What do you do when your T upsets you?

Marsfx · Dec 02, 2017, 01:43 PM

Usually I like to process it as best I can before bringing it up. Otherwise I'll get stuck in an "I don't know" loop because I hadn't thought that far about the situation.

Dec 02, 2017, 03:01 PM

It certainly happened but I think I tended to recognize it right then and there and we handled it on the spot. If I didn't notice it until later, I'd probably just wait until the next session because generally those times when he upset me, I was immediately super upset and let him have right then and there. My guess, for me, would be that if I didn't recognize it right away, it is probably something that can wait until next session.

stopdog · Dec 02, 2017, 03:23 PM

For me I rarely to react in the moment. My ability to not react serves me well in any number of capacities. My job as an attorney or even as a professor , goes much better when I don't let my emotions over rule my ability to think. Therefore, for me, it was often not until I've had a chance to reflect on the situation that I knew that the woman had been wrong, failed, mocked me, etc

Dec 02, 2017, 03:46 PM

I always talk with him about it and don't hold back, which I recently realized isn't always a good thing to do, as he often doesn't handle it well.

Sometimes he handles it better than other times. This week was ok. He'll never admit fault or even the slightest contribution to a relational problem, but at least he listened this week and could have a conversation about it without getting too defensive. He was nice to me at the end of session, which helped me stay together.

BlueJeans00 · Dec 02, 2017, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoConfused623

I used to have a blank slate T, and she did not allow email or texting... So if we had a rupture I'd have to wait all week ir even 2 weeks to talk to her! Now my current T allows email and if something is bothering me abiut her or our session I send her an email about it and she responds through email and then we talk more about it at our next session if necessary.

I would never go to a T now that didn't allow email. When I didn't have email access I would ruminate about things all week and it pretty much ruined my life as I was unable to do my work. Things are so much better now with my new T!

Wow! That is what I experience.
I don't think the blank slate approach is effective at all.

HowDoYouFeelMeow? · Dec 03, 2017, 01:12 PM

I usually don't have to do anything because my body language clearly shows that I'm upset. She'll then pause and ask me what's going on in my head and encourage me to tell her how she's upset me. If it's a miscommunication, she'll clarify what she meant. If she was in the wrong, she'll apologize and then I forgive her. We have a good working relationship, even through the inevitable bumps. I'm thankful for that.

Dec 09, 2017, 10:15 PM

Exit center stage left and don't return... I have no time for bs!
What do you do when your T upsets you?

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What do you do when your T upsets you?

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