[MoxieDoxie]

Sometimes just feeling cared for is therapeutic on its own.

My T felt it might be helpful if he replied to my email I send him as a distraction( I sent him an venting email as a distraction from partaking in my eating disorder behaviors and said he did not need to reply). He said he did not reply because I said he did not need to but felt it would be helpful if he did and what kind of reply would be helpful to me.

Him thinking about that and allowing me that contact to feel connected made me feel cared for and I felt better.

[toomanycats]

That's wonderful
My T's email responses comfort me so much
Sometimes, I'll go back and re-read them when I need a reminder that I'm not alone

[NP_Complete]

Before my therapist left for a two-week holiday vacation, he wrote me a letter to be opened when I'm having a really bad day. That made me feel cared for. (I still haven't opened it. I'm not even halfway through the break yet.)

I also like to go back and reread his email responses to me. He doesn't usually respond to me unless I ask him to, but some of his responses are very meaningful to me.

[LostOnTheTrail]

Just before a break earlier this year, I asked her to write the words 'I'm with you' on a post it note that I could stick in my journal. She did...and last week, to my surprise, she gave me a Christmas card. This week she offered her hand as we entered a difficult conversation, and we ended the session with a hug. I am also a repeat reader of emails.

[stopdog]

I never felt cared for by the woman. There are people in my life who I do feel cared for by but the therapist was never among them. This is not, for me, a complaint against the woman. For me, that would not have been her place to do so. I really just cannot imagine a situation where the woman would care for me.

[SalingerEsme]

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

Before my therapist left for a two-week holiday vacation, he wrote me a letter to be opened when I'm having a really bad day. That made me feel cared for. (I still haven't opened it. I'm not even halfway through the break yet.)

I also like to go back and reread his email responses to me. He doesn't usually respond to me unless I ask him to, but some of his responses are very meaningful to me.

That kind of brought tears to my eyes. How incredibly invested in you and caring that is.

[Fernwehxx]

I feel cared for the way she looks at me when I talk, the way she asks me if im okay, the way she encourages me, and when we just chat after the session qithout her ever watching the clock. Its her way that makea me feel cared dor, really. Once we hugged, and it meant the world.

[MoxieDoxie]

Mine also goes over session by almost 20 minutes every time! I guess he does not have a client after me.

[NP_Complete]

Originally Posted by SalingerEsme

That kind of brought tears to my eyes. How incredibly invested in you and caring that is.

It probably won't live up to my expectations at this point (I've had it a week now), but the thought behind it touched me.

[ScarletPimpernel]

My T's emails are very caring. I often ask her for reassurance or encouragement, and she always follows through. I also love our hugs at the end of session. But even the fact she is there for me outside of session, shows me she cares for me.

ETA: And yhe stuffed animal and rock!

[DP_2017]

he goes above and beyond for me, in many ways. some things i know he does not do for others so that makes me feel even better

i mostly feel cared for though because he listens and does not judge, in fact he embraces my crazy and weird side with me.

[guilloche]

Previous T seemed to care "loudly" - in ways that were noticeable, even though I didn't think he actually understood me. Once, around the holidays, we were talking about scheduling and what days he was going to be out for vacation... and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to get a spot on the schedule, and he said something like, "don't worry, I'll make sure you get in".

It sounds like nothing in writing, but in the moment, it felt hugely caring! I guess, in my mind, the alternative was to say, "yeah, sorry, I already filled all my slots and I'm going on vacation, so I really can't be bothered - better luck next time!"

New T probably cares. She's nice, and smart, and is working hard to try to connect with me. I like her, but it just doesn't feel the same and I don't know why. It's very weird.

[Amyjay]

I think I am just beginning to connect and trust my t and the ways I feel cared for are quite simple but quite complex at the same time. She remembers things I have said to her and holds the narrative of my story. She recalls and relates things that have been said or done before to things that are being said and done in the moment.
She understands and accepts my defences and mind-tricks to soothe myself. When they make an appearance in the therapy room she acknowledges and accepts them, which allows me to as well.
We don't email, we don't have out of session contact, she doesn't share about herself or even say much in session, and she sticks to the time boundaries most of the time. She doesn't really "give" much in terms of overt caring.
But when she remembers my story, my parts and honors my way of surviving this hell called life, I feel very much cared for.

[kecanoe]

T1 said last session that he was glad I had scheduled into Feb, because he had been thinking about going to visit his son for a long weekend and would now schedule it for when I will be gone.

Scheduling is very hard for my young parts, and rescheduling is super hard.

[Thalassophile]

My T doesn't do anything show me he cares overtly per say which I would like.

It's taking me a long time to begin to believe that he actually does care. He listens to me attentively with 100% undivided attention each session. I think I can recall only 2 times over the years where he seemed distracted. He hears me, supports me and sees me.

I would like him to be more open about his care. He sometimes says ambiguous statements that may mean he cares but may not. He doesn't do out of session contact and maintains strict boundaries. He rarely self-discloses and is very professional. I guess that's somewhat evidence form of caring in some respects.

[MRT6211]

It made me feel cared for recently when I wrote down basically my whole life story and everything that bothered me about my childhood and gave it to her. She asked me to do that but didn’t expect me to write as much as I did. I typed 16 pages..singled spaced...12 pt times new Roman don’t...

I thought “oh this poor woman, she’s never going to have time to read it.” And to my surprise, she handed it back several hours later with notes to me about what I wrote and what we need to talk about further. It meant so, so much to me.

Weirdly enough it made me feel really cared about a few times when she got angry with me for self-destructive behaviors/acting out and then explained later that she got so mad because she cares so deeply about me and seeing me achieve my goals.

I feel cared for in the way she sees me, and how she listens so deeply. And how she remembers just everything. I'm going to miss being seen that way.

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

Sometimes just feeling cared for is therapeutic on its own.

My T felt it might be helpful if he replied to my email I send him as a distraction( I sent him an venting email as a distraction from partaking in my eating disorder behaviors and said he did not need to reply). He said he did not reply because I said he did not need to but felt it would be helpful if he did and what kind of reply would be helpful to me.

Him thinking about that and allowing me that contact to feel connected made me feel cared for and I felt better.

To many things to mention, over the years,
Of course not everyone that enters therapy needs that from a T. But I did. It's a good T that can recognise when a client does. And meet that need.

she goes above and beyond for me all the time in many ways.

[rainbow8]

Just wondering, and this isn't meant to put a damper on what our Ts do for us, but: if so many T's go "above and beyond" ( mine does too), maybe it's the norm for most Ts, and not really "above and beyond" to them. T's want to help us, and that's what they do normally. Many, not the bad Ts people post about of course. What do you think?

I feel cared for because I pay a reduced fee, saw me more often when I was having a difficult time, from 1-4 hours with no increase in fees. Since this fall we have had 90 minute sessions. I've chosen to let my fortunes go way down to be an independent woman. I'm no longer a puppet for my family or ex h. She is helping me get there. She cleaned people's houses to get there. Americans in general are a giving people. This is one more way she pays it forward.

Emailing and phone calls have no limits or extra fees. If I activated my contaminate oil wells, I would imagine I could pay for thousands of emails and phone calls. For some people the lack of money stops them, for others money it is not an issue. Her response, "Why should I make it an issue." If you need a response please let me know or if there is something contained within that I want to respond, I will. She is all for giving encouragement in emails. I rarely call.

I feel cared fore because she has gotten to know me quickly and cuts to the chase when I am not being forward about what's going on. Sometimes the old me wants to display its self, she understands that, and has learned how to break through.

She is willing to break the "therapeutic frame" and tell me what she hopes I will do — stick with it, don't abandon ship. She does what I call, common sense therapy.

She is willing to be open about her life. I don't feel a need to know, but I've asked her a few things. She said she made the decision long ago to not be a blank slate.

She understand that Suicide is an individual's right. No authorities will ever be called. We have discussed it, though I have never been suicidal with her. In fact, I have not thought of it as a plan of action for ~4-5 years. The feeling of wanting to be dead used to haunt me 24/7 for decades.

Gifts, she accepts them gratefully. She doesn't need to looks a gift horse in the mouth, looking for alternative psychological motives. This one is enough, "The heart that gives, gathers." ~unknown

She is not willing to hold me, "I don't do that kind of therapy." She is willing to read to me, but I have not wanted or needed it, I just needed to know if she would. She gives great hugs at the end of every session.

[JaneTennison1]

She keeps her boundaries and keeps her word. I feel like she cares about me because she doesn't try anything. This might sound silly but every person has trampled on my boundaries at some point or done what they want, by respecting me I feel she cares. That is probably "normal" but it's so rare for me I find it caring

[Mike_J]

She sometimes gets visibly upset with me, if she didn't care she wouldn't get upset

She hasn't terminated me, so I guess she has to care for me at least a bit.

[malika138]

Thanks to the OP for this thread. It is helpful to be reminded of all the varied ways Ts do care for us, especially for me now that I won't see my T for two weeks. I know that 2 weeks isn't a long time, but ...

My t is amazingly nonjudgmental and accepting. I've told her so many things and she's been unfazed and supportive. She responds to my emails quickly. I think she is modeling what a trusting relationship looks like; this is a new thing for me.

[ElectricManatee]

My T has worked with me to figure out what I need (I didn't know either, when we started) and now does what she can to help meet my needs, at least the ones that she can help with. I feel cared for when she remembers things, especially little things I have said, and asks about them later or brings them into the narrative at appropriate points. One time I told her that I freaked a bit when I got a session cancellation notice via email at work because I thought she was canceling the next day's session without even telling me why (it turned out it was a much later session that we had already planned to reschedule). Since then she has made a point to only cancel/rearrange things when I am in her office. It's so small, but I like that she goes out of her way not to cause me even the slightest bit of unnecessary distress.