[itjustis]

To cut a long story short - I had to stop seeing T in November last year because she was going to be my teacher.
She was my teach for 5 months before she decided the job wasn't for her and left as the summer break started.
We emailed a few times, said our goodbyes abs good lucks etc.

Now here's the issue...
I go back to classes on Tuesday and these last few days my anxiety has sky rocketed about going back and more than likely bumping into her at some point. I can literally feel myself shaking at the thought.
In our email exchange we agreed that if we saw each other we would say 'hi'. I don't know why I'm so anxious about this.

I really want to go back as her client, we had a lot of unfinished issues I needed to work on but I'm terrified of asking incase she says no, the rejection will kill me and my abandonment feelings will surface again.
I asked for a final appointment before we left but she was too busy to fit me in.

Ugh, I don't know. I'm just struggling about going back to classes and not having her there in any way. Since I started studying again I've either been her client or her student.

[1978dd]

Rather than feeling awkward, I'd seek out a different therapist.

[coolibrarian]

If you don't ask, the answer will always be "no."

[chihirochild]

That's a tough one.

It's hard to know what the best thing would be for you... but I think if it were me I'd try my hardest to Do The Brave Thing and send an email asking if she could do therapy with me again. I think I'd also put in the email that I felt really nervous about asking her, and that I was really afraid of rejection--not to try to guilt her into doing something she doesn't want to do, but so that if she did have to say no for whatever reason, she would know how vulnerable I was feeling and would be sure to respond with extra compassion.

She might have to say no because dual relationships are not supposed to be good for therapists and their clients... though I don't know if being someone's teacher really counts as a dual relationship. There's a lot of room for interpretation regarding boundaries/ethics in therapy, which is what makes this kind of thing hard to deal with (and makes it hard to predict what any particular T might choose to do).

Asking her is a risk--if she does have to say no, it'd likely feel bad (disappointment or even rejection, even if she has a really good reason why she can't see you)... but even though it might feel like she's the only person who could help you, that usually isn't the case (at least not in my experience, and I've heard lots of anecdotal evidence to support this). So maybe she could say no and help you find someone else, which would also be a win.

Hang in there <3

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by 1978dd

Rather than feeling awkward, I'd seek out a different therapist.

That's not an option, unfortunately. And besides, my T knows everything about me and we get on great. Going through it all with a new T is something I'm not quite ready to do yet.

[itjustis]

Originally Posted by chihirochild

That's a tough one.

It's hard to know what the best thing would be for you... but I think if it were me I'd try my hardest to Do The Brave Thing and send an email asking if she could do therapy with me again. I think I'd also put in the email that I felt really nervous about asking her, and that I was really afraid of rejection--not to try to guilt her into doing something she doesn't want to do, but so that if she did have to say no for whatever reason, she would know how vulnerable I was feeling and would be sure to respond with extra compassion.

She might have to say no because dual relationships are not supposed to be good for therapists and their clients... though I don't know if being someone's teacher really counts as a dual relationship. There's a lot of room for interpretation regarding boundaries/ethics in therapy, which is what makes this kind of thing hard to deal with (and makes it hard to predict what any particular T might choose to do).

Asking her is a risk--if she does have to say no, it'd likely feel bad (disappointment or even rejection, even if she has a really good reason why she can't see you)... but even though it might feel like she's the only person who could help you, that usually isn't the case (at least not in my experience, and I've heard lots of anecdotal evidence to support this). So maybe she could say no and help you find someone else, which would also be a win.

Hang in there <3

Thank you so much for your reply. We were client/counsellor before she was my teacher and had a 2 month break before that started...we've just had another 3 month break so going back would be ok I think, ethically at least.

Maybe I will ask for a first appt to discuss further appts. It might be weird for both us doing therapy again but I really feel we would just slot back in to that routine.

I'll email her in a week or two so she can settle back into work and I'll word it how you have suggested.
Thanks so much!