[lucozader]

My new(ish) T is really good at remembering stuff - like, very specific words and phrases that I've used. It's wonderful. It makes me feel... Like I matter, like he gives a s**t. As an example, last week we talked about my cat (in the context of constructing a 'safe place' for me), and today he mentioned some of the exact words I used to describe her - the rasp of her tongue, the glitter of her fur. I was really touched. I've noticed him doing this a fair bit. I don't know if he makes very specific (or very abstract) notes, or if he just has a good memory for interesting words and phrases. I think it is the latter. Or perhaps it is some sort of wily T-technique to make me like him more. I appreciate it a lot either way.

My previous T (aka T-wat) sometimes remembered little things (though nowhere near as gracefully as current T) but also on a number of occasions couldn't remember very important things (at least claimed not to), or seemed to terribly misremember them. I was immensely hurt by it. Sometimes I honestly felt like he didn't even know who I was.

So, what's your T's memory (and/or note-taking ability) like - and how do you feel about it?

[LonesomeTonight]

Wow, that's really impressive that he used those specific phrases! Shows he's really paying attention (and probably has a really good memory). Current T seems pretty good at remembering things and keeping people/events I've mentioned straight. Though there was one time early on that we remembered a conversation differently regarding e-mail that led to a conflict (that was quickly resolved). But that was him misremembering what he said, not a fact I shared. He has only taken notes in 2 sessions--the first one and the one where I was giving him a history of my alcohol use (and he asked if he could take notes).

MC is generally good at it--and he's never taken notes during session and often will grab his next client when he walks us out, so I think he just has a really good memory. And ex-T was quite good (aside from occasionally misremembering what she said)--she kept the various people in my life straight for the most part (occasionally clarifying)--hope I have an equally good memory at 70! She did write a couple notes each session though.

None of them have used such specific details as yours, I don't think though--that's particularly impressive!

[DP_2017]

Not good, but I understand why. We've discussed it and I am ok with it. However he randomly will remember the weirdest things, like small things or things from months ago

[lucozader]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

None of them have used such specific details as yours, I don't think though--that's particularly impressive!

Yes, it is rather impressive... I think he is quite special.

I feel I should clarify that he doesn't take notes in session, nor has any T I've seen - I don't think I'd like that very much. I guess he writes them after I leave, and maybe they just consist of random words and phrases that I've said? Hah.

[healinginprogress]

Decent. But as we've delved further it seems like it's not as good but I don't mind. I'm a pretty confusing person with a complicated history and she does have a lot of clients.

Aww I'm so glad for you, luco. My t has a great memory too, although she does take notes during my sessions. She's all the time remembering stuff I'd forgotten I told her and recalling it at the exact right moment. I don't know how she does it.

[ElectricManatee]

Your T sounds dynamite, Luc. Mine has a really good memory and can snag little details from long ago. Once or twice she has remembered things from my life that I had forgotten until she brought them up again. I have one good friend whose name she can't remember, which has kind of become a running joke, but otherwise she is rock solid on remembering most things, especially the big important things.

[Out There]

Regular T has the memory of an elephant and EMDR is not too bad. Not remembering from one T was a part of a deal breaker - there was a major thing in my life that she didn't remember and she'd taken notes as well. Just no.

[fille_folle]

My longtime T, D, had a pretty good memory. She never took notes that I remember. She never forgot anything important that I shared with her. I know she hates writing, so I doubt she documents much after session, so it's pretty impressive how much she remembers.

My new T (I recently relocated) also has a good memory. I think she sometimes takes notes, but I'm not sure. I have a hard time looking at her during session, so I can't say how much note-taking she does.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by lucozader

Yes, it is rather impressive... I think he is quite special.

I feel I should clarify that he doesn't take notes in session, nor has any T I've seen - I don't think I'd like that very much. I guess he writes them after I leave, and maybe they just consist of random words and phrases that I've said? Hah.

Ex-T would have a notepad in front of her and just occasionally write something down. I asked her about it once, and she said sometimes it was just noting how I seemed, like "Seems anxious" or "depressive affect." Or she'd write something to follow up on the next week. But that still made me feel awkward when she did write something, like, "Wait, why is she writing down that random thing I said?"

My former p-doc drove me nuts because I swear she was writing every word I said sometimes, to the point that I'd have to stop to give her a chance to catch up!

[snowangel17]

Mine has pretty 'MEH' memory...He uses a notepad to take notes which doesn't bother me too much as I don't find it distracting.
He doesn't always remember as much as I would like him to though which at times can be quite annoying and hurtful. It's often only small insignificant things that he forgets which my rational self-knows is normal. He did one time forget the name of my deceased sister though and when I corrected him didn't seem at all phased that he had forgotten. I will often retell a story and he acts like it's the first time I've told him. I'm not sure is it for my benefit or if he actually has completely forgotten he already heard it. really help.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

In my last session, mine reminded me of a dream I'd told her about in the spring.

Sometimes she mis-remembers a detail like the number of kids I have as she mentions it briefly in conversation, but she knows their names and remembers the stories I tell about them, and those kind of verbal slips are pretty normal for anyone who sees lots and lots of people.

[atisketatasket]

Every therapist I’ve seen has had what I would call a below-average memory*, especially CW. No. 3 actually had a good memory, except the one thing she forgot was a very important thing: if she did x it would put me at increased risk. Guess what? She forgot, somehow, and did x.

*By my standards. I usually try to cut some slack because I have a very good memory for most things.

[Argonautomobile]

I've never really had the occasion to be either disappointed in or impressed by T's memory/note-taking skills. He meets my (not terribly high) expectations. I'm used to telling students when they should write something down, though, and sometimes had a hard time not giving T the same direction.

As for your new T's memory for words/phrases. Wow. It's very impressive but it might make me feel a little too scrutinized or something. I'm not sure how I'd feel about it.

Reminds me a bit of the Chappelle skit Home Stenographer | Chappelle's Show | CCUK

[MrsDuckL]

That’s really great! I’m happy for you, it makes me feel validated when my therapist remembers stuff.

My therapist’s memory is quite good. He never ever takes notes but manages to remember almost everything. (The one time he did write something down I got freaked out and was concerned I said something wrong—he laughed, said it was just a point he wanted to come back to—and went back to never taking notes.) Occasionally he will forget a minor point or minor detail, but it doesn’t bother me. Oftentimes he will grab the next client right after me, so if he is taking notes, its not until hours later. I have a pretty good memory myself, so I always appreciate that my therapist has a good memory and I don’t have to explain things more than once.

[guilloche]

New T seems to have a good memory, from what I can tell. She'll ask me about things from several sessions ago, or remind me of something that I said. I thought that *I* had a good memory, but she'll pull up things that I don't remember at all (but don't doubt are right).

I'm not sure yet how it makes me feel... kind of a little nervous, I think? I don't feel very consistent, so it makes me a tiny bit more wary when I talk... because I don't know if I'll feel the same way in 2 weeks, and if T thinks that the things I'm saying are actually stable things, rather than in-the-moment things, it becomes a bit difficult, for me later, to have to backtrack and clarify.

Old T... OMG. He couldn't remember things from session to session. He claims that he "remembers the big things" and I guess, he does. And he takes tons of notes - but then can't figure out what his notes mean (he once read me something that he had jotted down, and asked me to explain what it was supposed to mean!)

That definitely didn't feel good. We had talked about it, and I understood it was just how his brain worked, and not an indication that he didn't care - but it's hard to feel like therapy is a continuous process, week to week, when your therapist can't remember the stuff from the week before. And, it was hard for me - because I wanted to go home after a session, think about what was said, and come back and ask him questions (like, "what did you mean by this?" and "was there something specific that I said or did that made you think to say that?") - but he couldn't tell me why he said things the week before, because he literally didn't remember saying them.

[feileacan]

My T's memory is good and I'm not sure he takes any notes. However, I would absolutely hate if my T would say to me back my own words. I would not be touched at all, but rather irritated. To me it means parroting. If he can't rephrase what I said then it means that he just memorised what I said but really didn't understand anything.

Needless to say, it is very hard to reflect things back to me because that sounds very much like parroting again. Then I'm like "isn't it exactly what I told you? Do you think that I don't know what I'm telling you so that you have to repeat it back to me?"

His memory is amazing. He sometimes remembers exact things I said two or three years ago. Sometimes things I need to be reminded of myself. I think it's a really important quality. I'm glad you're getting to experience it after previously having a therapist who couldn't even remember that plurals don't need apostrophes.

[pepper_mint]

My T's memory is much better than mine
She remembers my dreams which I described almost a year ago! And even I don't remember them anymore.
I'm really impressed and I have no idea how does she do it?
She never makes any notes!

[LostOnTheTrail]

R has a very good memory, considering the complexity of the experience we are working on. 'I'm not gonna lie, [significant date] has become significant to me...'

No notes during session, no notes after (for confidentiality purposes) and yet she still remembers if I have a specific question about something she's said.

[Pennster]

Im impressed by all the good memories so many of your therapists have -I think mine has a pretty unremarkable memory. I don't think it's bad but I don't think it's one of his big strengths either. I tend to remind him of a lot of stuff as I don't expect him to remember everything.

Better than mine. LOL!

Decent enough. I don't expect him to keep straight every person's name, etc., but he remembers what is truly important quite well.

[benzenering]

he has a really good one, rarely forgets anything.

[snowangel17]

Originally Posted by Pennster

Im impressed by all the good memories so many of your therapists have -I think mine has a pretty unremarkable memory. I don't think it's bad but I don't think it's one of his big strengths either. I tend to remind him of a lot of stuff as I don't expect him to remember everything.

I'm the same. I just always seem to presume/expect that he won't remember. I wonder does this impact it at all or even impact my memory of his memory?
If I am retelling a story I'll often lead with 'I'm sure you don't remember when I told you about x but....'. He rarely interjects to say 'oh yes I remember you saying that' except for maybe a few occasions. I would think if a T takes notes then their memory should be better but I guess not...

[winterblues17]

Really good and probably better than mine!