Respect for your therapist, or not?

I've read many posts on here & it seems like the majority of people on here have fondness & respect for their therapists but a small minority do not! I find people's lack of respect for these professionals really quite confusing. Why would someone go to therapy & show little respect towards the person you are asking to help you? It seems such a waste of everyone's time?

People do therapy in whatever way works for them. Here's a recent thread on the subject.

https://forums.psychcentral.com/psyc...attack-me.html

People see a therapist for lots of reasons-- for instance, I know in general that what I experience leads me to be sometimes disrespectful, perhaps downright rude, if the work is going to get done. The work is more important than upholding social constructs, though I would also argue that as long as the client is paying what is owed and being responsible about showing up and following the cancellation policy, that constitutes respect.

And then, there are situations as well where an initially "respectful" relationship becomes complicated. I don't think a therapist inherently deserves respect. For me respect is earned and can also be lost.

I also don't think being friendly/fond necessarily equates to respect. I can think of plenty of times where someone has been respectful of me without all the positive emotions, also the reverse, where someone has been very fond of me but CERTAINLY did not respect me. I do in fact love my therapists, consider us to have "real relationships," etc, and it's an interesting angle to work from, but I think the process can be just as effective without.

Why are you assuming that you know everything about another person's life or relationship with their therapist from what they post on the internet?

I am entitled to say what I like about them, positive or negative. It is my therapy, not yours. I will act as I see is best for me.

And to paraphrase another poster, it is highly unlikely any therapists were personally damaged by what was said about them on the internet.

Respect is definitely earned, not an automatic right.

Speaking for myself... I come here, in part, to vent... and sometimes that involves being 'disrespectful' towards my therapist. Sometimes that's because my stuff is triggering my anger, sometimes it's because he's properly being an arse.

I don't believe that any therapist deserves our respect by default... It should be earned and it should go both ways. For a lot of people here that is not the case... I don't feel like it's the case for me right now either.

I'm surprised that it's hard for you to understand, to be honest. Therapy inevitably stirs up a lot of feelings and they're not all going to be rosy and lovely. Anyway, I hope this has helped you.

Respect is sadly not common in people anymore...

that being said, everyone deserves respect, it's just that if they do something to break that, it's totally ok to not respect them anymore. Maybe I'm just weird though.

I'd also never feel ok yelling at or getting angry with my T.

As I said in the other thread, I originally "respected" my therapists because of the professional "authority" their credentials indicated. I ascribed certain qualities to them. They played shamanic roles with me, affecting wisdom they really didn't have, counterfeiting an omniscience they of course never possessed.

So my "respect" was based on fear, mesmerization and intimidation as opposed to honest regard between two sincere people. As I gradually realized the relationship wasn't working, the co-therapists did everything in their vicious powers to bully me into staying. Leaving --which I did completely without their help--was like separating from a cult.

Relationships inevitably have subtle subtexts often inevident even to the participants. Relationships are complicated.

How lucky you are that your relationships are so clean and functional that there's never ambivalence.