[chihirochild]

I recently moved and have now seen new-t three times. I very awkwardly broached the What To Do In A Crisis topic by saying, "um, pdoc told me that if I feel out-of-control-can't-stand-it awful, I have to go to the emergency room... but in the past I had the option to call former-t when things were really awful like that... so... what should I do when things are bad?" And she immediately said, "you should call me" and started opening drawers and things to find something to write on. As she was looking, I said, "thank you. I only ever called former-t twice in two years, and never in the middle of the night or anything." As she was writing her cell number on the back of her business card she looked up and smiled and said, "yes, God forbid you inconvenience anyone!" And that made me feel good.

However. Things are really very bad right now... but I am not in immediate right-this-second danger so I just can't bring myself to call her. And if the badness were to escalate I think I might just walk to the hospital rather than bothering her this late. (It's ~10:20pm where I am.)

How have y'all handled this kind of thing? What made you decide to call a new T the first time you did it?

[DP_2017]

My T has given me his number and allows me to call or text if need be but he turns his phone off at a certain time, so calling at your time now would do me no good.

I have only actually called his phone once, and it was a pre-planned call we had. Does she allow you to text? Maybe try that first, otherwise like you I'd call a crisis line or go to the hospital instead of a late night call. I just can't do it. I hate bothering people, especially late and on weekends

[Calilady]

My longest tenure with a T, I called (the first time) about a month in and I was very freaked out about something. Just panicked. In 1.5 years, only had three phone calls and a few texts (that didn't have to do w/billing).

[growlycat]

With my current t I may have emailed before calling. But I think the first time I called him was after a Christmas debacle where my mom passed out and hit her head after drinking too much and refused emts bringing her to the hospital. I stayed with my mom as she detoxes horribly over three days. I called him soon after needed advice and support.

[NP_Complete]

I've emailed him a lot, but the first time I called and left a voice mail was the morning after my husband tried to set our house on fire and a 6 hour standoff with the police ensued. Once I was allowed back in the house, I fell asleep for about an hour and when I woke up had a massive panic attack and left what I'm sure was a mostly unintelligible voice mail. I also sent him an email about what had happened. This came the day after we had just discussed how he can't provide on call service, but honestly this seemed like an event where it might be okay to call. (This conversation came about because my h had started to escalate his abuse and I was emailing my t instead of calling a crisis line.) I'd been seeing my therapist about a year at that point. For me, email seems less intrusive than a phone call. I think I did call him once shortly after I started with him but didn't leave a voice mail that time.

[Lemoncake]

I know his mobile phone number and home phone number but I've never called him yet.

Are you safe? Could you email her instead?

[malika138]

I haven't called my current t, although I have called t's in the past. For me, email helps. There is a record of the reassurance she has provided, and looking over past emails has helped me.

When I was less stable and with a previous t, I'd call, roughly during business hours, when I felt I needed to go to the hospital, as reassurance that I was making a good decision.

I have never phoned my T, but I have/do text sometimes if I'm feeling unsettled. He always gets back to me, but not usually until the following day. I try not too now, but always tell him that I wanted to, but didn't. I'm just trying to hold my stuff until I see him again next session. Because I see him twice a week, I don't have too long to wait.
If you 'need' to text/phone/email, then do so because there will come a time, when you won't need too.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Calling my T is part of my crisis plan. When we first met, we talked about what to do during a crisis. Originally, she wanted me to call her if I ever felt like SI'ing. So... I called her that week. That was a disaster! First, she thought it was a real crisis, but "thoughts" have never been a crisis for me. Also, she didn't know how to support me in the beginning. The phone call made me so much worse. When I saw her next, she wanted to axe crisis calls. I begged her not to. I told her that I don't need her to call when I'm having thoughts. So we agreed to try again, but this time in a crisis only. I forget the first time I called her in a crisis, but she was very helpful that time.

We have been scheduling phone calls lately, but it's been to help me cope with tapering down sessions. It's more of a reassurance/encouragement call.

I'd call her if you need to.

[ElectricManatee]

It sounds like your T wants you to call when you know that you need to call. That's the arrangement I have with my T, and it's really, really helpful. To be clear, "need to call" does not necessarily mean that I am in any immediate danger. If a ten-minute phone call will save me from days of needless emotional pain, then she wants me to call. I trust her to set her own boundaries around needing rest, breaks, etc. and know that she will call me back when she has time and can put on her therapist hat for a few minutes. I don't think she would give you her phone number if she didn't want you to use it.

[chihirochild]

Thanks, all. It really helps to hear how y'all have handled this.

New-t doesn't do emails (she said her clinic is working on setting something up that would be HIPAA-complient but they haven't yet). Didn't say anything about texts. I contacted the crisis line but because I said I wasn't in danger right that very second the guy talked with me for like 5 minutes and then said he had to get to other clients.

(I guess he made the right judgement call because I'm still here?)