[Tbhimscared]

My T is always about 10 minutes last to our appointments. They’re free so I’m not losing money I’ve spent, but it’s still frustrating when I show up early and wait about 20 minutes to go in. She’ll usually go over time by about 5mins or so though, so maybe her clock in her office is just slow and she doesn’t realize it. She’s a new T too and maybe she takes longer to get ready before a session and loses track of time, I’m not sure. Do you think this is worth bringing up? Has this happened to you before?

[Spangle]

Originally Posted by Tbhimscared

My T is always about 10 minutes last to our appointments. They’re free so I’m not losing money I’ve spent, but it’s still frustrating when I show up early and wait about 20 minutes to go in. She’ll usually go over time by about 5mins or so though, so maybe her clock in her office is just slow and she doesn’t realize it. She’s a new T too and maybe she takes longer to get ready before a session and loses track of time, I’m not sure. Do you think this is worth bringing up? Has this happened to you before?

I definitely think you should bring it up. My t used to be late every time. He would text to let me know, but like you, I was already there early & waiting. I started to make sarcastic comments to him when I got into his room. After a few weeks of that, I asked him if he was late for everyone’s appointments, or was I the ‘lucky’ one. Then we talked about how him being late, made me feel. He’s not late as much now. It was good for me to talk about lateness with people because it’s something I can’t stand & have limited tolerance for (although I am working on it)

[NP_Complete]

I have almost the same issue. My therapist usually comes out to get me about 4 - 6 minutes late, but the session usually ends on time. I wonder if he does this to everyone, or if it's just me. I have only recently started to find it troubling but I hesitate to say something because I send him emails and I feel like maybe I shouldn't complain about it.

I would not tolerate if a therapist was repeatedly late - I think it is unprofessional and disrespectful, and going over time at the other end is not the right way to resolve it. I would bring it up and if no change, would not see that T. Some people just tend to be chronically late and unable to manage time, but someone who works with scheduled appointments must be able to do better.

[InnerPeace111]

I think your situation is complicated by the fact that your sessions are free - you are not paying for them. This is where things can get quite muddled. If I were in this situation, I wouldn’t say anything at all. I would continue to arrive in time for sessions (or even early) and I’d use that waiting time to my advantage. I’d write in my journal, read a book or magazine, fiddle around on my phone, meditate, grade papers (I’m a teacher), update my calendar, etc.

[Spangle]

Originally Posted by InnerPeace111

I think your situation is complicated by the fact that your sessions are free - you are not paying for them. This is where things can get quite muddled. If I were in this situation, I wouldn’t say anything at all. I would continue to arrive in time for sessions (or even early) and I’d use that waiting time to my advantage. I’d write in my journal, read a book or magazine, fiddle around on my phone, meditate, grade papers (I’m a teacher), update my calendar, etc.

I tend to disagree with you in that, just because the sessions are free, shouldn’t mean that a t can abuse an agreement & behave in an unprofessional way. That t has agreed to meet at a particular time on a particular day, so without anything else, it’s rude. It sends the message that because you are getting sessions for free, you’re not worth me taking too much time & trouble over & you should be grateful for what you get. Or, as I said to my t.....oh, it’s only me & I guess I’m not worthy of your time then.

[SoConfused623]

I've been lucky as blank slate T and new T, are NEVER late! They start right on time and end right on time. Well, one time my new T went over time but I don't think that anyone was waiting. I ended up emailing her asking if she was going to deduct from our next session and she said that it's her job to manage the time and of course she wasn't going to deduct from our next session.

I absolutely hate it when people are late and would not tolerate it with a T. Of course, once in a while is understandable but as a regular thing would bother me so much that I'd probably look for a new T. I would definitely talk about it first and if it didn't get better quickly, I'd move on.

Good luck with this!

[InnerPeace111]

Originally Posted by Spangle

I tend to disagree with you in that, just because the sessions are free, shouldn’t mean that a t can abuse an agreement & behave in an unprofessional way. That t has agreed to meet at a particular time on a particular day, so without anything else, it’s rude. It sends the message that because you are getting sessions for free, you’re not worth me taking too much time & trouble over & you should be grateful for what you get. Or, as I said to my t.....oh, it’s only me & I guess I’m not worthy of your time then.

Sorry about this. I should clarify myself. I was just answering the question based on what I would personally do if I found myself in this situation. By no means does my response mean it’s the right way or the best way or the most comfortable/preferable way for everyone. Not at all.

[zoiecat]

I am the last appointment of the day. My therapist is usually 10 minutes late every time but I don't mind it and if we started at 10 after and he only gave me a 50 minute session then we would end exactly at 5 but he always gives me extra time and I never get out of there until 10 or 15 after sometimes later so I don't have a problem with it. He always gives me at least a full 50 minute session and I look at it as if I go to see any other doctor or even other appointments I am usually kept waiting even longer than that past my scheduled time. If my therapist was not helping me and I had other problems with him then yes that may be a reason to look elsewhere but other than the time issue he's a perfect therapist so I can't complain.

If it bothers you then you should bring it up, just like you would to any form of service

Are you getting your full 50 minutes (or whatever it is)? She may just start her sessions after the hour. My therapist worked that way. They were 50 minute sessions. On the schedule they might be marked for 4:00, but he'd start about 4:10 and go to 5:00. Still getting the full 50 minutes -- he just chose to run them that way. He was pretty consistent about it.

[stopdog]

In the case of having someone start an appointment at 5:10 rather than 5 o'clock – I would say that the appointment was 5:10 and not 5 o'clock. For me I would just go at 5:10. I would completely skip the 5 o'clock part. But if they told me or if I made an appointment at 5 o'clock then I would be pissed off if what they really meant was 5:10.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by Tbhimscared

My T is always about 10 minutes last to our appointments. They’re free so I’m not losing money I’ve spent, but it’s still frustrating when I show up early and wait about 20 minutes to go in. She’ll usually go over time by about 5mins or so though, so maybe her clock in her office is just slow and she doesn’t realize it. She’s a new T too and maybe she takes longer to get ready before a session and loses track of time, I’m not sure. Do you think this is worth bringing up? Has this happened to you before?

My T does the same as well. Then she will be texting someone momentarily. Then I go into her room and she tells me that she has to use the bathroom. My kids T does the same as well.

my therapist has never been on time. not even close. she generally runs 15 to 45 minutes behind. she is way too busy. her schedule is too over loaded.

[Tbhimscared]

Originally Posted by Sarmas

My T does the same as well. Then she will be texting someone momentarily. Then I go into her room and she tells me that she has to use the bathroom. My kids T does the same as well.

Aw no I’m sorry that’s not fair. Could you go see someone else? She should give her full attention to you and get those things out of the way before even getting you. There have been times with ex T that I would be early and she would let me in a few minutes early, but she would run to use the bathroom so it wasn’t eating out of my own time really, I was more invading on her time between sessions

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by Tbhimscared

Aw no I’m sorry that’s not fair. Could you go see someone else? She should give her full attention to you and get those things out of the way before even getting you. There have been times with ex T that I would be early and she would let me in a few minutes early, but she would run to use the bathroom so it wasn’t eating out of my own time really, I was more invading on her time between sessions

I don’t think my T would ever take anyone early. She’s the type to really watch the time and see where she can sneak in a few extra minutes for herself. I at first that maybe it was a coincidence. When I run a few minutes late she will still finish her conversation and texting. Then she will announce that she will be going to the bathroom. As she returns her phone is still in her hand. There’s a point that I get fed up and take a break. I feel like I’m not being valued. Then I notice that for the next client she might or might not go to the bathroom. She ends on time for them and if she does go to the bathroom she is back quickly with no phone in her hand. It’s annoying.