[justbreathe1994]

I know this is not strictly a "Psychotherapy" post, but for some reason I don't feel comfortable sharing it anywhere else. I think probably because O have already shared here, so I feel somewhat connected to all of you (if that makes sense... not to sound creepy lol). Also, it has come up in the interactions with my therapists, so it kinda pertains to that I guess. I experience symptoms of BPD, especially when it comes to forming intense attachments. Recently I came to the realization that I tend to live vicariously through other people's' lives, perhaps because of my own emptiness inside and lack of a sense of a self. Someone in my life just had a baby and I'm incredibly jealous of her, as if her having a baby and being engaged somehow meant I couldn't have those things. I feel so ashamed because I while I sometimes have intense interest and excitement over the life events of others, it can also trigger many of my own longings and jealousies because I don't believe I'll ever have those things. It's so depressing and I tend to obsess over these individuals (whether it be therapists, friends, random acquaintances, or even strangers) and look at there social media pages constantly. I don't know why this happens, but I know it probably has something to do with not having enough interests or motivations in my own life. Has anyone else had experience with this?

[StickyTwig]

I know what you mean. I guess a way of putting a positive spin in the experience would be to see those people as role models? The obsessions and longings, so long as they dont get out of control, could be useful in the sense that they propel you into making changes, and the stronger the feelings are the greater the motivation to change!

So although I totally understand it hurts, it could be that it's not all bad and that it could be a vehicle for moving forward in your life

[CantExplain]

It is good to recognise your feelings, even if they are not the feelings you would like to have.