[star68]

Hi, I have been going to a psychotherapist for bereavement. I filled her with all my family background information and I am talking most of the time she hardly gives me an opinion about what I am talking about or guidance to put my feelings in order. I thought she had enough information to start explaining some of the questions I was asking her, but all she said was that she couldn't give me an answer or an explanation she could only help me unfold my feelings but she had no answers I felt like the hours of talking and explaining that I did were for nothing. What is the point of telling a therapist your life story for her to reply that there are no answers. I am literally getting nowhere with therapy, it's very disappointing Has anybody experienced this situation with a therapist? Thank you.

[Pennster]

That sounds frustrating. It might be difficult in that therapists have different ways of working - some of them are more into answering questions and explaining things than others. Could you ask her more about the way she works? And tell her what you are looking for? It might be good to get her to explain more about what she is doing and how she thinks it might help.

[Skeezyks]

Hello star: Welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. May I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

As Pennster wrote, different therapists have different methodologies. And not every therapist works well with every client. Sometimes it can take a few tries to find the right therapist for you. If you feel you can, I would simply suggest expressing your concerns to your therapist & see if the two of you can come to some agreement as to how to proceed. If not, then it may make sense to seek out a different therapist. I know it can be a pain to change therapists & have to go through everything again with a new person. But unfortunately that's the name of the game when it comes to therapy. At least that's been my experience.

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!

[Ididitmyway]

Yours is one of the typical frustrating situations people experience in therapy in cases when therapists don't explain how they work before the work starts. While your therapist has the right to use her own approach, she was supposed to inform you about the approach/philosophy she follows at the onset of therapy to make sure that you and she are on the same page. She didn't do it, and, as a result, you were under the impression that she does the work the way you thought therapy was supposed to be done when she was following a different idea. You didn't realize that you and she were not on the same page until you've had a certain number of sessions and have spent a certain amount of $$ I presume. Your frustration is completely valid and, in case you are angry about this, the anger is also valid. This was an ethical failure on your therapist's part. I realize that for many people on this board, this misunderstanding is not a big deal, but, in fact, therapists are ethically obligated to inform prospective clients about their methods of practice before the work starts so people could make informed choices of whether they want to go ahead with those methods or not. Informed consent is not in the area of professional law but it is in the area of professional ethics. That is to say that it is not legally but ethically required to be obtained from a client before the commencement of treatment.

So, briefly, the response of your therapist is "normal" in a sense that she has the right to use the methods and the approaches she believes in. What is not normal is that she didn't take time in the beginning to explain how she works so you'd be able to decide if that's what you need.

[Wonderfalls]

I don't know what your questions were but I would mistrust a therapist who claimed to have all the answers. To me that would seem more how a life coach sort of deal. I would think, though, as Ididitmyway says, that you could root around and find someone willing to supply you with all the answers you want.(Right or wrong. She's not gong to know you or your situation as well as you do.)