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  #351  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 03:06 PM
Anonymous55499
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Tis the season for desserts, apparently. I'm making some fat free cheesecake pudding. I've had a migraine all day, but it's the worst one I've had in a long time. Ocular symptoms, which normally I don't have. Listening to HGTV whilst trying to keep my eyes closed.
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  #352  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 03:11 PM
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Originally Posted by daisydid View Post
Tis the season for desserts, apparently. I'm making some fat free cheesecake pudding. I've had a migraine all day, but it's the worst one I've had in a long time. Ocular symptoms, which normally I don't have. Listening to HGTV whilst trying to keep my eyes closed.
Hope you feel better soon, Daisy. I hate ocular symptoms...sometimes I get just ocular ones.
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  #353  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 03:23 PM
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Hope you feel better, Daisy.
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  #354  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 03:27 PM
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Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
I might try making a pumpkin can plus sugar free chocolate cake mix - those are the only ingredients - cake. But i have to clean the kitchen first!
I've made a couple of those 2-ingredient cakes, a can of pumpkin one but it was with a yellow cake mix, it turned out really good. And the one where you pour a can of soda into a cake mix. That one wasn't quite as good as the pumpkin one, but still got eaten. (my h and son pretty much never met a cake they didn't like lol)

the only bad thing about making cheesecake is it bakes for 50 minutes....
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  #355  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 03:42 PM
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Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
No one looks at their best dead.
That wasn't my point. My point was that many people who look all put together on the outside are hiding very human flaws and features that only a coroner or emergency responder would see. I won't go into details. It was more about how money and outer appearances are often a lie.
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  #356  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 03:44 PM
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Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn View Post
I am baking a chocolate cheesecake. And may open another bottle of wine.

I feel like I have wronged t somehow in my realizations of yesterday and today.
Wronged her how? (If it's okay to ask.)
  #357  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 03:48 PM
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I listened to a portion of my session from last week. According to a comment my therapist made, I rolled my eyes when I gave her a gift. It's weird because I think what was going on was more bracing myself for what she would say about the gift. Now I know that looks like eye rolling on the outside.
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  #358  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 03:55 PM
awkwardlyyours awkwardlyyours is offline
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Originally Posted by ruh roh View Post
I listened to a portion of my session from last week. According to a comment my therapist made, I rolled my eyes when I gave her a gift. It's weird because I think what was going on was more bracing myself for what she would say about the gift. Now I know that looks like eye rolling on the outside.
You gave her a gift while rolling your eyes at.....the gift? Her? Both?

Now I'm super curious (and you totally don't need to share of course) -- what was the gift?
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  #359  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 03:59 PM
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The lasagna smells amazing, if i do say so myself. Its that cheesy italian restaurant smell!
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  #360  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 04:02 PM
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Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours View Post
You gave her a gift while rolling your eyes at.....the gift? Her? Both?

Now I'm super curious (and you totally don't need to share of course) -- what was the gift?
I didn't know that's what I was doing, but I imagine it was about both. I gave her a wall sculpture I made.

She said my gift giving could use some refinements.
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  #361  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 04:07 PM
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Originally Posted by ruh roh View Post
Wronged her how? (If it's okay to ask.)
I don't know. It's just a feeling. It's like, I feel something like guilt? Maybe it's because when I told her I'd been thinking about not coming back, but that I respected her too much to disappear on her, she asked me if that was coming from a place of like getting back at her for something. Something like that. I said no! It wasn't like that at all. That it was more, that I knew it would be easier than coming here again and saying I wasn't coming back. But later I started feeling a little hurt by her question. I dunno. I posted it here in case anybody had any ideas where that might come from.

eta: maybe I'm just channeling my sadness at leaving her into a bunch of other things in an attempt not to feel it?
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  #362  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 04:14 PM
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Ze chocolate cheesecake:

Couch 159: Aemilia, a Couch on the Asteroid Belt
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  #363  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 04:17 PM
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(((Artie))) have you ever just said, im mad we cant be friends? I apologize if youve covered this topic before. But it sounds to me like thats what she might have meant you were getting back at her for?

I cant really relate to this issue - im like, on the one hand, i still tell my t i plan on being his next wife. Otoh, we are so "jack spratt and his wife" incompatible that its ridiculous. So the being friends with t issue kind of resolved itself for me - the fantasy is intact, but the reality is sooooo busted. But i can live with that.
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  #364  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 04:20 PM
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Son is out of town, h just left on a job, alllllll by myseeeeeelllfffff.....
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  #365  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 04:20 PM
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Ze lasagne
Attached Images
File Type: jpg 20171224_161857.jpg (364.3 KB, 15 views)
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  #366  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 04:24 PM
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Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
(((Artie))) have you ever just said, im mad we cant be friends? I apologize if youve covered this topic before. But it sounds to me like thats what she might have meant you were getting back at her for?

I cant really relate to this issue - im like, on the one hand, i still tell my t i plan on being his next wife. Otoh, we are so "jack spratt and his wife" incompatible that its ridiculous. So the being friends with t issue kind of resolved itself for me - the fantasy is intact, but the reality is sooooo busted. But i can live with that.
No I've never said that out loud. I avoid the topic like the plague!! I told her in my email though, that the wishing we could be friends was getting in the way during our conversations. Below the surface kind of getting in the way, blocking me from fully answering questions, stuff like that. maybe that IS what she meant except she didn't explain what she meant and I hadn't yet had the realization that it was bothering me, so, meh.

I SO want a do-over of Friday evening.

eta: thanks, btw!
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  #367  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 04:26 PM
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Ze lasagne looks pretty darn tasty! I hope it is!

Golly between your lasagne, my cheesecake and wine, we could have a couch party!
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  #368  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 04:29 PM
awkwardlyyours awkwardlyyours is offline
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(Deleted)

Sorry, realized it wasn't very supportive.

Last edited by awkwardlyyours; Dec 24, 2017 at 04:47 PM.
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  #369  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 04:53 PM
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I dunno, Art -- I am very likely being an arse but I do think there's some merit to the cliche that one of the marks of a good therapy relationship would be the way the ending happens.

To me, from all that you've posted (not just now but over all the time I've read your posts), it doesn't sound as if an anything like an ending is really being worked out in your therapy.

It keeps sounding like a break-up where you can't quit each other and keep going back for yet another shot at it -- I'm not sure how much therapy goes on in that sort of a setup, as opposed to just a general (non-therapy) relationship?

I don't know what the resolution to that sort of a thing is because one or both parties needs to change -- when I couldn't work it out with former T, I finally decided to quit because it was clear that neither of us would budge. I'd have quit even if I hadn't found another therapist because it was super clear that there was really nothing of value to be had any more.

If the feeling of wronging is coming from a sense of leaving a relationship, then sure, that's par for the course. But, if it's just coming from going through a -- what to me at least, sounds like anything but a good -- therapy ending, then that would really bother me. Because, this is the sort of stuff that really is the meat of what therapy is supposed to help resolve / put an end to etc.
Thank you for that. It's helped me clarify something. What stopdog said was so right about me seeing it almost like a graduation or something. A right of passage maybe. Closing a door and opening a new one and stepping through and moving forward, not looking back. Her calling it a "break" even a very open-ended one like I told her it would need to be, doesn't give me any closure at all on this relationship ending. Because it is. I need a concrete ending, and she doesn't 'do' concrete endings. She probably told me that a long time ago, while I was still in the mindset of "I'll never be able to leave her" and it was probably a comfort to me. It's not comforting anymore though. It's like we're not only not on the same page anymore, but in different libraries too.

Although with the realization this morning that I think it would be in my best interest to see a different t, probably a male this time, that changes things and if/when I do decide to find a new one, like I said earlier it's gonna be awhile cuz I need to clear my therapeutic palate if there is such a thing before I attempt this **** again, that realization is helping me put the closure on current t that I so need and you know what, it's ME that needs closure obviously not her, so why do I need her to find it? I don't. I'll find it inside myself.

Thank you. So much.
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  #370  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 04:54 PM
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(Deleted)

Sorry, realized it wasn't very supportive.
it actually was. i already quoted it oops.

to me it felt thoughtfully said and it was helpful.
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  #371  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 05:09 PM
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omgosh this cheesecake is divine...
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  #372  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 05:15 PM
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It looks good Art, enjoy! Enjoy the yummy lasanga unaluna.
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  #373  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 05:21 PM
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omgosh this cheesecake is divine...
So was my lasagne. The packaged sliced provolone added a lot of flavor and smell without being too chewy. I never used no boil noodles before, they were pretty light too. Very tasty!
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  #374  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 05:35 PM
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You guys are making me hungry. But dinner is soon so thats okay.
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  #375  
Old Dec 24, 2017, 05:52 PM
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Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn View Post
I don't know. It's just a feeling. It's like, I feel something like guilt? Maybe it's because when I told her I'd been thinking about not coming back, but that I respected her too much to disappear on her, she asked me if that was coming from a place of like getting back at her for something. Something like that. I said no! It wasn't like that at all. That it was more, that I knew it would be easier than coming here again and saying I wasn't coming back. But later I started feeling a little hurt by her question. I dunno. I posted it here in case anybody had any ideas where that might come from.

eta: maybe I'm just channeling my sadness at leaving her into a bunch of other things in an attempt not to feel it?

Oh, ouch. I don't know what she was thinking with that question. She seems to have a lot of herself wrapped up in your decisions. I think you should trust your gut on this, feel good about the way you left it and leave your options open to go elsewhere or keep your own counsel.
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
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