[Salmon77]

Sometimes I read the Psychotherapy forum on Reddit, and right now the Ts there are having a discussion about tissues. So I was curious what people on here felt about it. I'd do a poll but honestly I don't know how, so I'll just ask the question:

When you start crying/tearing up in therapy, does the T pass you the tissues? Or are the tissues somewhere close at hand for you to find by yourself? Or something else? What do you prefer and why?

[growlycat]

Tissues are usually close by. When I’ve started crying he offers to make me tea. I do like the gesture, it feels caring.

I used to have a t who would just stare blankly at me until I got it together enough to start talking again. Things did not work out with that t.

[stopdog]

I don't know - I have never cried at an appointment. I did always carry my own handkerchief in the exceedingly unlikely chance that it happened. I did not want to depend upon the therapist or her kleenex.

One time she told me that if her dog was there and the client cried - that the dog would go over to the client and lick them or jump on them and that would make the crying stop - except she used a mocking phrase for it.
Sort of made me certain that if I had ever cried, god forbid, that doing it around her would be extremely unsafe.

[atisketatasket]

I tried reading that thread and the second post started with a statement that this is “one of those over-thinking things that us therapist types like to do.” My experience of them is they under-think. And the more important the issue, the less thinking they do.

However. I have had a range, from passing me the box to pulling tissues out and handing them to me to pointing out the box to me and making sure I knew where it was. None of them have done nothing.

No. 2 had some sort of “Frozen” tie-in tissues that were cold to the touch. Everyone else had standard tissues.

[Salmon77]

Just to answer my own question: my T keeps tissues on a side table close to where I sit and I get as needed. I think it's a fine set up, I wouldn't like it if he handed me tissues because I don't like needing help.

[winterblues17]

I haven't cried In session, but I think if I ever did I'd be too embarrassed to ask for or get a tissue myself, so unless she passed them or told me I could get some it would be a sleeve job lol.

[MessyD]

Originally Posted by winterblues17

I haven't cried In session, but I think if I ever did I'd be too embarrassed to ask for or get a tissue myself, so unless she passed them or told me I could get some it would be a sleeve job lol.

Yep, this is what I would worry about too. Don't think I would reach for them, altough I'm pretty sure they're sitting on a side table, sure wouldnt ask. And then if he would offer, I think I would probably feel even worse cause I'm such a mess. But I don't think I really need to worry about that because that's probably never going to happen.

But different people have different feelings about this.

[winterblues17]

Originally Posted by MessyD

Yep, this is what I would worry about too. Don't think I would reach for them, altough I'm pretty sure they're sitting on a side table, sure wouldnt ask. And then if he would offer, I think I would probably feel even worse cause I'm such a mess. But I don't think I really need to worry about that because that's probably never going to happen.

But different people have different feelings about this.

Yep I think we pretty much the same, especially from your other thread where no matter how you feeling, as soon as you walk in there, it's like nothing!
I feel I now want to ask about this with her? But considering I can't do the emotional side of feelings, it would seem pretty pointless!

They're on a table attached to the couch.

[annielovesbacon]

I'm not sure -- I've never cried in therapy. But the box of tissues sits on the little table which is next to my therapist (although I guess some clients may sit in that chair, there are two chairs and clients choose where they'd like to sit). Just knowing my therapist, and the fact that the tissues are out of reach, I figure she'd hand me the box and let me cry it out.

[MessyD]

Originally Posted by winterblues17

Yep I think we pretty much the same, especially from your other thread where no matter how you feeling, as soon as you walk in there, it's like nothing!
I feel I now want to ask about this with her? But considering I can't do the emotional side of feelings, it would seem pretty pointless!

Hi my twin, you're right about that too. We even talked about what would happen if that would happen but I kind of feel the same, it's pointless, I just don't think he got that from what I was saying. And it was the same today, told him I was fine today comparing to the whole week. And he was trying to figure out what was different about today. I don't know, I felel like he was just acting like dummy, but maybe he really didn't know, I'm not great at expressing myself to. Anyway, I don't want to hijack OPs thread but you can pm me if you like.

[Travelinglady]

On a nearby table. They're perfectly fine with crying, since they keep them handy.

[LonesomeTonight]

Current T has boxes in a few locations around the room, including in a sort of hidden spot next to where I sit. The first time I started crying in there, I think he could tell I was glancing around for tissues, and he pointed out the box to me. I was like, "Oh, that's convenient!"

Marriage counselor generally just has one box, and they're often next to me, but sometimes another client has moved them. I've learned to check their location and move them to me before most appointments (since I sometimes cry in there). In the past, I've had him pass the box to me a few times if I started crying and realized it wasn't there. I generally just ball up the tissues and hold onto them, then toss them at the end of session (trash can is under MC's desk), but one time, I was really weepy, and MC took the trash can out from under his desk and put it in front of me, saying, "That way you don't have to hold them in your lap." That felt really caring to me. (Though then afterward I was like, "Only I would find a trash can caring!")

I'd feel weird if they handed me an individual tissue--I mean, I guess if I was completely hysterical, I could see that, I suppose?

[Pennster]

My therapist's are usually on a table between our two chairs. Sometimes they aren't close enough to reach so he shoves them over my way.

Once he was out of tissues - he was totally mortified as he set a big roll of paper towels on the table, and said something like, "what kind of crap therapist runs out of tissues?!" I actually found it very funny. And as I tend to harshly criticize myself when I do stupid things it was weirdly helpful, because he's really not a crap therapist.

[KrissCross]

My T has it in front... on the coffee table that is between us.

never cried. hopefully never will. and will not need to use his darn tissues !!!!

[LonesomeTonight]

Another note about tissues--MC and ex-T both use the square-box kind for offices. Most of the tissues are white, but the last, say, 10 tissues are yellow. Although they'd been using the same tissues for years, I was apparently the first person to alert each of them to this! I made some comment like, "Uh-oh, you're almost out of tissues, I'd better be careful in using them," and they asked how I knew that. Then marveled that they had not realized the color change near the end...

[KrissCross]

@lonesome who would have thought?

i probably would have missed it too.

ur attention to detail is great.

[Lemoncake]

R keeps them on the floor, next to blue sofa which I prefer to be honest. I'm a big crier and I've bought him a box as a joke present to replace all the ones I've used. The other two therapists I saw before him didn't have them within reach.

[ElectricManatee]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Another note about tissues--MC and ex-T both use the square-box kind for offices. Most of the tissues are white, but the last, say, 10 tissues are yellow. Although they'd been using the same tissues for years, I was apparently the first person to alert each of them to this! I made some comment like, "Uh-oh, you're almost out of tissues, I'd better be careful in using them," and they asked how I knew that. Then marveled that they had not realized the color change near the end...

That's fascinating! Like the red stripe on the receipt at the grocery store when the printer is low on tape. I did not realize these existed.

My T uses Puffs tissues, and we have joked about how she needs an endorsement, maybe with a branded jumpsuit to wear, like a racecar driver. I admit I buy Puffs for home now too, which is kind of silly, but I like it.

The tissues are on a little side table next to where I sit. I like being able to control whether I want one and how many I use. Yesterday I shed exactly one tear (always out of the left eye, so weird!) but for some reason I really didn't want a tissue in that moment, so I'm glad my T didn't foist one upon me. But I can see where other people might find it comforting to be handed tissues.

I am 100% sure that my T has thought about her tissue deployment strategy because she tends to overthink everything (including which chair I select in the waiting room, no joke!). Sometimes I get eye-rolly about her over-analysis, but then I feel free to tell her when something incredibly small about her or her office is bothering me, so it goes both ways.

[healinginprogress]

She has them all over the room. Well within reach no matter where you're sitting. I do think it would be wierd for her to have to hand them to me.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Tissues are on the other side of the couch. When I cry, she gets up and gives them to me. In the beginning, she didn't, but I told her I wanted her to, so now she does.

[junkDNA]

He sits them near me but I never use them

[feileacan]

I guess they are on the table in front of him. I lie on the couch and they are out of my reach. Long time ago he tried to offer them to me but I don't really use tissues when I'm crying and so he doesn't do that anymore.

My last therapist used to pass them to me. Current therapist has them on a table right beside me. I'm a crier. I fight the tears, but they always come either during the session or after in my car.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

My T doesn't have tissues for his clients in his office. At least not that I know. I usually bring my own tissues. And if I forget them I wipe my eyes with my sleeve, which I don't really mind to do. I'd find it rather weird to be offered tissues or getting them from some provided place, actually.