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  #176  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 05:56 AM
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Lemoncake Lemoncake is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker View Post
I am such a proud mum, my eldest daughter got her final grade last Saturday, this morning she was offered a place at our top university. She was getting ready to go to one of the other choices as she didnt think she would get in now she has ro reverse all her plans. She wants to study Goverment and industrial relations, i have no idea but if thats what she wants
A huge congrats to her and you for being so supportive!


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  #177  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 08:59 AM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElectricManatee View Post
LT, my opinion is that that was a really minor forgivable faux pas, if he is indeed Jewish, which you have no way of knowing for sure. (I kind of doubt he would tell you even if you did ask..?) I think most reasonable people happily accept well-intentioned good wishes, even if they plan to spend Christmas Day eating Chinese food and going to the movies.
Thanks, I'm sure you're right...he doesn't seem like he'd be the type to take offense at that. Also you're likely right that he might not tell me if I asked (he's managed to dodge anything I've said to try to tease out his political beliefs)--I was going to say something yesterday like, "Do you celebrate Christmas?" because that's not directly asking about religion, because someone could also be Christian and not celebrate. My H had a friend (who sadly passed away a few years ago) who was Jewish, and his family still celebrated Christmas, like exchanged presents and stuff.
  #178  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 08:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker View Post
I am such a proud mum, my eldest daughter got her final grade last Saturday, this morning she was offered a place at our top university. She was getting ready to go to one of the other choices as she didnt think she would get in now she has ro reverse all her plans. She wants to study Goverment and industrial relations, i have no idea but if thats what she wants
That's awesome, BCM! Congrats to your daughter!
  #179  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 09:04 AM
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Originally Posted by mostlylurking View Post
LT, I think it's a bit automatic to reciprocate with similar sentiments, when it comes to social greetings or goodbyes. I've had times where I reciprocate and it doesn't even make sense, like I'm going out of town and a friend says "Have a good trip!" and I say "Thanks, you too!" and they're not actually going anywhere.
Thanks, I've actually done the same thing. Like I'm walking into a movie, and the ticket taker says "Enjoy the movie," and I say, "you too!" I've almost reciprocated "Happy Birthday" before as well.

Quote:
Since he didn't actually tell you his religion or his holiday plans you were really just following his lead, it's a natural social instinct I think. I highly doubt he took offense (they're supposed to read our body language and tone of voice, right? and you were being kind).
That's true as well--it's not like he commented on lighting the menorah and I said, "Rejoice in the birth of Christ!" or something. (OK, I'm laughing at the image of my saying that...) I'm sure he knew I meant it in good spirits. I had mentioned something in the previous session about still needing to buy Christmas presents, so he knew I celebrated (plus I think there was a spot on the intake form to list religion).
Thanks for this!
ElectricManatee
  #180  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 09:13 AM
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Originally Posted by kecanoe View Post
Lt, I agree with the other posters here. Based on last name he may or may not be a practicing Jew, in fact it might be offensive to assume that he is.

I am sure he is fine with it. My Jewish nieces and their families (who vary in their practices) would all be ok with it. It wasn't offered to offend or to somehow convert.
Thanks, that's an excellent point that it could be offensive to assume he's a practicing Jew based on his name... I'm thinking now of an episode of Seinfeld where Jerry was dating this woman whose last name was "Chang," and George's mother took advice from her on the phone, assuming she was Chinese (and thinking she was wise like Confucius or something). When she was actually white and Jewish (and George's mom then no longer accepted her advice).

But you're right that I'm sure he's fine with it. I mean, I guess if I'm still thinking about it, I could always say at the start of next session that I reflexively said "You too" when he wished me a good Christmas, and that I had no idea if he celebrated, that I'm not asking him if he does, but if he doesn't, hope he didn't take offense because that's not how I meant it (only maybe rephrase it, because that's kinda long!) I'm sure he'd probably find it interesting that I was even concerned he could have been offended...which could be a topic of conversation. Because that would suggest I worry about the same with other people in my life (or even strangers). So maybe it would be worth bringing up!
Thanks for this!
kecanoe
  #181  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 09:15 AM
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LT, I would not worry about that at all. You have no way of knowing what he celebrates unless he tells you. Besides which, your intentions were to include, not exclude. I give my therapist a Christmas present every year and have no idea what/if she celebrates. It's from the heart. If someone wished me Happy Chanukah, I'd love that.
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  #182  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 09:20 AM
Anonymous43207
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker View Post
I am such a proud mum, my eldest daughter got her final grade last Saturday, this morning she was offered a place at our top university. She was getting ready to go to one of the other choices as she didnt think she would get in now she has ro reverse all her plans. She wants to study Goverment and industrial relations, i have no idea but if thats what she wants
Congratulations to both you and your daughter BCM! That's so awesome!! As they told us at my son's certification ceremony (he won't call it a graduation haha) it isn't just the students working hard, it's the support they get from their parents too all rolled together.
Thanks for this!
88Butterfly88, Anastasia~, CantExplain, LonesomeTonight, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
  #183  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 09:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh View Post
LT, I would not worry about that at all. You have no way of knowing what he celebrates unless he tells you. Besides which, your intentions were to include, not exclude. I give my therapist a Christmas present every year and have no idea what/if she celebrates. It's from the heart. If someone wished me Happy Chanukah, I'd love that.
Thanks, RR. I'm sure you're right. Plus, my T should probably be one of the last people I need to worry about offending with something like that...
Thanks for this!
88Butterfly88, Anastasia~, CantExplain, unaluna
  #184  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 10:19 AM
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Morning couchies! I'm off work today cuz 1) i had 8 hours of purchased PTO that I had to use-or-lose, and 2) my son's flying out this afternoon to visit my mom and sisters in Missouri for the holiday. I'd had to have left early to take him anyway, so I figured, use up the paid time off that I have to use before the end of the year and take the whole day. So I'm just kickin' back today until it's time to take him to the airport later! I work tomorrow and see t (final session?) then I'm off 3 days.

January 1 and 58 hour work-weeks are almost here again!
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  #185  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 10:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
I feel weird asking this question. So, I'd already mentioned something about Christmas shopping to T a couple weeks ago. It made sense for him, at the end of session this week, to wish me a good Christmas. I said the same back to him. He thanked me. Said something about it when I got home to H, and he was like, "Yeah, but he's Jewish." I said I'd just assumed his name was Eastern European/Russian. H was like, "Uh, where do you think most of the Jews went?" Out of curiosity, I looked up his surname, and Google was like, could that be any more of an Ashkenazi Jewish name?

So...it's cool I told him to have a good Christmas, right? Since he wished it for me, and I was just reciprocating? I mean, MC is very open about being Jewish (like talking about his childhood and how they weren't allowed on golf courses, making jokes, etc.), but would talk about celebrating Christmas, which confused me, and he later revealed, after a very confusing comment about his priest friend marrying him and his wife, that his wife was Catholic. While T has never said anything about his religious beliefs (or lack thereof).

I feel like this is such a dumb thing to worry about, but I don't want him to be offended. Not that I got that vibe from him in the slightest... but do I acknowledge and maybe ask about it next session? Is that prying too much? (Or would he think I'm silly for not knowing?)
Last holiday season, I gave my therapist the whole list of major holiday greetings - Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays. He kind of laughed and said "Merry Christmas is fine". I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Thanks for this!
88Butterfly88, kecanoe, LonesomeTonight, rainbow8, unaluna
  #186  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 11:15 AM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker View Post
I am such a proud mum, my eldest daughter got her final grade last Saturday, this morning she was offered a place at our top university. She was getting ready to go to one of the other choices as she didnt think she would get in now she has ro reverse all her plans. She wants to study Goverment and industrial relations, i have no idea but if thats what she wants
You are women out standing in your fields!! Its in your genes!
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #187  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 11:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
That's true as well--it's not like he commented on lighting the menorah and I said, "Rejoice in the birth of Christ!" or something.
That made me laugh out loud.

My T and I discussed Christmas trees in session briefly (real vs. artificial), and I asked which she had, so I know that she celebrates. It didn't occur to me until right now that that was a cultural disclosure of sorts. There is nothing to indicate that she is Jewish or Muslim or something, though, and I don't know if Christmas is a religious or a cultural holiday for her. It does kind of wreck the running joke that my spouse and I have about my T being Jewish, though...
Thanks for this!
CantExplain, chihirochild, LonesomeTonight
  #188  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 11:26 AM
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Thanks Spoon, Munie, BCM, capt...and thanks for the well-wishes, Cake.

Freaking intense session, but I think it was absolutely needed.
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  #189  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 12:04 PM
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Roses are falling.
 
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11 more days and I feel like I'm unraveling.

I'm tempted to email another therapist- but feel that this would be classified as acting up and "acting in ways that undermine therapy". Maybe I am just being dramatic but I'm just struggling.

Last class tomorrow at 9.30am- funnily enough it's in the psychiatry department and a seminar with the head of psychiatry called " involuntary hospitalizations" .

Possible trigger:


Flight home the next day at 8pm.
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  #190  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 01:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElectricManatee View Post
That made me laugh out loud.

My T and I discussed Christmas trees in session briefly (real vs. artificial), and I asked which she had, so I know that she celebrates. It didn't occur to me until right now that that was a cultural disclosure of sorts. There is nothing to indicate that she is Jewish or Muslim or something, though, and I don't know if Christmas is a religious or a cultural holiday for her...
My chiro asked me about the holiday, i said i was a buddhist. He goes, so you celebrate "nothing"! I said, and "everything"! We are a blue city in a red state

In other news, this morning i made an appt with a new pdoc at an old place. As my pdoc is taking a break, i will be going back to the university training facility which is where i found him to begin with ten years ago, and breaking in a new one
Hugs from:
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Thanks for this!
CantExplain, chihirochild
  #191  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 01:17 PM
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SalingerEsme SalingerEsme is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemoncake View Post
11 more days and I feel like I'm unraveling.

I'm tempted to email another therapist- but feel that this would be classified as acting up and "acting in ways that undermine therapy". Maybe I am just being dramatic but I'm just struggling.

Last class tomorrow at 9.30am- funnily enough it's in the psychiatry department and a seminar with the head of psychiatry called " involuntary hospitalizations" .

Possible trigger:


Flight home the next day at 8pm.
Anything that gives a big dopamine hit ca ease up SH thoughts- like a 2 mile run or even a big sleep or a bubble bath or petting a puppy, weirdly. I am on your side completely, about how abandoning the T feels on vacation. I was a wreck over thanksgiving, and really angry too. You should call anyone you want to get relief for your feelings and either dont tell or let it be news he asked too much of you.
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  #192  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 01:58 PM
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Happy Winter solstice to those in the Northern Hemisphere.
Thanks for this!
Anastasia~, chihirochild, Lemoncake, rainbow8, Searching4meaning, unaluna
  #193  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 02:09 PM
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Lemoncake Lemoncake is offline
Roses are falling.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SalingerEsme View Post
Anything that gives a big dopamine hit ca ease up SH thoughts- like a 2 mile run or even a big sleep or a bubble bath or petting a puppy, weirdly. I am on your side completely, about how abandoning the T feels on vacation. I was a wreck over thanksgiving, and really angry too. You should call anyone you want to get relief for your feelings and either dont tell or let it be news he asked too much of you.
Thank you replying Esme and for taking the time to reply previously as well. I was supposed to send you a thank you but didn't get round to it.



I ended up giving in. The only person I have is my 23 year old baby brother who struggles as much as I do. He's currently in his second year with exams looming on the horizon too- so I hold back from telling him. He needs my support and reassurance to just keep telling him he's doing okay. My Immunology exam is still on the 12th and I've been in bed for most of these last 3 days doing zero studying watching conspiracy videos on youtube- anything to just distract myself.My mind just feels so lost.
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Anonymous45127
  #194  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 03:47 PM
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Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn View Post
Happy Winter solstice to those in the Northern Hemisphere.
Does the solstice only apply to those in the northern hemisphere? [Plays ignorance card]
Thanks for this!
awkwardlyyours, CantExplain
  #195  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 03:54 PM
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Just saw orthopedic Dr. He agrees with my primary Dr. that I need to see a rheumatologist. That's not until January 5. Doesn't think I have sciatica. He doesn't know what I have!!!
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  #196  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 04:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Runcible Spoon View Post
Does the solstice only apply to those in the northern hemisphere? [Plays ignorance card]
I think it would be summer solstice there? Where are the Australia/NZ couchies? I guess probably sleeping... (Do we have anyone from South America? Not sure...)
  #197  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 05:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8 View Post
Just saw orthopedic Dr. He agrees with my primary Dr. that I need to see a rheumatologist. That's not until January 5. Doesn't think I have sciatica. He doesn't know what I have!!!
Honestly, it didn't sound like sciatica to me either. Sorry you have to wait until Jan. 5 to see the rheumatologist--I hope he/she can give you some answers. Did the orthopedist have any other suggestions on how to deal with it until then?
Thanks for this!
rainbow8
  #198  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 05:29 PM
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This is not intended to be some sort of dramatic "I'm leaving" post, and certainly not a flounce... I'm not leaving forever and I think I will likely lurk a bit, but I won't be around much for the foreseeable future (I guess I already haven't been). I'll keep checking my PMs. I just wanted to apologise in advance for not 'hugging' and 'thanking' and generally being around to offer support. I am really very, very fond of you lot.

((Couch))
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  #199  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 05:35 PM
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I have completed the xmas dinner shopping. I have a large piece of beef to roast. I may cut it and try a couple of different styles.
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  #200  
Old Dec 21, 2017, 05:43 PM
Anonymous42961
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Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
I think it would be summer solstice there? Where are the Australia/NZ couchies? I guess probably sleeping... (Do we have anyone from South America? Not sure...)
Yep summer solstice here. Like we need more sun, at least where i live.
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unaluna
Thanks for this!
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