[peaches100]

PART 2

In Part 1, I talked about what I said to my h and my t at my session yesterday. In Part 2, I tell what my h said in the session.

My h said that he felt strongly that I should not quit therapy with my t. He said he had seen a lot of really good growth and changes in me over time. He said my self-esteem is better, I can speak up for myself now. He said that a few years ago, I would never have been able to have this conversation without breaking down in tears.

He also said that I should not quit right now because his mom just died, and we are both grieving a lot about it. She was the first person I've been close to who has ever died. When I was growing up, my parents never taught me anything about death and how to deal with it. (Everything was Candyland; bad things never happened.) As an adult, I have a strong faith based on my religious beliefs and believe I'll see her again one day. Still, it is a HUGE loss for me. It's a huge trigger. Rejection and loss have been a constant issue for me since I was born.

Another reason my h thinks I should stay in therapy with this t is that he believes she is an excellent t. She has known me for many years. It has taken me years and years just to work up the amount of trust I have now. He said it would be too hard for me to start all over with somebody else.

Also, he knows that even though I don't feel like I want to go to therapy anymore, I am very attached to my t. I've always dreaded termination down the road. So I would not be able to just up and quit, and be OK.

Also, my h pointed out that we don't have much of a support system from friends or family. Overall, he thinks that quitting now would be like biting the hand that is feeding me. My t cares about me. She wants to help me. If I up and quit now, he says I won't be OK. I need her support right now.

[rainbow8]

But Peaches, the decision has to be yours, not your husband's. True growth would mean you decide to quit, or not to quit, or to see someone else, based on your needs, not what your H thinks. He has some valid points, but it's your therapy, not his.

[LonesomeTonight]

Yes, agree with Rainbow. How did you feel about what your H said, Peaches?

[Calilady]

100% what Rainbow said.

[Amyjay]

What is part 3? What did your T say?

[Amyjay]

It sounds like what you and H are saying together is that you

1. Need more frequent therapy and/or
2. More frequent contact between sessions and/or
3. For her to respond more quickly and more fully when you email her and
4. You need it from her and not from any other T.

[unaluna]

I was seeing my ts more than once a week. More times a week is usually considered normal or necessary for attachment work, or work of this depth.