[KrissCross]

I booked my appt. online yesterday for the year 2018.
Same day, same time as current.
I am consistent with my time every single week.

I got an email from T last night, saying he gave away my slot to someone else. Another client had asked him to reschedule his appt.s to MY time and he had agreed.
I dont know why he would agree, why he would think I would change my time. I will give him benefit of doubt there. But the appt was showing available online, and i took it and booked it for next 3 months.

Shouldnt i get to keep this appt?

T has given me choice to pick from another 2 available times. Which dont work well for me.

My time slot is gone. He will not give it back to me. It belongs to another client, now. Even though i booked it online, like i was supposed to.
Not sure, how he picked who gets that time, between the other client and I.
it sucks and it feels like he chose the other client over me.

this is so unexpected and out of the blue.
i feel so trashy, its like i left something of mine in Ts presence and i thought it was safe with him,and he gave it away to someone else. and is saying to me now, hey i didnt know u were coming back . ofcourse i was gonna come back. why wouldnt i ? i have ALWAYS come back.

this may be the end.

[runlola72]

I would be furious. He absolutely should have asked you. There is no excuse for not having done so. Wow.

[Out There]

That would upset me too - and T's should realise that will upset clients. I'm sorry this has happened.

[LonesomeTonight]

I'd also be really upset. He should have asked you before giving the slot away. He should go back to the other client and tell him/her that he gave the slot away by mistake...

I would be so mad! The very LEAST he could have done is ask you if its ok, to give you the opportunity to say NO way.

[wheeler]

I would be crushed by this. I don’t know if I would accept that he made a mistake and apologized. But if he didn’t offer to change it back I don’t think I could see him anymore.

[KrissCross]

I dont have a place to say no. He has asked me to reschedule out of "necessity and convenience".
Whose necessity? whose convenience?
Definitely NOT mine.
His necessity. Yes
His convenience. Yes
Other Client's necessity, Yes
Other Client's convenience, Yes

I am not there, at all !!!!

I feel I should not have been asked to reschedule at all.
I have a regular time and day.

Other client is changing their regular time and taking MINE.

[Teddy Bear]

I would be upset hopefully you can find a time that works for you

[healinginprogress]

That would lead to a one last appointment where my T could make it up to me by giving me my appointment back. Then I would look into a new T.

[Taylor27]

That would upset me, can you talk to him next time you see him express how hurt you are and that he should of ask you if it was ok first.

[Lemoncake]

This would really hurt me. It's not okay at all.

[unaluna]

The t needs to take responsibility for his scheduling, not blame it on the computer! This is totally bogus. What is he, Ticketmaster? First come, first serve? These arent baseball tickets!! He needs to fix his mistake. I would think about reporting him. This does not seem like an ethical way to schedule patients.

I'm so sorry that happened. That would really hurt and upset me. The very LEAST he should have done is asked you if you would be ok with it, I would think.

[SalingerEsme]

Yes T needs to accept that the "frame and boundaries" they make such a big deal about apply to him too. Time and regular date are their part of the deal, just like we cant show up at other times or at their houses etc. So sorry- I would be very upset also.

[feileacan]

I would require for further collaboration a very good and solid explanation on T's part how such a thing could even happen and why doesn't he change it back. Without this explanation, or if it's missing, an apology and an attempt to fix things I don't think I would be able to continue with this T.

[Bill3]

T acted disgracefully. I would not continue with that T after his display of utter indifference to my feelings.

[junkDNA]

My t has done this a few times. In our case it was confusion and misunderstanding brought on by me threatening to leave therapy. It did hurt and feel like a punishment from T. I realize though that I was being confusing and crazylike.

I'm sorry your T did that. That must be so frustrating and hurtful. I think you should tell him how it made you feel

[Favorite Jeans]

Wow. That's awful. You have all my empathy. I'm not sure I'd be able to continue with a therapist after they made a serious mistake like that and then proceeded to handle the discussion about it in such a mean, shaming and negating way. I think it would be a bridge burned beyond repair.

[scorpiosis37]

That’s not okay on T’s part. I think I would tell the T the other times offered do NOT work for me and ask for my old time back. I would tell T how important it is to keep my time slot and say that if I can’t have it back it won’t be possible to continue therapy. Doesn’t the T understand that you also have a schedule and schedule other commitments around that time slot? I’m so sorry this is happening to you.

[Amyjay]

Kriss, you have been crossed. That is so awful and morally wrong in so many ways. I would be outraged to the point of likely not being able to return. I am sorry this happened to you.

[guilloche]

Oh wow...

That's amazingly awful of your T. Seriously. If he forgot that you have that slot, he should be embarrassed, apologizing, and fixing it - by giving you the slot back and asking the other client to either resume her old slot, or find a new one that's not already spoken for.

If he did it on purpose, then... just wow. That's beyond words. Incredibly rude on his part, and really bad professionally. Has he behaved in other unprofessional ways? This just seems so... surprisingly bad, like it's really not even a gray area, that it's hard to think this is his only screw-up!

I think it's really easy for us to say we wouldn't go back. I certainly wouldn't WANT to go back. But, in reality, I'd look at my history with the T and how things were going otherwise... before this, how was the relationship? The trust? Was he actually helping? Did you feel like you were making progress?

If he's otherwise a fantastic T, as much as it would pain me, I *might* consider going back, because it's hard to find Ts that I can work with (for me, personally). But under these circumstances, I honestly don't know if I could do it. I think I'd feel like he doesn't respect me or care for my well-being, and honestly, it would be hard for me not just to continue working with him in those circumstances, but it would also be hard to feel OK with paying him. Why should I contribute to his financial success, when he can't even manage something as simple as keeping my appointment time, and holding that for me (or at least having the decency to *ask* if I'm able to change it, before giving it away).

And, just to be clear, yes he should absolutely give you the time back. I've actually been in that position - new T offered me a slot that we thought might work better for my drive/work. A couple days later, she emailed me and told me that she forgot, she has a person who regularly comes then (who is winding down therapy and nearly done, which is why she had forgotten re: scheduling). She told me that I'd be first on the list for that slot opened up, if I wanted it, but it's not actually open now - and asked me if I could go back to the slot that I had before. Which was fine...

Good luck. Have you had a chance to talk to your T about this, like on the phone (not email or texting)? Have you expressed how upset you are, and that it feels like he chose this other client over you?

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this - therapy is hard enough without Ts making it harder!!!!

[AllHeart]

So therapy is just streaming along and for no reason whatsoever, and without warning, the therapist tells you he gave your regular spot away because he didn't know you were coming back in 2018? Unreal. I would certainly question his motives for making such an underhanded move. Even more concerning is his lack of integrity in repairing his atrocious mistake.

How long have you been seeing this therapist? Have there been other problems with him? Just wondering if he recently lost his marbles or if he's been missing a few for a while. Regardless, I'd be highly upset. I find his actions to be completely unacceptable. If he can't repair this, I'd leave and file a grievance, though easier said than done for many. Sorry you have been dealt this blow.

[Sarmas]

I would be highly upset and you have no reason why to feel “trashy”. He should feel “trashy” for doing so. I wouldn’t be able to handle that and I left my T for something to the same effect. I would give him my two cents but he has already developed an excuse. It’s still unacceptable. I do believe that some Ts manipulate the schedule and people depending on what generates the best income and who they prefer not to accept. That’s especially important I. A world where people place reviews online. I know my T has booted me out of my usual hour to accommodate a family or others. Then she follows it by some reasoning full of bs.

[KrissCross]

I dont think i can go back.
By doing this, he has shown me how much he values my time and commitment.
He has given me 2 time slots to pick and i cant do either of them.
There is no mention of getting my old appt back.
Even if i ask, i know he wont do it. he has given his word to the other client and he will keep it. he had to choose between the 2 and he chose the other client.

Apology? yes i got one.
' I apologize for the inconvenience of asking to reschedule and I want you to know that I am only asking out of necessity and convenience, not because I do not like you or do not want to work with you."

No acknowledgement of his mistake.
i dont think he realizes what he did and how wrong he is .

i have been seeing him for 2 years. there have been a few things like this that happened before, i gave him benefit of doubt . its nothing personal and things happen.
if this was one appt....fine. but completely giving away my regular time is too much. i can not be that much of a doormat !

I will be emailing him, on monday.
I plan on writing in detail how this was HIS mistake. and he should have corrected it.
I do not need his response, or his excuses.
I am deeply hurt and i have come to understand where i have stood all along among his clients. its slowly, painfully, sinking in.
he may be able to work me in on another time. but do i want to after this?
Not at all.

i knew we would end someday...but didnt expect that i will literally be kicked off his schedule for another client.

just. like. that.

it will end.

my heart hurts. this is not at all what i expected of him.

[guilloche]

Originally Posted by KrissCross

I have never called him in the last 2 years. He actually never gave me his cell number. He has never called as well.

I just read your other reply. Again, I'm so sorry. I think your anger is completely justified. I'm still in shock that he doesn't seem to realize what a breach this is on his part. It's shocking to me - as a random person on the internet that doesn't know either of you, I can only imagine how much more upsetting and shocking it is to you!

Does he not have an office number that patients use to reach him? That strikes me as strange. I don't tend to call my therapists either (I much prefer email), but there have been times when email was done, for example, or it was something that needed an immediate response (i.e. my previous therapist has called me asking if I could change the time of my appointment for that day - it was OK if I couldn't, but he needed me to call him back and let him know either way, ASAP, so that he could plan for it.)

Have you had a chance to let him know that the new times he proposed don't work for you? I'm just wondering if he acknowledged that at all?

I'm so sorry...