[ElectricManatee]

A while back I asked my T if she had ever been depressed, and she declined to respond. I wanted to know mostly so I could figure out if she understands what I'm going through from training/experience or from the inside, so to speak. I was sort of irritated that she wouldn't tell me, but I try to respect why she might not. And in the absence of any confirmation that she has been depressed, I have to assume that she hasn't and over-explain what I'm going through accordingly. (She has a metaphor for depression that sort of matches my experience but sort of doesn't, so I've spent a lot of time on the sort of doesn't aspects of it.)

So my question is whether you know about your T's current or past mental health issues (or lack thereof) and how you feel about it. If you know, do you wish you didn't? If you don't know, do you wish you did? Does knowing make you feel closer to your T or burdened by the information? Do you not care at all? Sometimes I wish I knew more about my T's human vulnerabilities so I wouldn't feel so alone with mine, but sometimes I appreciate not having to worry about those parts of her.

[LonesomeTonight]

My individual T has never disclosed anything about her mental health, and she seems pretty mentally healthy. It was harder to trust her at first, since I just had this sense she had some perfect life.

My marriage counselor disclosed early on that he has an anxiety disorder, plus, later, some issues from childhood with his father being emotionally unavailable. His disclosing that made me trust him more and made me feel like he could understand me better (anxiety is one of my main issues) because it's not just from what he's learned, but from personal experience. I definitely do feel like he understands me better than T (I think I puzzle her sometimes, him less so). I'm not sure if it's because of the mental illness, general personality, learning/experience (though T has 15 years of that on him), but probably some mix of all of those.

Not a mental health condition, exactly, but I also did know he was grieving the loss of his wife earlier this year. He hadn't intended to tell us, and at the time I didn't understand that. But now, I get it, because there were a few things I was reluctant to bring up because of stuff he later told us about her health issues (once we'd learned she'd passed). It did help me understand why he seemed sort of different for a few months there--otherwise I would have assumed it was more to do with me. So I guess it was both good and bad.

So to me, learning about past or lifelong mental illness struggles--good. Learning about an a acute period going on during the course of therapy--maybe less good.

I've asked them. I ask all my therapists that because my first clinical psychologist was really ignorant. Thus far, all of them have said they've never experienced depression or anxiety (as "issues" and also as psychiatric "disorder" diagnoses)

[anais_anais]

I don't know about one of my Ts beyond that she has some unspecified learning disorder, which is helpful to keep in mind when she makes scheduling errors, but doesn't have any effect otherwise.

For the other, he disclosed once that he had struggled with severe depression at some point not so long ago- it was in a conversation where I was upset and he was trying to show that his empathy for me was genuine. I found it helped, I was picturing him previously as some fake person, or like God maybe, with a perfect life, telling me how to fix mine. The information did not feel like a burden, though I could understand why it might have.

[MrsDuckL]

I see where you're coming from, and I could imagine that finding a therapist who has been through similar issues would be helpful.

My two cents--it's never been something I've thought to ask. For me personally, I felt like finding someone who specialized in what I'm dealing with (trauma, pstd) was more important. I don't expect my therapist to have gone through what I did or been in the same situation, nor have I ever sought out people who have had a similar upbringing. Hearing firsthand accounts of others who also lived through a similar abusive childhood is way too triggering for me and something I go to great lengths to avoid. (It's how I successfully got to my mid 30s and never dealt with my issues--living in denial is a great way to stay stable, haha.)

I've never asked, but I assume my therapist had spent a fair amount of time on my side of the couch--he's a gay man whose mom is also a clinical psychologist, so I always assume there's no way he hasn't been through a ton of therapy himself. ;-)

[ElectricManatee]

Originally Posted by MrsDuckL

I see where you're coming from, and I could imagine that finding a therapist who has been through similar issues would be helpful.

My two cents--it's never been something I've thought to ask. For me personally, I felt like finding someone who specialized in what I'm dealing with (trauma, pstd) was more important. I don't expect my therapist to have gone through what I did or been in the same situation, nor have I ever sought out people who have had a similar upbringing. Hearing firsthand accounts of others who also lived through a similar abusive childhood is way too triggering for me and something I go to great lengths to avoid. (It's how I successfully got to my mid 30s and never dealt with my issues--living in denial is a great way to stay stable, haha.)

I've never asked, but I assume my therapist had spent a fair amount of time on my side of the couch--he's a gay man whose mom is also a clinical psychologist, so I always assume there's no way he hasn't been through a ton of therapy himself. ;-)

I definitely agree with people who say that they would never see a therapist who has never been in therapy. My T has told me that she has been in therapy before, even without sharing a specific diagnosis.

[Ellahmae]

I know Duchess' complete history. I know nothing about pdoc (now she needs a name).

[healed84]

Yes, two conditions specifically have come up over the last 5 years we've worked together. It doesn't bother me to know, and it is helpful to hear that he struggles and even how he copes sometimes.

I think ts who refuse to share are setting clients up to idealize.. or be ashamed because the t seems "perfect" and doesn't have issue. When that isn't reality at all.

My T told me that she hasn't experienced what I have ezperienced. I found it helpful that she told me that.

[yagr]

I hear a lot of this within the addiction community, even among addiction counselors. i.e. If you're not an addict or alcoholic, then how can you understand? Too, many alcoholics and addicts feel better about working with someone who inspires them by having 'beaten' this thing themselves. I get it. Don't know that I agree, but I get it. I mean, I can't throw away the 'inspirational' element out of the mix - if you're inspired by one counselor because they have twenty years clean and sober, but not inspired by a second counselor because they've never faced addiction personally, then you should probably go with counselor number one, but it becomes more about your personal prejudices and beliefs than about the counselor's competency at that point. I know that the word 'prejudice' carries a negative tone for most people - didn't mean it that way, just meant it matter of factly.

My therapist is awesome. I've had quite a few and have seen this one enough times (perhaps 100 sessions) to make that determination. I know more or less nothing about her mental health history although she has dropped some tidbits of information over the time I've seen her and she knows that I pick up on everything she says - or doesn't say. Such is the blessing and the bane of hyper-vigilance.

For instance, she has told me that she was in counseling before - though she has also mentioned that seeing a counselor was part of her requirements for all students while getting her degree. She has a beautiful picture of her and her young son on her office wall. I commented that it implied a beautiful relationship between mother and son. She quite deliberately shared with me that both her and her husband had often commented that they wish their relationships with their parents had been like that. Things like that.

There are other things. I try to explain something and then she comes up with a completely off the wall, out of left field, and unexpected example that describes how I am thinking or feeling better than I did, letting me know that she really, really gets it.

So I know a little, but chief among the things I know is that my life is better since I've began seeing her.

[zoiecat]

I don't know for sure but I'm assuming my therapist has had therapy for something it's usually a requirement when they're in school but quite frankly I wouldn't want a therapist to have had the same problems I do. Number one because my issues could trigger them and cause countertransference and that could end the therapy if they feel that they can't handle my issues any longer. Also, he's a man so its very doubtful that he's had the same abuse issues that I've had. I also don't think I would want to see a therapist that has DID. So at this point I'm just glad that my therapist specializes in all the things that I need. I have a great one and I'm very happy with that.

I hypothesize that...RoboT...was depressed or had clinical anxiety at one point in his life. I don't know that he would qualify now, he seems pretty mentally healthy. But I also know that he's been in therapy forever.

I know about his trauma history. It's been helpful in some moments and unhelpful in others. I've felt both empowered knowing that I'm not the only person in the world who deals with things like I have, but I've also had the caretaker response kick in.

[kecanoe]

T3 has told me that she dissociates, but not like me. The implication was that I dissociate to a greater degree than she ever has.

T1 has shared a couple of insights from past therapy, and has said that depression runs in his family. But he has never said he was clinically depressed.

I don't think I would ask, but I don't ask many questions about my ts.

My ex-PDoc shared quite openly that he is in recovery from alcoholism. That was helpful to me, we have about the same number of years of sobriety. It was helpful when he wanted me to take Xanax-I was pretty surprised that he wanted me on it and pretty resistant. Knowing that he understood addiction both from personal experience as well as that being his psychiatric specialty made it possible for him to convince me to take the Xanax.

[Out There]

One more than the other is a bit more revealing. I think the " blank slate " is maybe getting out of date and does set the client up to idealise or feel ashamed. And it makes me more inclined to say things. I remember one session where my T kept dropping things - we just laughed and I said " Oh , I had one of those dropping everything days the other day ! " Like we all do. But he aimed to be human , not God , so he couldn't fail. I think he understands me very well as he's been through similar.

[yagr]

Originally Posted by zoiecat

Also, he's a man so its very doubtful that he's had the same abuse issues that I've had. I also don't think I would want to see a therapist that has DID.

This made me giggle a bit....in a light hearted way. My therapist has wondered aloud why I am not a therapist myself and encouraged me to consider it. She has promised me a room in her offices if I decide that I want to and figure out a way to do so. A year later, I am on my way. Yesterday I quit my job and went to the school I'll be attending to figure out how I'm going to make this happen.

I'm also a man with DID.

[MobiusPsyche]

My first long time T did not disclose any diagnosis nor having been in therapy. My current long term T dismissed having had a depression diagnosis in the past and having been through therapy. Both of them helped me a lot and I don't think the disclosure made much difference.

[InnerPeace111]

I do not know about my T's current or past mental health status. I cannot imagine I'd ever be privy to such information. At this stage of my life, I take more comfort in her trying to understand what my experiences and feelings were/are like for me. I am choosing to view her as a human being who has experienced all of my same feelings but just under different circumstances.

Originally Posted by QuietMind

I've asked them. I ask all my therapists that because my first clinical psychologist was really ignorant. Thus far, all of them have said they've never experienced depression or anxiety (as "issues" and also as psychiatric "disorder" diagnoses)

I'd like to add that I know current T has a therapist and a clinical supervisor and a peer consultation group and her not having had mental health issues isn't a problem, as she's pretty sharp, empathic and effective.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by yagr

This made me giggle a bit....in a light hearted way. My therapist has wondered aloud why I am not a therapist myself and encouraged me to consider it. She has promised me a room in her offices if I decide that I want to and figure out a way to do so. A year later, I am on my way. Yesterday I quit my job and went to the school I'll be attending to figure out how I'm going to make this happen.

I'm also a man with DID.

You certainly seem to have the necessary qualities to be a T yagr. I think you would be a wonderful therapist.... compassionate, kind, accepting, and wise.

[Erebos]

Most T's go through therapy of their own, its supposed to be part of the process.

As for me I know my pdoc has OC thought cycles, and I know this because of the way he ended sentence for me when I was describing what I was going through. No one who hadn't been through it, would have used the words he used.
But I don't ask, because I don't care, has no bearing on his treatment.
Everybody's experience of depression and anxiety and trauma is so individual that I find there is nothing to be gained by comparing war wounds.
I have often found those who have experienced it assembly know how you feel....They don't, they know how they felt.
At least those with no experience understand that they don't know. Mostly.

[healinginprogress]

I don't know if my T has any official diagnosis, but I know that she's been in therapy herself previously, and goes occasionally now as needed. It makes me feel better since it's another point showing that she's human. I don't think I would want to know specifics because that I can imagine I would start to be more sympathetic and feel "bad" for her.