[atisketatasket]

Yesterday my current therapist--Info by nickname--told me she has a client who takes dance lessons and when she has recitals Info attends. (The issue came up because I'm taking a ballet class soon. I disinvited her from any possible recital attendance, because I want her to stay in her office and not show up elsewhere in my life.)

So would you want your therapist to come to an event in your life? "Event" can cover anything from dance recital to public speech to wedding to whatever, just so long as it's something that isn't part of therapy sessions.

And why/not?

[RaineD]

Absolutely! I love my therapist and would love for him to come to any of my events.

Not only that, but I would introduce him to everyone as my therapist.

[awkwardlyyours]

I think it depends on the T + how I feel about them + the event under consideration -- the pollster's lot is not an easy one.

Btw, I actually wonder how much of this has to do with the therapist's interest in what I think are the mundanities of a client's life (not counting weddings and other major life events in that)?

I don't see current T offering to show up for anything I might do but she seems to be deadly curious about all kinds of boring details about my life (E.g. The movers I'm planning to use; the exact locations of the houses I checked out; the specific place I went to for dinner; the type and kind of furniture item I'm trying to build) -- it's more than a trifle disconcerting (although I get the whole relationship building strategy of it) and I'm inclined to get vague about details.

If she were to go a step beyond and offer to show up like Info did to something I was doing, ummm...yeah....I'd totally shut down.

[toomanycats]

My exT came to my daughter's baptism, and I really was glad he came. It was very special to me. (My husband and I performed a song together at the baptism.)

He did not come back to the house for the party or anything, but having him at the church was really nice.

He also came to my stable once and watched me ride.

These things meant a lot to me.

[unaluna]

Yikes! No! Altho last summer i did ask him to run over a couple of blocks and help me deal with a tiny dog who i couldnt even see, but who would whine everytime i walked away from the parked car he was locked in. It was a warmish day, i called the police. So the first 20 minutes or so of my "appointment" that day were spent doing that. Cuz otherwise i was gonna be pretty late.

But no i dont want him to watch me doin stuff. He can watch me win a gold medal or whatever on youtube like everyone else

[RubyRae]

I voted no freaking way.

But..it depends on what the event would be.I would hope he would show up for my funeral if I were to pass away but that's about it.

[Out There]

I don't think I'd like my T's showing up outside of therapy for recitals or things like that , but seminars related to therapy I could go for , though I think that's unlikely. I might show videos of things I'd done but not actually being present.

[AllHeart]

Right now, no way. I think if there was something major that my t helped me to get involved in or overcome down the long, long road, I might consider it. Like you, I prefer her to stay in her office. There's good safety in that for me.

Good luck with the ballet class!

ETA: I'm with RR -- I'd like t to come to my funeral should I pass.

[Argonautomobile]

Yes. When they're honoring me at the Kennedy Center, everyone's going to know about it.

Haha. No.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by RubyRae

But..it depends on what the event would be.I would hope he would show up for my funeral if I were to pass away but that's about it.

Originally Posted by AllHeart

ETA: I'm with RR -- I'd like t to come to my funeral should I pass.

Just don't ask them if they would come to your funeral. I know from experience it freaks them out. Even when you're not likely to cause the event yourself.

[RubyRae]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Just don't ask them if they would come to your funeral. I know from experience it freaks them out. Even when you're not likely to cause the event yourself.

Interesting,my T has told me he would hope I would go to his and that I would hopefully grieve for him.

(I should probably add that I had asked him what would happen if he should pass away.I was meaning what would happen to my records at his practice,what T would I see,etc. but apparently he thought I meant something else)

[ruh roh]

Given that I don't even like to attend my own events, I'm not sure. Maybe? I always like when I see her outside the office, like if we're arriving around the same time or something, but that is the extent of my social life in general. There won't be a wedding, so that's out. And I don't foresee a funeral either (just hoping someone will dump the ashes). I think it would be awesome she asked to attend something, but that would never happen, outside of the hospital or jail, which we have already talked about and she was a yes to both.

[AllHeart]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Just don't ask them if they would come to your funeral. I know from experience it freaks them out. Even when you're not likely to cause the event yourself.

My t is so easily riled up. It's awesome. So, I'll probably ask for s 'n g.

[growlycat]

Maybe not a work event but everything else? Sure. My long term t came to my college graduation back in the day. It meant a lot

[geminirising]

I would like my therapist to show up at a life event of mine. It would make me feel special.

Yes I would like her to, and she has. And she has come to work with me also which was fun for us both times.

[awkwardlyyours]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

Just don't ask them if they would come to your funeral.

Technically (purely from a poll perspective), would my funeral be an event of 'mine' (as you've worded it)?

I'd like to think so -- in which case, I'd ask everyone to totally eff off somehow -- but sadly (no puns intended, really), I believe common wisdom says otherwise?

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

Technically (purely from a poll perspective), would my funeral be an event of 'mine' (as you've worded it)?

I'd like to think so -- in which case, I'd ask everyone to totally eff off somehow -- but sadly (no puns intended, really), I believe common wisdom says otherwise?

It's an event of yours over which you have no control.

Sort of like weddings, once you get past the I-want-to-get-married part.

[stopdog]

I can't figure out how this is even a thing.
It is the stuff of nightmares and horror.

[Elio]

I had my T visit me in the hospital after my top surgery; however, that was because I really didn't know how I'd feel about things afterwards. I was grateful that she came. I have 2 more surgeries coming up. I told her that I had not planned on asking her to come because I didn't see a therapeutic reason for her to be there. I do want her there and want her to want to be there.

I invited her to my first game night but not my second. (social events are very big deals for me and cause a world of anxiety)

[WarmFuzzySocks]

I voted maybe. Which in this case means probably not but maybe there's some scenario I haven't thought of.

I like her and all, but it would feel really weird to invite her to an event.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by RubyRae

Interesting,my T has told me he would hope I would go to his and that I would hopefully grieve for him.

(I should probably add that I had asked him what would happen if he should pass away.I was meaning what would happen to my records at his practice,what T would I see,etc. but apparently he thought I meant something else)

At that point, i prolly woulda said, "boy, its ALWAYS about YOU, isnt it?!" and tipped over my chair laughing again, but NOW i know he woulda got his feelings hurt, so i prolly would stifle myself. But i would still think it. Cuz its kinda embarrassing how this is ALWAYS about us, but i made such a joke once and he acted like he didnt get it.

I said absolutely yes. Of course, I can't think of any events that I would invite anyone to, except for maybe if I get super-duper-serious about this school thing and actually get an MA then yeah - I would invite her to graduation.

[Ididitmyway]

I voted no way. The relationship with a therapist is way too confusing without it. Inviting them to an event for me would add yet another layer of mess into that whole drama. I'd firmly keep the T where they are - in the consulting room.

Long time ago, I did the opposite-went to a personal event of my psychiatrist.

It was very weird. I also had a panic attack.

I would do it again...now that I am no longer his patient and we are distanced, I don't think I'd be as anxious.