For those of you have kept in touch after therapy...how did you initiate it?

I recently terminated with my Therapist because she is moving out of state.

I know some people do stay in touch with former Therapists, even if it's just a check in and catch up kind of thing. So I guess I'm asking those who have done this sort of thing, how did you initiate it?

Our last session was very emotional for us both (mostly me of course but she shed some tears, too) It was also a very positive moment of connection. There was much said that affirms that T would be okay with keeping in touch but I didn't really lay out a ground work. I didn't say or ask, "can I send you an email sometime?" or anything like that.

She is a very ethical person and I know she will probably not reach out to me, and I assume that's frowned up for good reasons as it should be up to me. I also have read that some rules out there say no contact for a Year or something but that didn't even come up .

In all probability, I will never see her face to face again and I'm wondering if down the line I can send her some kind of letter or email just to keep in touch.

If you have her email address, I would just send her a short message asking if it would be okay for you to contact her occasionally (maybe specify what you're thinking -- every six months? once a year?) to stay in touch. Your T likely has thought about how/whether she feels comfortable with contact after terminating therapy, so your request won't seem weird.

I stayed in touch with my former T from the time I graduated and moved away until a few months before she died (about nine years total). I contacted her more often at first (every few months) and less as time went by (every few years). It was really meaningful for me to be able to access that connection with her, even as my life moved on. She didn't request a year break or anything. I think that might apply more if you're planning to be socially involved with each other, but I don't see occasional email updates as being the same as starting a friendship.

ETA: I don't remember how the subject was broached. I'm guessing she told me at one of our last sessions that it would be okay to contact her occasionally if I wanted to. I can't imagine that I would have asked her back then because I would have been too afraid she would say no. I'm really glad it happened, though.

Thank you for your reply.

I guess I feel shy about it. I don't know why. She pretty much said we could keep in touch and even 'friended' me on Facebook, saying she would enjoy seeing my updates and such. I'm reading too much into it, I guess. (No surprise there)

I guess I should just text her and ask if I can send her an update every now and then, not expecting a reply. It's a bit raw right now and she's literally in the process of moving, so I might give it some time.

If she's okay with being Facebook friends, then I would be extremely surprised if she objected to the occasional letter or email update. It's probably wise to wait until after her move, though, just so your message doesn't get lost in the shuffle. I'm sorry to hear that things are still kind of raw, though.

wow you are lucky, i wish my T would do FB but thats one of his boundaries, no FB with clients.

however I'm only a few months in, maybe when i leave it will be different

anyway good luck.

The therapist called me and invited me to an activity.

Yes, I was a bit surprised myself. I understand this is a boundary for a lot of therapists and an understandable one. Even for former clients, it is a risky venture because a client could be disillusioned by seeing their T's 'real life' or politics, or whatever goes on Facebook. I am guessing the catch here is 1.) of course, I'm no longer her client and 2.) She's moving across the country so there's no chance of us becoming 'friends' in real life, anyway.

When I asked if I could have a picture of her, she said yes but also, via Facebook, she said, "then you can have lots of pictures of me."

I can tell she's made a conscious effort to be aware of what she posts too. It's literally, ENTIRELY images of her friends and her family. No political posts, no rants, no "liked" articles. Very little text posts at all.

So her Facebook is really a more distant thing than any actual contact.

Since she FB friended you, I wouldn't be worried at all about sending her the occasional letter or email. Years ago, I moved out of state when I was with a t I really liked. A few months after I moved, I mailed her a letter, just letting her know how much I had appreciated all she had done and a bit of an update. I was surprised to get a letter back from her. It was short; can't recall what it said now. I was going to send her another letter later on, but then never did.