Would you want your therapist to come to an event of yours?

Yeah, no. I dread the day that I run into him in public. But doing so on purpose?

No, not really. I don't have any events.

If I died in my home country, I wouldn't want T or my friends to come to my funeral. Somehow I feel really protective about "I don't want my family of origin to know who are important to me."

But if I get married to my partner in his country like we wish, I'd wish she could stop by briefly.

It very much depends on the event. If, in the future I were to be speaking at a therapy related event I would be fine with him being there because I think that's where our lives intersect. I wouldn't want him to attend something more personal like a wedding or graduation.
I would like him to come to my funeral if I died before him, and I'd quite like to go to his if he died first.

Yes, why not. I don't have an urge to get her into my events as I am happy her being a therapist in therapist's role. But I like her and I don't feel any akwardness etc. So if the unlikely situation would ever come up, she is most welcome.

No freaking way. The t I used to go to once hinted she wanted to come to my college graduation. I wasn't sure how to tell her I didn't want her there. I ended up leaving her before I graduated so it didn't matter anyway.

No. That would freak me the f*** out. I would not be able to concentrate on anything. I also don't want him to meet my partner or friends or family, ever. No. Nonono.

I wouldn't want R to come to an event, because our relationship is based on a pervasive yet small aspect of my life. I am deeply grateful for her presence in it, but I recognise where the boundaries are too.

About as much as I would want my gyne doc to show up.
So....not a lot.

The question is weird to me because it assumes that my therapist would come to an event of mine. The way therapy is practiced in the US (based on this forum) is incredibly different than how it’s practiced in my country ( and I would gather, the rest of Western Europe).
It would not be ethical for a therapist to see a client outside of therapy.
And even if it was, I would definitely not want my therapist to come to anything. My therapist is someone who has no stakes in my life, who does not mean anything to me outside of the service she provides.
Also, since people have mentioned it, if I died, why would it matter who showed up at my funeral? I’d be dead so it’s not like I would be able to appreciate it.

I find the idea of funerals quite interesting. I would not go to hers as it's not my place to do so - that is for family and close friends or people who would be in a close enough position to be grieving the loss, in my opinion. I don't think clients are in that position. I think it's not the place of a client to intrude upon a personal event like a funeral.
And I don't believe I can control who would come to my funeral. I can't imagine why she would. But I also don't believe it would matter to me one way or the other. I'd be dead

Interesting question. I vote No way! I adore my therapist and I keep willing the universe to run into him one day just so I can briefly introduce him to my husband and my son. But beyond that, no. I don't talk about being in therapy to most people, so I would probably have to pretend he was a friend or something. I like boundaries. For me, I feel like crossing that line into friendship would make the non judgmental therapy relationship more challenging.

Yes, and she has, and probably would again, if I asked her to.

I said "maybe" and what I mean by that my ex-therapists (I don't have a current one) maybe, once they are no longer my therapists and the event is somehow highly relevant to whatever we know about each-other. A therapist that I am currently seeing, no freaking way. I would see them to talk about my life, not to involve them in it.

No. I have online therapy and my profile with her is completely anonymous! I would probably freak out if I ever saw her in person!!! And in addition it would make my ROCD like fears go up like crazy! ��

I think it is odd to consider asking. Not the therapist job or place...boundaries!

T had a slip of the brain not so long ago surrounding this. It caused real problems. She asked how I would feel if she attended a meet up I was starting to run. A part of me got excited that she was interested and keen. I thought it showed she cared about me and what I was doing. Turned out that it didn't mean that at all. She wad just interested in doing the thing that I was organising and forgot to engage her brain before thinking or saying anything. Unfortunately, she didn't say anything for a week or two, but left it up to me to bring up at, which I stupidly did. I said that I would be ok with it, as long as she did or didn't do x, y or z, which I knew was unfair to ask, but then it was the only way I could accept her into it. These were things like 'be how you normally are with me, kind and considerate', 'don't get angry or shout', 'don't be cliquey', 'dont come to the very first one, or two'.

When I poured my heart out to her and told her all this and a lot more, she turned back into the professional and said that she couldn't come, because it wouldn't be right or fair for wither of us. She said that if she wanted that in her life then she had to find that, for herself, but not through me. I asked her if she had said it by mistake and she said that she had, and I think she vaguely apologised.

I was more upset by the fact that she knew she had made a mistake but hadn't brought it up. She had essentially led me on. Led me to believe that somethjng was possible when it wasnt. Led me to believe that maybe all sorts of things were possible, even though I knew somehow that it wouldn't have been a good idea, even though another part of me thought it was.

I got really angry for the first time for many, many years. The teenage part of me came up with force and really took over. I hated her right then, and for a week or so afterwards.

As I was doing the first group I caught myself thinking how awkward it would have been with her there anyway, and that I was glad, in a way, that she wasnt, and never would be.

Long way of saying....yes, I would want it, but at the same time no I wouldn't.

There are other things that we can do together though, in the sessions, that are just for me, and not for her. Though that makes me sad too, because it reminds me that I will never be anything more to her than just one of many clients.

Therapy is very complicated.

I voted no freakin way! Not even for my funeral, or my mother's who t may know better than me, because she is my internal object writ large.
Cool poll.

~Searching

If you had a good relationship with a therapist, personally, I think it would be totally acceptable to stop by the therapist's funeral to pay respects. I think many families would find it comforting to know that their loved one had made a difference for you and that you would always remember them.

I just don't see it like that -but to each their own.

My therapist visited me in the hospital once after I'd had surgery.

My former T came to my PhD defense and to the celebration dinner afterwards. I appreciated it and didn't find it awkward at all; she blended right in with my friends and family.

Only my wedding, if T wanted to come. I wasn't diagnosed w/avoidant personality disorder, but did get tagged w/avoidant traits. Since T and I are working toward identifying why I am avoidant, I think both of us would see my wedding as a celebration to some degree of success in therapy.

Otherwise, no, I wouldn't want T to attend any activity I might participate in...avoidance being my reason.