What's in your name?

My T usually greets me using my surname. During sessions she just addresses me with the formal "you". While this is the usual way to do it in my language / culture it does seem kinda weird to me sometimes. After all I tell her the most intimate and personal things.

When working with ego-states she has referred to one of my "parts" as little clueda. That's always very surprising and strange but at the same time it makes me feel very .

I would think that she's (the "t") aware of her limitations regarding terms of endearment as a child. Even if she were aware of kiddie monikers, she might not be comfortable using them as the need presented itself. If she is to emulate composure to me, then her own compsure needs to be available for both of us.

Yes she calls me by my name. I don’t have any feelings about it. I think it’s quite normal to call people by their name.

How often does your t refer to you by name?

Almost never. Thank heavens. She has mentioned it once or twice in the last year or so (of mostly twice-weekly sessions).

Do you like or dislike it? Why?

I hate it when she does -- for one, she mangles the pronunciation. Not her fault but in my stupid brain, I am reminded of exactly how distant she is from my life and as I've been trying to create distance from my family all this while, it suddenly feels like I'm sitting with a total stranger and a cold one at that.

The way she pronounces it (and I think it's a regional thing) is also very very similar to how a douchebag that I used to be friends with, pronounced it. And, so I got this irrational sense of nausea when she said it.

What does being called your name by your t do for you?

I really don't like my name. It's rather gendered. And, I've never felt like it was "me".

So, when she says it, I really am not too thrilled -- because, again, in some stupid part of my brain, I expect her to connect all the dots and know that somehow my name + my convoluted gender identity issues don't go well together. But, I don't think she's made all those connections (although she's pretty solid on that front in general).

It seems most people in my age group allow a high value for "on a first name basis" relationship ratings. Surnames are properly formal, adequately professional. To be on a first name basis with celebrities, high powered politicians, and even everyday professional therapists and/or clinicians can be a silent boost to an individual's id, ego and super-ego.

It's very common for people with names that create problems or frequent inconveniences to alter or even completely change their name. A college professor that I once studied under was named Gregopolis (sp?). He changed it to Gregory, Dr. Gregory.

I wonder what a boost to the (unconscious) id would feel like? Seriously. Like the thought makes me wonder, sometimes when I feel good and confident but I have no idea where it came from, was there some unknown unconscious boost? Oh the things I wonder about while on a therapy break. Not a reason to go back early though. Heh.

My T greets me by name when she comes and gets me in the waiting room, but other than that she doesn't use my name often. Pretty much only when she's about to tell me something serious or she really wants to get my attention ("Now, Annie, I have to tell you...")

On the flip side, I NEVER use her name to her face, not ever. In my head I call her by her first name. At the front desk they refer to her as "Dr. (last name)." When I make appointments with them (and my therapist is not around) I say "I need to schedule an appointment with (T's first name and last name)" because it feels awkwardly formal to call her by her professional title when that's not really what our relationship is like.

What's in a name? Identity. Academic, medical, family, employment, and social stressors are in a name. History and historical identity is in a name and to make sure of this its all requested during intake documentation. A name is to a receptionist = an identity, to a therapist = a personality, a history, a modifiable pattern of behavior, a psychosocial entity and so on. It's always these things whether liked or not. To hear one's name is to instantly have summoned all of these things into preconscious memory filtered and/or organized only by one's present mood. Enough said. I really don't intend to be guilty of excess input on this topic. Nevertheless, it remains inviting.

Thanks for the memories . . . .

Guess what? My t called me by name twice in the last week. I’m ecstatic! Lol

He did it twice last night

He has a nickname for me