty friend recommended him, and I did research on him. He was the Director of my University's counseling services then, and later, he shifted to be the Chief Psychologist and Director of Training for the graduate and post doc interns. He also had a private practice, served on the State Board of Psychology, and did Court consultations. He was in his early 50's, with @ 20 yrs experience when I started. He was only 32 when he was hired to run the service; bit of a wunderkind.

His PhD was in Counseling Psychology and he was Board certified. Counseling Psych focuses less on diagnosis of illness, and sees many difficulties in relation to child and life development stages and situations. What this meant for me is that he was absolutely non-pathologizing. His theoretical background was in psychodynamic and CBT, with a practice emphasis in short-term application of psychoanalytic theories.

What made him a wonderful T for me, beyond his competence and skill as a clinician, was his patience and attunement. He was extremely observant with a phenomenal memory. He was measured and thoughtful in his interactions with me. Very non-reactive, very ethical (he wrote the Code of Ethics for my state--there wasn't one previously). So clinically, he was very astute, considered, gentle. But as the years went on, it was his authenticity toward me as he extended himself to me as a father which was exactly what I needed at the time. As importantly, he has remained in my life for the many years since therapy ended.

How I know the therapy "worked" is that I developed a self over the course of therapy, independent of my FOO and their control of me. I went from being a grad student into getting my first couple of jobs, went from struggling with a fearfulness like agoraphobia to moving overseas to work for many years.

Now 20+ years since therapy with him ended, I've started seeing a woman psychologist who's 72. She has @ 40 yrs experience, her degree is in Clinical Psych. My insurance covers her fee with no copay. I'm in a very different place in my life and my concerns are about current life stressors. We both feel past issues were worked through successfully, so this experience, while mindful of the past, is very different in character. How I found her was to first look who would accept my insurance, then evaluate what I knew about various practitioners' reputations, took into account my preferences to see someone in private practice, close in age or older than me. I saw her name and realized I had some connection to her through my first T: they shared office space occasionally. I knew he wouldn't even enter into an office sharing arrangement with someone he didn't respect, so that gave me the nudge to call her. How she returned my call later the same day and how it felt during the first session settled the choice.

Oops, no idea how that happened!

Maybe your therapists can give CW a few tricks? Her memory was especially bad last night.

It was a multiquote.

My T is a PhD psychologist at my university's counseling clinic. She worked at the clinic last year as an intern and she just finished her first full year as a full-time therapist. She is 30. My former T at the clinic referred me to her because she thought we would get along (she was right). Because I see T through my university, it costs $10 per session but I am limited to 16 sessions per year and don't get to see her regularly -- I'm at the mercy of her schedule. She can't deny patients.

As for what makes her a good therapist: she fights back against me. I don't really know how to explain why that's a good thing. I am my own biggest roadblock and I need to fight against myself but I don't and she does it for me. She doesn't accept "I don't know" as an answer -- she wants me to sit with a question or with an emotion and really think about it. Not use "I don't know" as avoidance. And if I really don't know, then I have to think about WHY I don't know. This may sound dull but it's so helpful (albeit frustrating sometimes).
And I just really feel like we "click." I feel lucky for that. We have similar personalities. We read each other well.

Male, 34 y.o.
Work experience: about 12 years as a psychiatrist. As a T...Not sure. Five?
He charges about 30$ per session.
I found him occasionally. I called to the first available clinic crying, and receptionist said "I'd recommend you to see {T's name}. Very good specialist".

Why he's the best for me? The most important thing - he LISTENS. No one ever listened to me. I mean - without judgement. He's amazing. Sometimes i can't say something difficult... and he says that for me. So he knows me very well.

Also he's very interesting, funny, supportive, careful etc.
Beautiful

I have what I call a standby therapist. KL is in her seventies and her main modality is psychodynamic. KL has her doctorate and is an LMFT. I asked my former therapist to find someone to do phone sessions while dealing with aging and and ailing parents one summer. She had recently dealt with her own parents and the loss of a child. She is very good at helping me negotiate when I am with them and when at a distance. When I am in my childhood trappings she is a beacon of light that guides me back home so I don't get lost in the guilt of not taking care of parents 24/7.

We would have 1-2/60 minute sessions per week along with a few emails. Sometimes it was that bad.

For a couple months I saw her twice a week for double sessions to sort out the parental care issues. My family does not see eye to eye.

This year I have been overseas for several months and I email her, along with friends and family every couple weeks to share my progress. She always responds. She has helped keep me steady in my chosen path and to secure the funding.

When I have in person or extended phone sessions I pay her what I can when I can. At one point that was less than $13.00/hour when my finances took a momentary dive. I met another one of her clients that paid $5.00 an hour for two years ~15 years ago. I did tell her if I ever win the lottery I will pay her appropriately. I got a lottery ticket as a gift and won $42.00 and gave her half which she accepted gratefully. KL is a wonderful therapist and is still at it because she loves what she does.

And is so unlike my previous therapist in therapeutic practice and personality, though they are friends. She thinks my ex therapist is a hoot. She is very open to answering personal questions, but I've never had a need to ask any. (Boy, have I come a long way.) I told her I internet "stalked" her by PC standards. She doesn't understand why the term is used, but decided long ago that being a closed book does not help most clients.

I have really lucked out when it comes to therapist, but I don't feel a need or want for therapy anymore. I'm in a good place.

I started working with my therapist in January of 2013. I do not know her exact age but I know she is in her mid 40s. Modality: psychodynamic. She is trained and certified to incorporate bioenergetics with therapy. She is a LMHC with a Masters degree. She does not take insurance but fortunately she does sliding scale with me, I pay her 80.00 per session and at the end of the month she will email a receipt for me to submit to my insurance. I found her through google.. she popped up several times in my search for a therapist. I had a good feeling about her. We have had some ruptures over the years.. moreso in the first three years. We still have bumps in the road every so often but we work through them all. There are some things that frustrate me such as some of her boundaries but it is starting to feel like she is loosening them up just a bit. I have stuck with her because she is consistently there, never cancels on me without much advance notice. She is caring and it feels like we have a good therapeutic bond. There is still work to be done but I feel like I've made some nice progress with her.