After my session today, I feel horrible. I feel like I'm never going to get better because of what my therapist said.

She never said anything mean or insulting. I asked her to tell me the truth and she did. And the truth is that I have more problems than I think, and that I am very troubled. (She didn't explicitly say that, but she kept pointing out everything I'm struggling with, and it was A LOT of stuff.) She also "reminded" me that some of my disorders, like bipolar, are biological and will never go away. I know that's all true, but it makes me feel hopeless knowing there is nothing I can do about it besides try to do the best I can to cope.

This is not an attack against her. She's very nice and fair, and I like her a lot. When I ask her to be honest, she is. But I guess I have to hear the truth at some point.. so I'm glad she is one of the few people I can trust to tell me the truth. The truth just hurts sometimes.

I feel very low. It was triggering. Must I get triggered in order to get better? Is part of the process facing your triggers? It must be

[Travelinglady]

I'm sorry, bluebicycle. It used to make me upset when one therapist I had said my ailments could only be "managed, not cured." I like to think that there's hope that cures/better treatments can be found in my lifetime--or even very soon. All that about not curing is depressing!

[BudFox]

The notion of "very troubled" is entirely subjective. Why does her judgement on this trump yours?

If she contends that bipolar is biological, ask for her evidence of that. Doesn't exist.

To be honest what you describe sounds dangerously pathologizing and stigmatizing and defeating. Almost sadistic. And none of it is based on anything objective.

Originally Posted by BudFox

The notion of "very troubled" is entirely subjective. Why does her judgement on this trump yours?

If she contends that bipolar is biological, ask for her evidence of that. Doesn't exist.

To be honest what you describe sounds dangerously pathologizing and stigmatizing and defeating. Almost sadistic. And none of it is based on anything objective.

I agree. I think asking for explanations to such claims should be legitimate.

[healinginprogress]

:: I think chronic illness is hard to deal with no matter if it's physical or mental. Even when information is provided gently and with care it can be overwhelming when it's unexpected or even heavy.

I'm not sure that you have to be triggered to heal, but it's bound to happen just by living. Since you trust your T, I would say that these feelings are probably good to explore with her.

It sounds like you're grieving and that sounds like a pretty normal response to the information you were given.

[healinginprogress]

Originally Posted by BudFox

And none of it is based on anything objective.

I'm curious why you think that?

[Anastasia~]

The biological stuff makes me feel helpless also. As therapy has progressed, I feel less like a victim of my own pathology and others'. IT sometimes makes me really angry. And sometimes it is what it is and I move forward regardless.

I think that therapy naturally brings up triggers, at least for me it has. It has helped me to learn when I am being triggered so I can be aware of how I react. And it has cause the intensity of many triggers to be lessened.

Having a trustworthy, empathic, consistent T is of paramount importance, imo. To cope with triggers, I often would write down what was going on within and then share it with him the next session. I hope you are feeling better. Take care.

[mostlylurking]

That does sound hard to hear, bluebicycle. It was brave of you to ask, and to listen through it. I hope you don't mind if I share some things I've read or learned, I don't mean to sound like I'm giving a lecture.

Even disorders that we think of as biological or genetic often have correlations with trauma, including, for instance, schizophrenia and bipolar. Abuse in childhood is often a predictor for earlier onset or more symptoms or more rapid cycling in bipolar or more psychosis symptoms in schizophrenia, etc. Personally, I feel this has to mean that therapy for past traumas could also be healing, and could greatly lessen the effects of bipolar or schizophrenia. Colin Ross is an MD psychiatrist and researcher who has a fair bit of data to support that idea, that substantial healing is possible even for the biological disorders. There's also a lot of research on neuroplasticity and epigenetics, which involve the ideas that psychological healing could shift brain function or even the expression of certain genes.

A few decades ago they thought there was no recovery possible after someone had had a stroke. That certainly isn't our thinking now, when people have strokes we put them into physical therapy, speech therapy, etc. So, in the past, sometimes the professionals have been known to be overly pessimistic.

But I don't think any of us should minimize our own struggles, because seeing them fully is part of having self compassion. Perhaps you could re-frame what she said as a list of all the things you are struggling through and somehow dealing with. You're getting on with it, and good on you. It shows you work hard, and you should cut yourself some slack maybe? Maybe this could help you be kind to yourself, if thought of in the right way. But I don't think we should feel defeated by diagnoses, because nobody knows the future for certain, and often -- historically -- more healing is possible than the professionals have been trained to think.

Great post ^ ML.
Was glad to come across it.

BB, maybe next time your T could discuss this with you in a way that's more hopeful rather than hopeless.

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by healinginprogress

I'm curious why you think that?

Implying that someone has a lot of problems or is troubled is obviously entirely subjective.

There is no test that can confirm a diagnosis of Bipolar. So to claim it is biological AND will never go away, that is crazy talk. If the therapist has no data to back this up, it's just unsubstantiated opinion. Just to be clear, I am not saying the afflictions of mania and depression aren't real, just that causal factors are poorly understood.