[MRT6211]

I’ve been seeing current T for about 5 months. I had a really bad experience in getting attached and overly dependent on ex-T, so up until about a few weeks ago, I kept current T at a distance and didn’t tell her any emotional stuff. Now we started this thing where I write to her and I really opened up and it makes me feel cared for and I can feel those feelings of attachment starting to come up again. I’m scared. I don’t like these feelings, they make me uncomfortable. I fear she will abandon me. She knows all about my issues with ex-T and the attachment and whatnot...so I’m wondering if I should tell current T about these feelings? I would feel so embarrassed and ashamed doing so and I really don’t want to, but I feel like it might help her help me if she knows about it...Gah, I hate this situation, I wish I wasn’t so clingy...

[SalingerEsme]

MRT, sorry you sound so stressed. Te therapy relationship can be mystifying and painful - so much responsiveness but so many boundaries, so real yet so just professional. I dont know what it would be like to be a securely attached easygoing person who takes the love of others for granted and feels safe 95 percent of the time and self-soothes etc. I am reading a book called Attachment Disturbances In Adults by Daniel Brown and and David Elliot, and one of the points is how attachment issues just cant be solved in isolation- they have to be relational. Their word for clingy is insecurely attached( I have fearful attachment), and they have a ton of ideas how to transform that and help from the T perspective. I think there is a world of hope for you to feel better, in sharing with the right T. The problem is when the Ts are not trained.