Unusual Requests

I've really enjoyed reading everyone's stories. Thank you all for sharing your experiences! I've said this before, but my personal boundaries make me a more classic client. I don't really ask for much from my therapist. So this will be a different type of situation for me. I feel normalized now.

So did i! Shoe glue fumes.

Why?

(eight characters)

For a different reason than unaluna

I always used to sit in his couch straight like a student until he said its my couch for an hour and I can get as comfortable as I want (I am way too self conscious) Well I wouldn't lay on it but I took my shoes off and got somewhat comfortable. That actually made it easier for me to talk to him. I was like "really I could've been doing that for 2 years?" Next time first thing I did was took my shoes off and he did too and put his feet up on a table. Somehow that makes it more comfortable for me, hard to explain. We also had a good laugh about our socks. So the time after that I asked him to do that and he did. And said I'm the only one he takes his shoes of for lol, aren't I special. Now I just sit however I want and I like it.

I'm weird, I know. Nothing about fumes though

Haha, thanks for the story Very cool and nice.
I think I'm very self conscious too, and I think I sit "like a student" too.
Sometimes I wish I could sit with one foot tucked under the other leg. It's the most comfortable pose for me. But I can't even ask to close the window if I'm freezing. He knows that I'm weird... "Tell me if you get cold. You won't tell, right? But tell me, please". Haha.
So the most strange request probably was to touch him to be sure he's real. I was too chicken and didn't ask a straightforward question... I used some hints and he understood everything.

He has taken his shoes off for a few times. It was long ago. I can't remember if i did it too. No? But I remember socks laugh too! Socks are cool

I am so proud of all of you
I know I have every right to ask him everything I want... But I can't.

I like to sit with my foot under the other leg too. Sometimes I have both my legs on the couch and hold a pillow. It's interesting how much of a difference that makes for me. I am a chicken too, if it didn't come from him, I don't think I would ask. Now I wish I did that long time ago

Neither myself nor my T wears shoes... (When I saw that he didn't, I followed his lead and took mine off) - I feel the same as you, like it makes a big difference to be able to move myself around into different positions... I curl up, I put my legs underneath me, I sit cross-legged... All kinds of things. I wouldn't want to go back to sitting on a chair with my shoes on now.

I remember him smiling at me the first time I came in and took my shoes off straight away...

I wonder if his other clients do.

I have to find matching socks haha.
But I don't think I ever will take my shoes off anyway

Ex-t and I were talking on the phone one day and she started to eat her lunch. Irritated, I asked her to call me back when she was done. She called me back about 45 minutes later sounding all buzzed up.

Though I don't see this as unusual, I am also going to ask my current t to listen to some voicemails. I have a few saved from ex-t that may be useful for the report I am filing against her but I don't yet have the heart to listen to her voice. I anticipate my t will happily do the listening for me.

I don't think I have requested anything from the woman and certainly nothing I would consider unusual.

I asked mine to listen to an audio recording I made while my husband was verbally abusing me. We talked about it several times and he agreed to do it if I would edit it from 26 minutes to ~10 minutes. Originally we were going to listen together, but he was concerned what kind of reaction he would have to it so instead he listened to it out of session.

I've also asked, and he agreed, to listen with me to a 911 call I made, but I can't get a copy of the call yet so that will have to wait.

Ex T and I carved pumpkins together in a session every October.

One time I brought in an afghan I crocheted and laid it on the floor and asked her to sit there with me. She did. We sit on the floor every now n then. I'd love to have a session outside sometime but haven't asked yet.

I told her several months ago that I want us to do a sand tray together but we haven't yet. She hasn't forgotten, though. Soon.

Today I asked Kashi if he'd show me how to change the light bulbs in my headlights and tail lights (or he may have offered once I told him my local mechanic charged me 40 dollars for 4 minutes of work)

He ended up looking at the weird corrosion on my car battery and showed me how to safely clean it. I have safety gloves with my jumper cable kit I offered for his use but he said nahhh. I was worried about electrifying my therapist.

Would it be really weird to ask T2 if he'd consider not wearing his shoes? That would be weird, wouldn't it?

ETA: a) I'd forgotten MessyD's posts on this subject! T2 is fine with me taking my shoes off and curling up. I don't know what he'd say if I asked him to take his off. I do see him in his house though, so it's not that weird...?

b) Sorry Daisy that I've resurrected your thread, I hope it's okay - my question just seemed to fit here. I'd forgotten the context though and realise now it might be hard for you to have this brought up again. Sorry if that's the case

I asked my ex-t if she would get on a plane and fly to another state with me so that she could meet my best friend. This was when I was relatively new to therapy and I had no sense of what was an appropriate thing to ask a therapist. I asked her very enthusiastically and provided her an entire itinerary (and I think I also gave her a vague estimate of how much I would pay her to do this with me). Of course, she said that she couldn't go.

As for your request, that doesn't sound unreasonable. I feel like he will probably ask him why you think his presence will be beneficial to you but I have a hard time believing that he would say no, just based off of what you said in your post.

I think it's fine to ask, and not just because I think it's fine to ask for anything in therapy, knowing that it's possible that the answer will be no. I don't think it's terribly weird. I'm trying to decide whether I could see my T saying yes. Sometimes she wears, like, flat strappy sandals, so it seems like she would because I can basically already see her feet anyway. But then sometimes she wears high boots, and they seem like they would be a pain to take off, which makes me think she would refuse. Regardless, she would for sure ask me why I wanted her to do it.

Luc, maybe you can tell him you feel more comfortable that way, curling up, all the shoes off. As weird as it sounds for some, I think if I had known that at the beginning, it would have saved me some time getting somewhat ok being there, and feeling more casual, which would have made it easier for me to open up. Seems you feel the same way, so I would give a try. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. I don’t ask mine anymore but I still take my shoes off and try to get comfortable because I know I can

It was pretty difficult, especially since someone replied to the OP, but I’m not upset at you. Just looked at his new picture and giggled.

Also realized I never posted it here. He enthusiastically listened to that voicemail. I said that I wanted to listen to it in session since it was a safe place, and he practically bowled me over to get close enough to hear it. So apparently not that weird.

I asked her to sit in a certain chair during a family session (family sessions means me, father, mother, T, family T and occasionally sister) so I'd have someone "safe" to look at (she'd be the only person sitting to my left) while I was telling my parents about the s. assault.

Also, she drove me home for a while. She'd usually come to my house for therapy, and her office is two streets over from my school. So if I had therapy after school, both of us would separately travel in the same direction (from my school/her office to my house) and then have the session at my home. It just made sense for her to drive me home - we'd start the session in the car and finish inside my home.

I think that if him taking his shoes off is helpful & more comfortable for you, then I don’t think there’s anything wrong or weird about it. It’s your t’s Job to make you feel comfortable. However, on a small side note here......what if his feet smell?

I genuinely considered that! I have known people who don't like taking their shoes off around others in case their feet smell. But since I see him in his house, he can surely make sure he's got clean feet and clean socks, right?!

Thanks also Manatee and MessyD for your input! I am going to try and ask him... I'm sure he'll want to discuss what it's about, and... that should be interesting, anyway.

Let us know how it goes!