I bumped into my therapist today.

I've been in therapy for well over a year. Not sure about my progress. It's physcotherapy with a little cbt.

I met her coincidentally at an art workshop. It was very awkward, as it was a day long class with only 9 people. She bearly acknowledged me.
At first I thought it was kinda funny. But it began to really stress me out.

She knows I love art. I teach and I really struggle with my own practice, as I know I'm crap. I've been blabbering on endlessly about this for over a year. And not once has she ever said, she like it, or had an interest in it. I get it supposed to be all about me, but really I hate this. And feel foolish that she never revealed an active interest in her own artistic endeavours. Like it was her little secret.

It was very uncomfortable. She avoided me today.and I ended up leaving early.
She is usually very closed and doesn't reveal anything about herself, which I accepted until now.

I'd prefer to take a break from therapy for a while. This has left a bad taste in my mouth. Because I feel she held back what's she's really thinking about having an interest.

I saw another therapist recently who was the opposite very open about her life, gave a ride home, and chatted about a party she was hosting at the weekend.
I preferred this, she still focused on me, but I felt it was more natural and not so lobsided.

Any thoughts...... please??

wow that is awful and awkward. i would feel like a break too. i mean she could of at least said hi or smiled

on the plus side, you got a T that gave you a ride? that's very cool. don't know many who would.

Oh wow, that sounds really awkward! I have not bumped into my T outside of therapy, and although I've read that they wil wait for you to start a convo and judge from your reaction to them, I'd really feel upset and hurt if my T didn't acknowledge me, and I think I probably would have left early too!
Like you my never discloses much in the sense of hobbies etc, although I don't suppose it really bothers me so much And recently she has been dropping some stuff in there which I'm really appreciating.
I suppose you just maybe got to decide if her style suits you still or like you say you want to find a T who is more open!
When are you due to see her next? Can you email/call her and explain beforehand? Or is she maybe likely to contact you?

Personally I would be more comfortable with your first therapist's approach as a general rule. I wouldn't like a therapist to offer me a lift or tell me about hosting a party because I would find that presumptuous and confusing.
I can understand how difficult the art workshop must have been though. And how surprising it must have felt that she shares this interest and never told you. I think she may have felt that her telling you she shared the hobby might have impinged on your therapeutic work as it is obviously relevant to what you discuss. If you have low self-esteem about your own work, perhaps knowing she had an interest might have made that more difficult to talk about? Perhaps not, but from her point of view it's a risk.
You, of course have the right to choose whatever therapeutic approach feels right for you. And if you feel taking a break is going to help I would follow that feeling.
Also, if and when you do return to this therapist I think it would be a really worthwhile thing to discuss with her. It sounds like you've been a little hurt by the therapist's withholding, and that sounds a very worthwhile topic for therapy.

Thank you so so much! What great responses and given me another side to think about.

I'm naturally very competitive and maybe it would have thrown me if she'd told me. So this does help a little. I will take a break for a couple of weeks then say it when I return.
Therapy is just so hard, as I always feel like I'm in the hot seat and giving myself up all the time.

The other therapist was just a two week stand in. So it's not an option to go back to her right now.

To be honest, I will find it hard to discuss my creative process. She's seen me in action and I'm terribly shy about my work. I try so hard and it ends up in the bin or under my bed..

But thank you folks!!xx

Therapists aren't supposed to say hi to you first if you run into them outside of therapy. However, it would have been appropriate for her to make eye contact with you and smile.

Are u a sufferer of any dx's u can always use that to get information or attend a group more usually gets out in groups about the leaders? Ptsd reliving reexperiencing flash backs thr bipolar angle depression anything want to have less paranoia stalked followed. I guess u have to make it up if they arent the offering kind.

I think that when your T discovered that you were at the same artworkshop, she should have excused herself and gone home (even though she had paid to be there). I think the therapeutic relationship is usually best kept in the therapists room, and that she should have recognized that her being there would cause you discomfort, or worse emotions. That would be hard luck for her, but something you have to accept if you are a T. I too would feel unhappy that she had never spoken up about her own interest in art. I feel somehow disrespected when a T takes the blank slate approach. I saw a T for a while who was blank slate and I had to stop going in the end. I think T's in the U.K. are often trained to be blank slate, but it wasn't helpful for me. To me it feels like they are on a power trip if they withhold their 'self' like that.

I read an article that discourages T's from sharing any information that might make the client think they are "soulmates" as apparently this can promote a strong idealising transference. So that could be a another reason she didn't share about her interest in art.

Strong boundaries can feel very strict and uncomfortable at times, but remember the reason they are there is to protect both the therapist and the client. It does sound to me that your T is at least professional and safe, which are most definitely good points. She probably felt really awkward as well at the workshop.

My T told me that in general, if a T would bump into a client, the T would initiative contact. When I was still in group, one of the groupT's told us that she and one of the group members where at the same party because their kids go to the same school. It ended up being a good afternoon, they talked, but just about casual things, kids and such.

If I would be in a situation like you, I would feel uncomfortable. I wouldn't feel safe with her in session.

PrevT was very closed about herself. I became very attached to her. It was not healthy for me. I'm still not over it.
Current T is very open. I know personal things about her. When she tells me somethings it is in relation to something I'm dealing with. This appraoch helps me. Our ''relationship'' is healty.

For some people work strict boundaries better, for others a more ''even'' C-T relationship works better.