Can You Really Tell Your T Everything ?

Hi Guy`s ,

I hope you are all doing well.

I have been building trust with may T for some time now and have told my T stuff I have never been able to say aloud to even myself.

Yesterday I had a good day , had lunch and fell a sleep !! LOL , it was a good lunch !! LOL

I woke up with these thoughts , and I watched a Kati Morton video , and it clarified my thoughts even more.

They are / were not repressed memories , I have know they have been buried for years , but want to now more , so I found the website ( sorry I can`t provide link ) , and it listed 25 things an adult goes through if they were subjected to emotional abuse as a child. I read the list and started to freak out thinking how they could get my information , of course I am just saying that so much of what I read 22 out of the 25 , I am going through right now.

So my question is actually simple , should I tell my therapist about what happened to me as a kid ? To me after reading that website I should , but the thing is I don`t want my T to refer me out because of all the trust I have built up.

At the same time I feel like if I don`t tell my T then how can I get help dealing with all that junk.

There are days , months , when I never give it a thought , then there are time it haunts the hell out of me. Some of the stuff is really heavy and the last thing I want or need is my T bailing on me , not after the trust. ( sorry I keep repeating myself , it happens )

Any suggestions would be most grateful , thank you all

Later ,

Keyplayer. 

Why do you think he would refer you out?

Hi NP ,

Because some of the stuff I need to let my T know , is stuff nobody should have to read or hear about.

Lossing all the trust , would probably keep me from ever seeing another therapist.

Thanks for you reply

KP. 

I think its important for healing that you are 100% open with your therapist. Mine makes me do a diary each day that we review every week. Everything goes on there that goes on with me and its so helpful. Good luck .

I don't think sharing your "stuff" would be a reason for him to send you somewhere else.

I think it would build the trust, both ways.

I've shared things with my counselor that no one else knows.

Recently, there was something that I wanted him to know but I couldn't speak it out loud. I wrote it in a card and asked him to read it silently. It felt really good that someone knew what I couldn't say.

I just googled and found a web site like that. And recognized my pre-therapy self in every.single.one. I still do some of them of course... but it's nice to know that therapy has helped me with many of them!

I wish you all the best. I used to write things down and hand the paper to t to read silently, the stuff I couldn't say. Nowadays I can say pretty much anything but it took a long time (we just reached the 6 year mark in November)

I guess I think that's kind of the point of therapy - to be able to tell your therapist the things that no one should have to hear. My honest opinion is that he wouldn't refer you out if you told him, but it's a real fear you have. Can you have a conversation with him about your fears about being referred out if you bring up topics? Kind of talking about talking about things without getting into the specific things you want to talk about. I had some fears of being fired before and I told my therapist about it and he assured me that that would never happen. He had to tell me more than once, but now I feel secure on that point.

Ask "hypothetically" if your T would want to know, and let him give you clues. Stress you have trust and don't want to be referred out.

That's kind of their job, to be the person who you tell those things that are so difficult that you couldn't tell just anyone.

Hi Guy`s ,

Thanks so much for all your thoughtful replies , I appreciate all your input.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to start telling my T that I do have something important and I would like to talk about it , but it is real sensitive and I would not want to be referred out.

That makes sense , if my T says , well I might have to , then I can just move on , but I can`t really do that either. I have told my T a ton of stuff , and have gotten some great help.

Maybe I will just play it by ear , but I guess if your a therapist to begin with , you really don`t run from stuff anyway.

OK-- I am permanently messed up !! LOL

Thanks again for all your help ,

Later ,

KP. 

to answer your title question, yes but with risk.... there is some things they would have to report or transfer for, so its not "safe" as they claim

however in your instance, i would say neither of those, i have had childhood abuse issues and its just been worked through, nothing was made a drastic thing about it. its up to you if you wanna say but i would not worry about anything bad happening if you do

Hi DP ,

The abuse never came from my late mom or dad.

It was all emotional stuff that sometimes rears it ugly head when you least expect it.

Take care , thanks again for the info

Keyplayer. 

Sorry I misread your post... but anyway ya, unless its self harm/ harming others or potentially with some T's feelings for them.... i would not worry all the best

Hi DP ,

Like I said my late mom and dad were fantastic parents , never any abuse of any kind or neglect , except when mom got sad.

My dad had this huge family and a ton of friends who could have been nicer people , but were not.

These are not repressed memories I just happened to have surface , I would think of this stuff from time to time , and until yesterday , I thought it was normal.

Until watching a Kati Morton video on emotion abuse and doing research .

The participants are either long gone or passed , except one , I really should not say anymore here.

Thanks for all you help , if any of you would like to PM me that would be fine , it just would not be right to go into any detail on an open thread , I am sure you can all understand , thanks.

Take care

KP 

I don't think I have the same history but I google something similar and I fit almost all the things. I also have great parents altough not really close but I think maybe people in school and stuff may have messed me up. Pls feel free to pm me if you like to talk.

Hi MessyD ,

Thanks , you have a PM

KP. 

I'm not sure, I mean I guess I could. But sometimes she'll say such nice things about me and I start to think about what would alter her opinion about me.